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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Naming a child's middle name after deceased relative

32 replies

Gemmamummy86 · 07/10/2017 16:26

Hi. I think my scenario might be pretty unique to some but just wondered what other mums think and whether my feelings are a bit harsh or not.
We already have a little girl and her middle name is Vida (female version of David) and means "life" after my dad passed away very young at only 51. We are now expecting a little boy and my husband has decided he would like Peter as a middle name after his dad. His dad is very much alive and whilst I love him as my father in law I can't help but think it detracts from what we chose to do with our little girl.
We want to find something meaningful as a middle name for him but I don't really like the name Peter and think it's a bit harsh on any relative we have that's alive as we haven't honored them!
What are your thoughts? Am I being unreasonable?

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ImListening · 07/10/2017 16:33

Of course YABU! You cannot name after one & not the other. Dead or alive.

BikeRunSki · 07/10/2017 16:32

Posted too soon...
.... it's still a lovely name, and meaningful to us.

Treat each child individually, for that is what they are.

BikeRunSki · 07/10/2017 16:31

Every family and baby is different. Calling a child after a deceased relative does not devalue the importance of other relatives!

My nephew has 2 middle names, named for relatives who died before he was born. He hates that his, in his words, "name is full of ghosts".
DS has two middle names, both after people who are still living. This has given him a particular closeness to them.
DD also has 2 middle names - one a traditional family girls name, one a place name. No deceased relatives. It's still a lovely name, a

0hCrepe · 07/10/2017 16:30

I think it would be a lovely gesture to have his middle name after his grandad and very appropriate. He is alive to appreciate it too.
My ds is named after my late brother and his middle names after his grandpas my dd has both grandmas' names for her middle names as do I. I'm sorry I can't see how it's not special.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 07/10/2017 16:29

I think it's fine, and fair for your dh. If it is we'll known that Vida is for David. Both grandfathers have been honoured. No one is left out.

BelleandBeast · 07/10/2017 16:29

Well he won't live forever will he?

YABU. Honour parents, dead or alive.

Emotionalweek · 07/10/2017 16:27

Yes yabu.

It doesnt detract at all.