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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Baby name 'regret' - 6 months old

87 replies

CyrilSneer30 · 01/07/2017 23:00

Hi all,

I have a gorgeous 6 month old called Caspar Felix. During the entire pregnancy he was going to be named Felix Caspar, but as he arrived on Christmas Day we decided to swap the names. Ever since, I've been unsure on his name - I hate the looks and the 'that's...unusual!' comments I get whenever I introduce him, and I wish so much I'd stuck with what I wanted when he was born and called him Felix. Honestly, I think I'm holding a massive grudge against DH for forcing me to decide on his name when I was clearly not in a state to do so (EMCS) and also felt a bit railroaded as I was aware that quite a few members of my family disliked the name Felix. Thinking back to the few days post birth I was in such a daze, I just went along with what other people wanted.

I do like the name Caspar, and think if I already had a Felix I would be happy to use it for another son IYSWIM? I'm just worried I'm becoming a bit obsessive about it. DH won't even entertain changing his name now. I guess I just wanted to ask - which do you all prefer? I'm not sure whether I want to keep making a fuss to make DH consider changing it, asby 6 months I feel that it is now his name and not mine to change.

Huge apologies for the rambling post, I just feel a bit dismissed every time I mention this to anyone IRL but to me it's important and I think about it most days. Help!

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ShowOfHands · 02/07/2017 08:31

Caspar is an awesome name and a country mile better than Felix.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 02/07/2017 08:26

I really like the name Caspar!

If you are unhappy though OP I personally don't think it's odd for you to use his middle name as his given name. Saying that though, I have a lot of people in my family who are known by their middle name so perhaps I'm odd Wink

sexcauldron · 02/07/2017 08:26

Sorry but Caspar is a ghost and Felix is a cat. I really don't like either name.

TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 02/07/2017 08:21

In what country is Caspar an unusual name? The most common spelling (Kacper) is top 200 in England and Wales. People who think it's unusual clearly don't get out much.

Besides it's lovely as is Felix but I think I slightly prefer Caspar

Original poster
CyrilSneer30 · 02/07/2017 07:57

Thank you all for taking the time to reply! Unfortunately pickerel I think you've hit the nail on the head - the more I think about it my feelings are probably connected to how the name came about as opposed to the name itself. Felix also had wonderful connotations to me so I'm just gutted I didn't get to use it.

Caspar isn't my first (we do shorten to Cas which I also think is a pretty cool NN), but I absolutely adore DS1's name so think it's partially also guilt that I haven't been able to bestow a name I feel the same about!

Much as they're both lovely names I am surprised so many of you prefer Caspar to Felix - as I've said though I think my feelings towards the name are massively biased due to the connotations it has for me. As some of you have said it's probably me being overly sensitive to the comments about it being unusual!

OP posts:
Therealslimshady1 · 02/07/2017 07:47

I know 2 Caspers (Hants village) , they don't get teased (what for?! ), one is Polish and one English.

Lovely name, a bit unusual but not weird or made up. And international!

TheBakeryQueen · 02/07/2017 07:46

I prefer Caspar too!

It's lovely, and agree with the other posters that Cas is a fab nickname.

Unusual is a good thing, I doubt people are commenting negatively.

I wonder why you've picked up on the one poster who said they didn't like it when everyone else said they do?

How are you feeling generally other than worrying about your baby's name?

user1466690252 · 02/07/2017 07:40

is he your first? both mine have unusual names that I love but I did have a wobble about them being picked on in school. then they started school with an array of other unusually named children and I realise that nowadays it's relatively normal to have an unusual name and the kids don't care at all. Caspar is a beautiful name and not on the ridiculous scale at all

Eminybob · 02/07/2017 07:39

I much prefer Casper. Felix is a cats name.

I went to school with a Kaspar and he was one of the loveliest people I've ever met. That's the connotation for me so it's all good.

Pickerel · 02/07/2017 07:36

I think this is less about which is the nicer name, and more about you resenting DH for influencing your decision when you were at a vulnerable time and refusing to let you change your mind afterwards. I think it will be hard for you to learn to love the name Caspar in these circumstances.

