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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

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34 replies

laddie77 · 10/09/2017 13:11

Please help me I've got a 7 month old & I hate his name I can't think of anything else but how I hate it, my partners family will disown me if I change it, I feel guilt every second I just feel so low what should I do

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FizzyGreenWater · 10/09/2017 14:38

Do you want to say the names?

Firstly, it is NONE of your inlaws business. Have a talk to your H and say that you'd not for them to comment and any decision about name changes will be between you two from now on.

Secondly, yes of course you can change it. It's not cruel and it's not even unusual! People would get used to it pretty soon. A good way of doing it is to amend his birth certificate so that you give a new middle name. You could then start using that.

However, it does sound as if it might be more to do with potential pnd/anxiety. Definitely go to the doc! Not unusual at all, and they certainly won't medicate you so you're unable to think clearly - on the contrary, if it seems you do need anti-ds or anxiety medication, what it will do is help you START thinking clearly. Then you can maybe judge better whether you think the name is a genuine mistake or not!

But definitely tell your H that from now on this is between you two. If he can't respect that then you have more problems than the name issue!

Biscuitsneeded · 10/09/2017 14:31

It's OK to change your mind if you really don't like his name. But sometimes fixating on the name can be a sign of PND. Definitely talk to the GP. You've had a tough time so be kind to yourself.

Original poster
laddie77 · 10/09/2017 14:31

Thank you I'm going to my dr tomorrow 1st thing

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Algebraic · 10/09/2017 14:28

Laddie definitely see the GP and tell them how you feel. They can refer you to perinatal services. It's ok if you want to change the name but make sure that you want to and it's not just anxiety clouding the decision. I suffered very badly with anxiety post birth and I'm under perinatal at the moment who can definitely help. Flowers

Original poster
laddie77 · 10/09/2017 14:20

Yes he came 6 weeks early by c section it was all weird, I was in a bubble of love for a long time& now just feel the guilt of his name, I think I'm suffering some kind of depression or having a breakdown, I've tried out another name, my husbands parents say it's cruel to change his name though, let alone what everyone else is going to say about it, poor little baby he didn't ask for this , he's so perfect

OP posts:
Nomoresunshine · 10/09/2017 14:08

Could it be the name is reminding you of a shitty horrible time?
Have you tried using another name even just in your head?
Maybe ask your hv if there is someone who you can discuss the birth with.

Biscuitsneeded · 10/09/2017 14:06

You sound pretty traumatised. Was the early arrival very difficult for you? Did you feel bullied into choosing the name by your husband's family, or is it more that you picked a name in a fug of hormonal post-natal panic and you've now gone off it? Aside from regretting the name choice, are things OK OP?

Original poster
laddie77 · 10/09/2017 13:45

I liked it he came early & pregnancy hormones I though yeah that's so cool, I can't even say it I feel so bad, my husband likes it & thinks I'm a mad woman his family say I'm cruel if I change it, I find myself getting hysterical about it I'm going to the Drs tomorrow as my husband thinks I've gone mad maybe if they drug me up I'll like it, I'm so scared & feel so guilty, sorry to rant I think I needed to talk I feel so alone

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 10/09/2017 13:26

Did they pressurise you into using it?

You can change it up to a year.

If you want to share the name, that might be helpful as you could get some non-biased feedback on it, and maybe other names you might like.

How did he end up with his name- did you like it at first but have changed your mind? S it a name from his side of the family?

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