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Original poster

Will we damage our child with an "out there" middle name?

54 replies

AlaskanSnow · 18/09/2017 15:53

We know we are having a DS. We've chosen the first name, which is in the top 30 of last years ONS, with a nice normal spelling.

We've not really decided on a middle name, neither of us want to use a family name as we only plan on having the one child so it seems unfair to pick from one side and not the other.

DH has come up with the idea of having (in his words) a spectacular middle name. Something uncommon that we weren't brave enough to use as a first name. On the list of names we loved but wouldn't use were Greek Gods, a constellation, a Shakespearean character, a historical figure and a couple of film/TV show characters.

All of these names did appear on the ONS list, so clearly they are being used as first names by some.

I just worry that DS could be embarrassed by it, despite the fact that we might think the name was great. DH doesn't think it is something to worry about - he himself had a common family middle name that he has always disliked, so thinks DS could hate whatever innocuous name we choose.
I love my middle name, it is relatively uncommon but still very much a name people know and it flows prettily with my first (boring) name.

Am I worrying too much? I mean DS could hate his perfectly reasonable first name for all I know!

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Dustbunny1900 · 21/09/2017 22:35

I wanted Saturn as my sons middle name (for reasons too complicated for anyone to care about) but didnt want to deal with possible embarrassment or eye rolls. So I gave him 2. A vanilla first middle name to be used more regularly, and then the second as Saturn.
I love it, and he's the only person with that full name .

My parents named me and my sisters painfully boring names (Louise and rose for middle names,,how original) so I wanted something with more personality

Mamabear4180 · 21/09/2017 21:30

Yes do it! I was considering leon Phoenix for a boy but now I'm edging more towards Ezra. Not sure if Ezra phoenix is a bit too much though? Anyway do it, I love Archer on your list.

TatianaLarina · 20/09/2017 18:33

Why not have a spectacular first name? I do and I love it. I'd hate to have a ordinary name.

All your list would be fine as a first names.

hockityponktas · 20/09/2017 18:31

Slightly different perspective here. I have 3 middle names. They are not completely out there as such but 2 are quite different, old fashioned and frankly horrible. Just to add they are "family" names.
I never went out of my way to tell anyone, but other children at school would ask or they would see them on the register and this would cause much hilarity.
I never ever use the worst two names, just stuck to one of them.
The only place that has my full name down now is the doctors and I go red with embarrassment every time I see it written down on my prescription or it pops up on the screen. It obviously just triggers something back to when I was a child and people laughed at my name.
Reading that written down, it seems very over the top I know but i can't help the feeling I get when I see or hear the names!
Just to clarify, I don't have other unresolved issues and am quite a strong minded, well rounded person really.

DiegoMadonna · 20/09/2017 18:15

Caleb is a perfectly normal, top 100 name.

Crabbo · 20/09/2017 18:08

I don't think any of those are weird at all, they definitely shouldn't raise any eyebrows. But then I do live somewhere with a fairly high number of Wolfies etc. I met a Marmaduke today.

Phillipa12 · 20/09/2017 17:47

I know a Wilberforce and a Hunter and a Caleb, hey my sil's middle name is Gordon 😃

AutumnalLeaves38 · 20/09/2017 17:44

Fizzy,

Wow. Well, can only hope that perhaps the lad in question will grow up confident and loving it himself (which he may well do, who knows?), styling it out because it suits him, and more than able to shut down any negative or teasing comments about it.

So much also depends on what's perceived as the 'norm' to people you're surrounded by/ circles you move in: I suppose if his friendship circle is full of similarly-named kids, maybe from more alternative/ creative families, then it's the "Johns" and "Jacks" who stand out and attract more attention?

Either that, or he decides only to answer to "Gerry", "Ron" or "Mo"!

FizzyGreenWater · 20/09/2017 14:00

Autumnal I remember a thread a while ago where OP had called her DS Geronimo as a FIRST name and was rather living to regret it I think - can't remember the details tho!

