Dante. Is it too mean in these circumstances?

Like the name but the explanation is just horrible even if it is just a dark joke.

I'm so sorry for your loss Op. I too, have been through something very similar.

For me, it sounds as though you are naming your baby for YOU. What he put you through, what his birth means to you.
You're not naming him for HIM. He will forever be burdened by this and really it's quite selfish imo. I'm not sure how I'm explaining it well but I think it's a negative idea.

I'm sorry for you past loss, OP. That's really sad. But I wouldn't use this name in these circumstances. I love the name and it was in our list for baby DS, but if I was already thinking along the lines you are (which I wasn't), I wouldn't use it. It keeps the negativity at the forefront way too much. I'd name him something with more joyful (or at least neutral!) connotations to you.

It isn't that he's put you through hell though is it? It's that you went through hell to have him and here he is, all worth it and fabulous. It could be a really positive thing!
Look how much you went through to have him and now he's almost here!

Use the name. Just don't tell him or anyone why!

Why not call him Dante because he GOT you rather than put you through hell
I like this. Divine Comedy isn't just about hell, its about endurance and perseverance.
You and he have gone through the 9 circles of hell to be together and now you are you can climb the rest of the mountain of luge y together.

However I'd probably just tell him yiu really like the name / named after a favourite author until he's older and stick with we've (3) began through hell

This is awful, however you try to justify it. Please do not do this to an apparently much wanted and loved child.

There are plenty of strong, positive names associated with literary characters who have overcome.

What you’re basically saying is “you put us through hell”. Regardless of how you justify it.

Plus, is that what you want to think every time you look at your child?

Your DH sounds like a bit of a knob, actually. “Dark humour” often translates to “arsehole, but people don’t get me wah, wah, wah.”

But it’s your kid!

What’s that poem?

They fuck you up, your mum and dad...

No one will think of the whole of the divine comedy, they will just think of the inferno. And it’s a really mean name to give to a baby.

Having been told multiple times that i was "such a horrible baby that they should have chucked me and kept the afterbirth lol " i would choose a different name without any negativity attached.

If he is a rainbow baby then give him the middle name Unicorn or something.

Why not call him Dante because he GOT you rather than put you through hell?

No. Aside from the negative aspects, if you told me that story I would think you were a bit .

Agree with bridget . My first pregnancy was awful but tbh, I have mainly forgotten it. I certainly wouldn’t want to think of it every time I saw my daughter.

No. It's not so much that it's mean to him, it's the negative connotations it will have for you and your husband. When he's born, it's not a good idea to keep having something that reminds you of those whenever you talk to him.

No I think it's too mean. Would you really be explaining the whole of The Divine Comedy to anyone who asked? The most known part is the seven circles of hell, especially with the 'joke' included. I like the meaning of Theo in your circumstances. I do like a middle name with meaning.

I think it's fine OP. It's a nice name, it has a lot of personal meaning for you and as you say it's not all negative. Plus it will be his middle name which most people won't know anyway.

Hope the rest of your pregnancy is smooth and you have your lovely little chap safe in your arms soon.

I like it - middle names need a "story" imo (obviously just emphasise the good bits

• to EVERYONE, not just him - not the circles of hell stuff)

I like the name but not your reason for using it.

My parents gave me a nice name but with a dark/ 'funny' meaning for them, it wasn't funny to a child I can tell you.

And actually it's meaning is apparently 'enduring'

I love it as a name, and there are a few other other famous Dantes -a football player, a poet. It's a name used in Italy (although not super popular) and if you weren't to advertise the fact, I doubt many people know the full saga of the Divine Comedy, even if they have heard of its author.
We couldn't use it as a name for DC as our surname already has it in, so we used it for our business name instead.

No, I don't like it. I think you are giving the name far too much negative meaning.

I understand how this pregnancy must have been very stressful and difficult for you, and even more so under the circumstances I would chose something with a joyful meaning.

What about Theo or Theodore meaning divine gift? Still got that divine comedy connection maybe but only obvious for you and dh, and it’s a very positive name.

The problem is, even with your additional comment, you're giving him this narrative from birth. Don't let his life be dictated by your pregnancy with him.

It's negative, whichever way you slice it.

However you try to justify it, relating your baby’s name to hell in any way is only fine if you have already saved up thousands of pounds in money for therapy.

If someone told me that their name was Dante because of the connection to the Divine Comedy, I’d assume their parents were the kind of smug abusers who act like pillar of the community very very smart types while taunting their kids daily.

It’s a terrible idea, OP.