I think you need to have a serious chat with DH about this. Not about the names but about how you feel about his behaviour.

Oldgranny · 02/07/2017 07:33

Caspar is a ghost !

Wheresthattomoibabber · 02/07/2017 07:33

I work in a primary school and have NEVER heard anyone get teased about their name. It just does not happen any more - I remember it happening when I was at primary school but there is such a huge variety of names now that nothing seems weird! There's a Caspar in the class I work in. He's gorgeous.

DrSpin · 02/07/2017 07:33

I'm regretting my DS's name, for what it's worth, he is 7 months. It's such a big decision and names are so loaded. You also get so many reactions to your babies name when you tell people - it's easy to doubt your choice.

I like your sons name.

Oldgranny · 02/07/2017 07:33

My dgs is Felix x

chalkyc2 · 02/07/2017 07:33

Do you ever shorten it to Cass or Cassy? We considered Casper, but it didn't go well with our surname, and ended up with Cassius - we often shorten it to Cass and I still love it....

Bluntness100 · 02/07/2017 07:28

Casper is a fine name. Felix, I'm sorry, reminds me of cats.

errorofjudgement · 02/07/2017 07:23

Kasper is also a popular Polish name judging by my DDs school friends. There are a couple in her Year group at secondary school.
(Also in Wiltshire if that helps)

Footle · 02/07/2017 07:07

I know a small Kasper with Scandi heritage. I'd have loved to use it for one of my sons but it was a bit close to another name in the family. Felix is a bit boring to me.

Do you have much contact with children , and schools? Caspar really isn't any sort of 'out there' weird and unusual name. You've made a great choice.

WowserBowser · 02/07/2017 06:51

*haven't heard of

WowserBowser · 02/07/2017 06:50

I like both names. I find people can be really unimaginative with names.

People are probably just surprised it's not a cutesified version of an old man name.

Which ever name you go with you have to have more confidence with. They really aren't that unusual. They aren't names people have heard of. As for school, kids don't give a shit what anyone is called.

Lovegaultier · 02/07/2017 06:46

I prefer Caspar too. I don't know why people are reacting to it.

I don't like Felix at all and I just think of the little black and white cat.

ApplesOranges · 02/07/2017 06:40

Caspar is much nicer than Felix in my opinion

NosyJosey · 02/07/2017 06:36

Generations have been known by their middle names. Don't worry it's too confusing if it hasn't caused problems for the last few hundred years or more.

Both are 'different' names as you put it, and your family didn't like Felix either, so I suspect we would be having this conversation even if you didn't change it at xmas.

They are both unusual, but probably becoming more popular and I suspect if you hold on, in a few years there will be loads of them in class with your future younger children, but Casper will be the only one in his year IYKWIM.

Neither name is for me I'm afraid, but I have ridiculous guidelines over what I would name a child. Your choice, but neither is a made up name, so people should keep their negative opinions to themselves.

OrdinaryGirl · 02/07/2017 06:24

Adding my voice to those who've said Caspar is a lovely name! Lots of wise thoughts on this thread. How are you feeling about it now OP?

GinIsIn · 02/07/2017 06:16

I like Caspar! Are you sure people are actually being rude about it or are you a bit sensitive because you feel unsure about your choice? Saying a name is unusual doesn't mean someone hates it or is mocking it, for example.

I think if it's really upsetting you, you could change it, but it all depends on your son - does he know his name? My DS is only 18 weeks and already responds to his so I wouldn't want to confuse him by changing it.

When we chose his name I was newly pregnant, and it wasn't in the top 100. During my pregnancy it shot into the top 50. Our other choice was very popular in the area we lived in and we didn't know any with our first choice so we went with it. We moved towards the end of the pregnancy. Turns out the name we gave him is MEGA-popular here and he will be the 6th at his nursery. It doesn't matter though - it's his name, it suits him, and I'm not changing it now, even though it does rub me up the wrong way a bit.