AutumnalLeaves38 · 20/09/2017 10:31

^ MikeUniformMike, even. Blush

AutumnalLeaves38 · 20/09/2017 10:29

MikeUniformMum,

Angel Delight!
Smile

Catwithglasses · 19/09/2017 22:16

My Dd has an unusual middle name; a handful of people know what it is and it really has no bearing on anything.

MikeUniformMike · 19/09/2017 21:46

Someone on another thread wanted to call her DD Angel. Now there's a name begging for the middle name Delight.

AutumnalLeaves38 · 19/09/2017 21:21

Well, everyday's a learning experience here on Mumsnet, isn't it?

Apparently, Richard Gere's MN is Tiffany, and Quincy Jones has the glory of Delight as his. Shock

howthelightgetsin · 19/09/2017 19:48

I don't think middle names matter at all. If you like yours you can use it, if not it doesn't matter. My middle name is fine, a bit meh... I don't think anyone at work would know it. Probably a third of my friends know it. DP on the other hand uses his as his first and last name as super common so for work and email etc purposes he uses three names.

nooka · 19/09/2017 19:21

My sister has a very very unusual middle name which she hates. It's not damaged her and she hasn't gone to the extent of changing it by deed poll but she never uses it and was very embarrassed by having to say it when she got married. As someone with a very unusual first name that I love I'm relatively pro interesting names (that are actual names, I don't like surnames, seasons or objects as names) but I do think parents should think carefully when picking names from obscurity.

bridgetreilly · 19/09/2017 18:35

Will we damage our child with an "out there" middle name?

No.

Original poster
AlaskanSnow · 19/09/2017 08:16

If we don't use Wilburforce for DS then I'm saving it for the next dog!

It's funny those don't seem too out there to some - but then we've started from the position of them being first names before we decided we are just too boring for that!

If we aren't going to damage him, then we'll go for one of our choices. I might go back through the list again to find one that flows nicely.

You've put my mind at rest, thank you!

OP posts:
Wenchelda · 19/09/2017 07:40

I know of 2 boys with fairly normal first names but both of their middle names are after Transformers! My first thought when I heard it was how cool! and no way would I have been brave enough to do it myself!

AutumnalLeaves38 · 19/09/2017 07:07

I'm all for imaginative and unusual names (within reason), but a word of caution re startlingly-different-to-first-and-surname middle names:

Felt so sorry for a teenage lad at my Dr's, clearly mortified by the sniggering which broke out when the electronic display announced to a packed waiting room that the next patient was Mr David Geronimo Smith*...

  • [Geronimo truly was his actual middle name: his First/ Surname were as commonplace and 'safe' as my "David" and "Smith" example].

It was the unexpected contrast that somehow drew more attention to it (maybe Copernicus Geronimo Bonnington-Fortescue might have stunned any mockers into silence!!).

Is it even possible for sensitive-natured souls to insist on use of middle name initial(s) only, in that sort of situation?

Sidenote:
Wonder if there'll be any baby boys named "Cormoran" suddenly appearing, in honour of Strike?

OP,
(Though Wilberforce is great, with the abolitionist connection) I really like Orion from your list. Smile

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 18/09/2017 20:07

My nephews and neice have unusual middle names

Think cartoon characters

Like micky mouse...minnie mouse Grin

TheLegendOfBeans · 18/09/2017 20:06

My DH and I are watching this thread with interest...due in 4 weeks and we have both first and middle names but yeah, the middle one is quite rare.

Not rare as in "Jay-Z" but rare as in "Victorian reformer".

abitoflight · 18/09/2017 20:04

Radio 4 program recently about people with ww1 battles as middle names - passed down through the years - teenage girl in there with middle name of passchendale!
Also apparently used to feminize battle names e.g Verduna,
I thought interesting

abitoflight · 18/09/2017 19:59

I wanted to do this
DH too much of a sensible chops
Wish I had just ignored him
I'd go for it given the chance again

ieatchocolate · 18/09/2017 19:51

I regret not giving ds2 the whacky middle name we had considered for him. When I updated his record when he started nursery (I applied before he was born), I genuinely had to get out the birth certificate to find out what his (really rather too dull) middle name was. I wouldn't have forgotten the one I wished I'd given him.

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