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Baby names

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Original poster

Using a friends baby name

31 replies

user2085372673 · 14/01/2018 13:58

Years ago, on discussing baby names, it transpired that a friend and I had the same baby name. We agreed that no one can claim a name and whoever got there first could use this name.

We were both pregnant at the same time, but her baby born a few months before ours, so she used the name and we went with something else for ours.

However, I'm now pregnant again and my husband and I still love the name and would still love to use it. If we don't use this name (which is still both our favourite name) the next one we can both agree on is about 20th on our list.

The friend is a really good friend but not best friend, we see each other maybe 10 times a year as part of a group but lots more texting and group WhatsApp.

So, would you be annoyed. Is this an ok thing to do?

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greeeen · 18/01/2018 21:05

I would go ahead and use the name but tell them first so it's not a surprise.

MyKingdomForBrie · 18/01/2018 20:48

Just use it! I wouldn’t care at all.

Pearlsaringer · 18/01/2018 20:44

It’s nice to ask, but from what you say I would expect your friend to be fine about it. You had an agreement and honoured it, so she got to use it first. She didn’t get exclusivity.

Btw, you both sound really nice people to have worked this out in advance so maturely.

anon989 · 18/01/2018 20:23

Ask your friend, I was in a similar situation and sent my friend a really long rambling hormonal message explaining it was really playing on my mind. She replied with a lovely message saying she thought it was really kind of me to check and she 100% didn't mind and found it a compliment. I was so relieved and then by time baby was born I picked another name anyway 😂

Lauren1x · 18/01/2018 19:51

I think it's perfectly fine, id use it!! I'm intrigued to know what the name is🙈

NachoFries · 18/01/2018 19:40

We agreed that no one can claim a name and whoever got there first could use this name.

From what you’ve written, I don’t think your friend will mind if you use the same name. Unless she’s the kind of person who says that she doesn’t mind, when actually she does? But even so, I think you should go for it. The fact that you still want to use it after your first child, shows that it’s still your favorite and you might regret it if you choose a different name. Who knows, when the baby is born, you and your partner might have a change of heart and decide that a completely different name suits him/her Easter Smile

WineCheeseSleep · 14/01/2018 23:21

Definitely use it, especially as you don't really see them that much. I'd only reconsider if it was a family member or a proper best friend you see all the time. I might mention it to the friend beforehand to explain. In balance it means much more that DC has a name you love for life than the potential momentary annoyance of a friend. I'd see it that way if I were your friend!

stellarfox · 14/01/2018 23:15

Use it. Just send her a message to tell her if you’re worried about it.

Seekingmiracles · 14/01/2018 19:53

Why not just ask. If she knows you like/liked it too and it's fairly recognisable I'm sure she'd be fine and if not then at least you know 😏

MrsNacho · 14/01/2018 19:13

Use it, her dc will likely be over the moon that you 'called your baby after her".

Brakebackcyclebot · 14/01/2018 19:11

FFS. Use the name. Nobody owns a name!

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 14/01/2018 19:08

Use it. T

PinkAvocado · 14/01/2018 19:07

I honestly wouldn’t mind if someone used the name we used. It’s a great name. I can’t think of any friends who’d mind either, especially as they’ll be different ages.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 14/01/2018 19:04

If it’s top 100, I’d definitely use it.

I’ve got a friend with a dc whose, (fairly common / popular), name I love. I’ve said to my friend that it’s on our long list for dc2, and she’s nothing but positive. Equally, if someone I know used my dc1’s name, it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest, as it’s top 100 and has been for decades.

I have to say though, that I am avoiding some names, as friends who don’t have any dc yet have said that’s what they’d like to name their future dc! That sounds a bit strange, now that I think about it, but the names I’m thinking of are a bit more unusual, so it would feel a bit weird for me to use them before my friends have a chance to iyswim.

Twickerhun · 14/01/2018 17:11

Use it

Enidblyton1 · 14/01/2018 17:05

Then I'd use it. Your child will be younger than your friend's child, so they'll mix in different circles anyway.

Original poster
user2085372673 · 14/01/2018 14:57

There isn't a variation of this. Our other daughter now has a very common name which we do love, but now finding another alternative for another child just seems a bit depressing when there is one we both love so much. Plus with two other kids, I now know so many babies the pool really is narrow if we are going to avoid everyone's names. It's tricky as people in your circle generally like the same names.

OP posts:
MammieBear · 14/01/2018 14:51

I would want to find a name no friend has used, there must be a name out there that's "new" for this baby that you can both agree on and love as much if not more. Have you thought of looking to see if there is a variation of the name you could use instead?

AnneOfCleavage · 14/01/2018 14:45

I think it's fine as the boys are different ages - may have been a bit weird if only few weeks apart but hey ho you / they don't own the name.

My DD has a totally uncommon but perfectly recognisable name that no one else has that we know and she is now a teen.
My best friends sister loved her name and would have loved it for her child but decided against it as we had it first - age gap would have been 5 years. I said it would have been fine but she went with something else as didn't want to copy us. We don't see them that much so it really would have been fine.

Sounds like this name isn't even half as unusual as DD's name so go for it.

raviolidreaming · 14/01/2018 14:31

Depends on the name. Depends on your relationship and personalities. Depends whether other people in your friendship group enjoy having something to gossip about / get het up about

Just ask her what she thinks.

Original poster
user2085372673 · 14/01/2018 14:28

It's not that common but everyone would have heard of it. A bit like Arabella, Penelope, Finn, Ryan etc. Top 100 but not mega popular.

OP posts:
MrsFoxPlus4 · 14/01/2018 14:22

Use it if it means that much to you

Motherofbabydragons · 14/01/2018 14:19

As PP said it really depends on the name itself imo

Enidblyton1 · 14/01/2018 14:18

If think It's definitely ok if the name is fairly common. If it's something like Esmeralda or Persephone I just wouldn't. There must be some very similar names to chose instead?

Thiswayorthatway · 14/01/2018 14:13

Use it, no-one owns a name

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