Baby due in a week and we still haven't sorted out a first name but will most likely be a French name as my DH is French and we live in a French speaking country. However I told DH that if the baby is a girl I would like her middle name to be my mother's (very English!) name. My mother died not so long ago and I want my child to have her name to honour her memory.
DH said absolutely no way unless his mother's name is there too. Now i like mil and we have a great relationship but she is very much alive and gets to spend so much time with our dc. My mum will never meet them; they will have no memories of her and I just wanted this baby to have something special to remember her maternal gm by. Putting mil's name there too just makes it all feel less special if that's clear. Not mention it becoming a bloody long name.
Fwiw I don't have DH's name so the dc already share their surname with mil but not my family. And DH and his siblings have no middle names so it's not like they're important to mil and their family.
I may be being selfish and probably overly emotional but I just feel let down by DH - I have no mum and I just wanted to honour her memory in a special way but he said it's either both names or nothing.