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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Made the mistake of telling people what name we like...!

127 replies

Nixen · 21/03/2018 07:17

My DH and I both love the name Felicity.

I’ve struggled a bit emotionally with this pregnancy anyway as we had a loss last year and my family are not respecting my wishes not to shout the news from the bloody roof tops. I get that they are excited and that is lovely, but I feel very uncomfortable about the contents of my uterus being discussed with everyone they meet.

I made the mistake of telling my mum we liked the name Felicity and she has said ‘if it’s girl I’d like you to reconsider your name... kids can be cruel blah blah blah’ and some other shit about how when people asked her what names we were thinking and she said Felicity they were like ‘oh’ rather than ‘that’s lovely’ ... like I should give a shit what some random person from her work thinks?

It has really really upset me and I now don’t want to discuss anything to do with names with her. She keeps suggesting other girls names and it’s really getting to me. I was so upset by what she said and it’s making me feel dreadful thinking when baby comes she will hate the name - oh and she says my dad and brother don’t like it either Sad

(the boys name we told her is a family name which everyone is happy with... but we actually know we are having a girl - she doesn’t yet!)

I know it’s DH and my choice, but it’s making me feel shitty and just adding to me really not wanting to discuss my pregnancy with her full stop. Any advice? Sad

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notacooldad · 21/03/2018 08:20

Oh god, we had this from my parents 20 odd years ago.
I mentioned that if we had a boy we may call him George. My mothers response was oh, you can't call him that , they All will say Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie.
If I said We are thinking of calling him Jack she would say, oh you can't call him Jack, they wil All say..... etc.
( there was a big emphasis on the All, as if the whole world would mock the name)

I just snapped and said who are all these people and why will they say these things.
DS needed up having close friends through school called George, Jack and all the other names we consideredand guess what? Nobody said any of the things mum predicted!

We never said a with DS 2 until after he was born. It made life easier.

Luckingfovely · 21/03/2018 08:10

Just say no.

No, I am not discussing it with you again.

No, it is our decision.

No, I do not want to hear your opinions.

No, you should not be discussing it at work.

No. No. No.

EllieMe · 21/03/2018 08:07

Felicity is a classic name. I know a few of varying ages so it won't "date".

brogueish · 21/03/2018 08:05

Agree with PPs - Felicity is a beautiful name. Ignore your mum!

LillianGish · 21/03/2018 07:52

Too late for you now, but just don’t tell anyone the names you are considering/have chosen unless you are genuinely seeking their opinion. People just can’t help themselves, however no one will say anything if you wait to announce the name when the baby is born. In your case I’d probably tell your mum she will grow to love it when it is attached to her grand daughter. And in the event you do have a rethink don’t telll her the alternative.

JessicaPeach · 21/03/2018 07:46

I think it’s a beautiful name too. We didn’t tell anyone our name choice because my mil had already mentioned it in passing as the sort of name you’d never give a child as she knew a little boy who had the same name who changed it because he was bullied! She flat out denies saying that now and professes to love the name.

Stand firm and call your baby what you like, your baby, your rules! (Your mum night need a little refresher on that too before she’s born!!)

BakedBeeeen · 21/03/2018 07:46

Do what toomanyweeds has suggested. I love the name, it's great for all the reasons you listed.

Toomanyweeds · 21/03/2018 07:41

Actually reversing's idea is better Grin

EasterRobin · 21/03/2018 07:41

Felicity is a lovely name.

And who cares what other relatives think? If you don't use the name you love, you will resent it for a long time.

Toomanyweeds · 21/03/2018 07:40

Will she take you seriously if you say "mum, I do not want to discuss anything regarding names with you from now on"? Then "no mum, I said I didn't want to" every time she tries.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 21/03/2018 07:39

By the time you have your baby she may convince herself she loved this name from the start!
Could it be, the fuss over it is a distraction from caring about you very much and wishing she could fix this pregnancy for you.

Original poster
Nixen · 21/03/2018 07:39

ReversingSnail genius idea 😂 I’m going to have a think about some names she’ll truly hate today!

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Original poster
Nixen · 21/03/2018 07:37

My brother did say he wasn’t the biggest fan of the name but of course it’s DH and I’s choice. More maturity from a 23 year old than a 60 year old!

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ReversingSnail · 21/03/2018 07:37

Maybe pick three names you know she will dislike and say you're adding them to the list, so she can complain about those instead of Felicity for a while Grin

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 21/03/2018 07:34

oh and she says my dad and brother don’t like it either
She just says that to lend weight to her opinion when they very possibly uttered something non-commital to shut her up.

babydreamer1 · 21/03/2018 07:33

Felicity was our girls name (we're having a boy!) hopefully we can use it for DC2 in the future. Everyone I told loved it! Not sure why kids would be cruel about it?

Original poster
Nixen · 21/03/2018 07:31

I just wish I hadn’t told her and has just introduced baby with the name, that sounds like it would have been a much better idea!

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WhereIsBlueRabbit · 21/03/2018 07:30

Felicity is a beautiful name!

I think it's far harder for people to be rude about a name when it's attached to an actual baby, if you see what I mean. There's a difference between "we're thinking of Felicity" and "meet your new granddaughter, Felicity".

We used a pretty popular name (top 30) for our DS but it's not the "type" of name anyone in my family expected us to pick. But we didn't tell them what our shortlist was - we just introduced him to the grandparents and that seemed to work well.

IceBearRocks · 21/03/2018 07:30

I know 3 Felicity's born this year! It's a lovely name !

Original poster
Nixen · 21/03/2018 07:29

That’s the thing, I think Felicity is a fairly classic name. I suspect my mum thinks it’s too ‘posh’ but I don’t see it like that. For me it’s a name that is sweet on a little one but serious enough for a grown woman, not too popular but still well recognised and easy to spell. It’s just got to me more than I thought it would, she keeps sending me bloody suggestions - like Olivia - yes very pretty mum but the most popular name in the UK... back off!

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ReversingSnail · 21/03/2018 07:29

Ignore the negative comments. Why does your mother think it's OK to instruct you "I'd like you to..."? She had the choice of names for her own child(ren). This time it's your turn. Felicity is a beautiful name.

Yogagirl123 · 21/03/2018 07:29

I LOVE the name Felicity, it’s gorgeous and a name that was on the shortlist if we ever had a girl. Great choice OP.

Thelampshadelady · 21/03/2018 07:27

Please call your baby want you want. It’s your baby!

I don’t understand why posters on here want their families to like the names they have chosen. They’ve most likely had their own opportunity of naming a baby.

I’ve told my mum that we won’t be telling her names because she will not like anything we’ve chosen and I don’t want to feel swayed by other people’s reactions. She will find out in 10 weeks along with everyone else Smile

madeyemoodysmum · 21/03/2018 07:26

Felicity is nice unusual agreed but not to the point of weird.

Use it and stuff them.

Love the nickname flick too. It's cute

BexleyRae · 21/03/2018 07:26

People can be so rude about baby name choices.
I also endured people's comments over our choices.
In the end I said we haven't decided and we're planning to choose a name when DD was born.
We used our first choice name and no one made a negative comment when introduced to baby.
I always say most people aren't so rude that they would be awful about a newborns name