Hermione and Lysander for twins?

I was told by lots of people to choose 'sensible' names for my DC when I was pregnant so they wouldn't get bullied . I chose names that are ordinary at home but rare in England. The 'sensible name' people all said 'Oh, are they family names?' when told my children's names, I assume they didn't like them! The more educated and widely travelled people were the more likely they were to like their names. Fear of unusual names is as strong a marker of the lower middle class as the way they eat their bread.

Funnily enough none of the DC have been bullied about their names at school. DD regularly gets told by older girls her name is 'cool', DS's name is always mentioned on the 'cool and unusual names for boys' threads on here. We live in a multicultural society, and we are much more accepting of unusual names than we were 40 years ago when Asian immigrants all adopted 'English' names.

My children both have very traditional, very "old-fashioned" names, which have been shortened - think 'Elizabeth' becoming 'Beth' and 'Andrew' becoming 'Drew', for example (not their actual names!). However, the shortened versions of their names which their immediate family fell into using when they were babies... are not the shortened versions which their friends use. Think 'Liz' instead of 'Beth' and 'Andy' instead of 'Drew'. Which at the time, I have to admit, we didn't even take into consideration - both my ex and I also have very traditional, very "old-fashioned" names, which... have never been shortened. Not even by our friends. So we were unprepared for 'Drew's friend's mother, for example, asking if 'Andy' was available for a playdate (at the time, I remember asking if we were talking about the same boy, because I honestly thought she'd muddled him up with another child!).

Also, one of my godsons is called Aloysius - he insists upon everyone calling him Aly, because he hates that his parents bestowed that name upon him. And I have to look up how to spell it every single time I have to write it down (on their Christmas cards to the whole family, and his birthday cards mostly, because they hate that he shortens it at all!). So perhaps choose names which your children won't have to spend their lifetimes correcting people's misspellings of them, and be prepared that your Mya might be called Hermie, and your Sander might end up being called Ly by their school friends.

I actually like the names, by the way. Perhaps you could still incorporate them in as middle names...?

Buxbaum has said it much better than I could.

I think they're both good names. I actually chickened out of giving DD a 'pretentious' name and used it as a middle instead with a 'normal' first name. It didn't work, the 'normal' name doesn't suit her so we've always called her a nickname based on her middle name, so a whole extra layer of ridiculousness :)

The narrowness of the horizons and the intolerance of difference is so depressing. The idea that anything to do with education or culture is ‘pretentious’ or ‘trying to be posh’.

I agree. Our kids have names we love, that to us sound beautiful and aren't overused. And we are normal people and are not 'trying or pretending' anything else!

Kids don’t give a fuck about each others’ names unless they happen to sound a bit like rude words.

The only boy that I heard getting teased a little in ds's school is a Will with Willy. I can also imagine that a Benedict may get called Bendy Dick by silly kids. Or Smellie Ellie.

But Lysander? That's a beautiful classic name that sounds no different to kids than Christopher or Alexander! Nothing tease worthy about it! Also nothing tease worthy about lots of other beautiful names that some of you find ' pretentious'!

The children who bullied me did it because they had learnt somewhere that academic ability, and curiosity, and knowledge, were to be sneered at and derided. Those same children seem to be on this thread, all grown up and still determined to label anyone with horizons different to their own as ‘pretentious’ and ‘try hard.’

I’m sorry to hear of your experience and I totally agree.

The narrowness of the horizons and the intolerance of difference is so depressing. The idea that anything to do with education or culture is ‘pretentious’ or ‘trying to be posh’.

The attitudes on this thread are deeply unpleasant.

I have a very boring, ‘classic’, popular name. It didn’t protect me from bullying. I was bullied for years because I was a clever, bookish child in a badly-run school which made no attempt to celebrate academic success and only fêted sporting ability.

The children who bullied me did it because they had learnt somewhere that academic ability, and curiosity, and knowledge, were to be sneered at and derided. Those same children seem to be on this thread, all grown up and still determined to label anyone with horizons different to their own as ‘pretentious’ and ‘try hard.’

Kids don’t give a fuck about each others’ names unless they happen to sound a bit like rude words. If OP’s children were to be bullied for their ‘pretentious ‘ names then the blame would lie squarely with their parents for teaching them to fear and mock anything slightly different to them.

I agree with Growingboys.
A bit pretentious.
They'd be regarded as very pretentious in Ireland.

I bloody love them. Went to uni with a Lysander who was known as Ly.

OP I like your style of names!

Agree with Tatiana and Tumbleted. How dare anyone read and be inspired by anything not in the Sainsburys Top-10, and how dare anyone call there child anything other than Jack, Finn, Lily or Mia or anything longer than two syllables. Makes life harder for everyone else who has never hear of Greek myths or Shakespeare. This person is aspiring far above their social standing and needs to blend in the rest, not stick out and not make people perplexed. Please do be more considerate to the population at large 🤣

Only if you are happy for them to be mocked mercilessly by other kids !

That was to Marsha ^

Exactly in London they’d be in classes with kids called Ayobunmi, Raahithya and Tzigana (all real names).

I think Lysander is an excellent name; I am not that keen on Hermione but only because it always makes me think “hermaphrodite”, which is probably just me! I also think this “try hard” “what impression are you trying to create” stuff is nonsense, and I speak as someone whose children both have top 20 names - if you love a name, and it isn’t derogatory in some way, then use it. It is also nonsense to say “working class areas” do not have a wide range of names, they certainly do and Hermione and Lysander are not going to stand out IMO.

Or if you’re in a really mixed area with different cultures and names no one will blink an eye

These threads make me laugh. If you start calling people ‘chavvy’ on here you get 50
shades of shit thrown at you but if someone suggests a ‘pretentious’ names the mumsnetters can descend and assassinate your social standing until the cows come home. Bit hypocritical if you ask me.
Lysander and Aurelia are lovely and not even that ‘out there’ in my opinion-however all the children I know to be born recently have had names like Ocean and River...

depends where you live to be honest. If a really posh area, then go ahead, if a not so posh area / working class area and you don't mind your children being bullied and yourselves being laughed at, then go ahead.

I didn't get bullied because of my name, but my name was used to bully me if that makes sense. It rhymes with some common rude words and because I was generally unpopular people used that against me. But another girl with almost the exact same name who was generally popular didn't get any trouble from it. So I don't think kids get teased because of their names, but if they're being teased then a name can make it worse. I don't think you should reject a name you love on those grounds, but it is something to be aware of.

Amelia and George are far nicer than the other pretentious suggestions on here though

No they’re not. They’re nice enough names but they’re very boring and overused.

which is why people are saying it seems like you're trying too hard. They are the sorts of names people choose when they want to convey the impression of being posh, but without realising that those names aren't remotely posh, they're simply pretentious

The obsession with class on here is staggering. And the idea that you shouldn’t get above your station.

Giving children beautiful, old, literary or mythological names is absolutely fucking nothing to do with class.

It’s conservative, philistine, provincial nonsense.

India or Arabella and Lysander?

Love both Lysander and Hermione. Both on my dream list. So what if they are slightly more cerebral names. My daughter also has an unusual name which is similar and loves her name. Go for it.

I don’t really get the posh people can do no wrong vibe either. It doesn’t make the simple names they choose better or worse

Agree there are loads of names like this out there