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Original poster

Husband wants another baby but I dont.

7 replies

Lingerling3 · 28/04/2018 22:38

Husband wants another baby but I don't.
I'm 39 and my husband 36. I have an 11 yr old son from a previous marriage and 3 yr old girl with current husband. I'm happy with the family we've got but husband wants another baby predominantly because he would like a biological son of his own.
I have suffered with depression and am on anti-depressants currently which was driven in the main from losing my sister suddenly 8 yrs ago.
Things are not the best between me and hubby and I feel like there's an underlying resentment on his part for me not agreeing to another baby. I'm worried it will be too hard and coming off my anti-depressants would be stressful and have a negative effect on my two children.
AIBU to continue to say no to another? I wish I could say yes but I'm just too scared. I'm so torn and feel so guilty 😔.

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TatianaLarina · 29/04/2018 12:17

Oh I see you’ve created a new one, I thought you were just going to get this moved. I will post over there.

TatianaLarina · 29/04/2018 12:16

It’s totally unreasonable to expect a 39 year old woman go through pregnancy and childbirth again just because he fancies a boy.

He has no grounds to resent you for that.

If things aren’t good between you and you split, you’d be single mum to 3 rather than 2 and a small baby to look after.

Original poster
Lingerling3 · 28/04/2018 23:22

Thanks both of you for your replies. I've created a new thread under AIBU as suggested. So sorry I'm very new to this and clearly have not got the hang of it!

OP posts:
BlackBat · 28/04/2018 23:10

You might want to ask to have this thread moved to a different section, presumably AIBU based on your last question, so you get more replies.

I’m in the opposite situation to you. I desperately want another child but my DH currently doesn’t for very valid reasons that I completely understand. Ultimately having another child needs to be something you both agree on and, if you don’t, the person saying no is the deciding vote.

Wolfiefan · 28/04/2018 23:03

It is though!!
I was desperate for a second after my first child. We had number two and I am done. Wild horses wouldn't drag me back!!
There's a difference between not doing anything and giving into having another baby (or more than one if he wants a boy. WTF BTW?!) to keep the peace.

Original poster
Lingerling3 · 28/04/2018 22:57

@Wolfiefan thank you, it has been tough but I don't like to be all I'm so scared I won't do anything kind of person. Guess I know deep down it's not right but part of me thinks if I do say yes he will be happy.
Now I've said it out loud it sounds absolutely ridiculous.
Bladdy hell it shouldn't be this hard surely?!

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 28/04/2018 22:46

And if it's a girl?
If you don't want another then don't say yes. If your relationship isn't solid you could end up going it alone anyway.
So sorry for your loss. Depression is so hard.