Why do so many people choose the same names?

I think it's a shame when parents rule out a name they love, just because it's 'too popular', because what does it really matter? Who cares if your son is (using the #1 boy's name here in the States) one of however many Noahs born in a year, because to you he's the only Noah that matters?!

The list of names DH and I have for DD (due July) is all over the place in terms of usage. Some are popular, others are in steady use but not used in huge numbers, and others are pretty rare. Every name on our list we love, their popularity isn't a factor.

The only names we have actively try to avoid, are 'trendy' names, which come to into fashion rapidly, but then fall out of fashion just as quickly, and therefore date easily. DH has once such name, which suddenly became hugely popular in the 70s and 80s (here in the States), but then fell out of favor rapidly. It is now one of the stereotypical 70s/80s 'jock' names in the US, and DH hates it, and professionally he uses his perennially popular classic middle name.

Because some people know and don't care.

Or because they think they are being original but are subconsciously being shaped by the same fashions as everyone else. I call this the 'Lily and Noah phenomenon'. Usually these are names that are inherently nice sounding. So why is Claire (an inherently nice sounding name) not popular now as it was in the 70s)? Because people got bored of it and associated it with their own generation and that didn't fit what they wanted for the DCs. Why did people not choose Noah before the 2010s? Because it's inherently nice sounding but only the more daring parents would go there due to the ark connection. Once that was broken by more and more Noahs, it became an option.

I disagree with it being down to celebrities. If that were true, why don't we see lots of teenage Davids? (Beckham) or Brooklyns? We do see a lot of girls called Ava- a typical celeb's choice for their daughters, but relatively safe, pretty and not too out there and with no disliked abbreviations ('Dave'). Actually celebrities are influenced by the same trends as us.

A lot of it is sounds. Hence lots of boy's names ending in 'o' and girls' names containing the letter 'l' in recent few years. It was totally predictable that Arlo would be the next big thing- it has the initial 'A of Archie and Alfie, and the final 'O' of names like Leo, Milo etc.

I agree with you. I love thr name Olivia but it was the first most popular name when DD was born so I chose a totally different one. She would have been one of three in her class now!
I gree up being one of three in my class and always wished for a different name. I gave DD a name that is very unusual (french) but the short for it is common/popular so she can choose whatever she wants.
Then again some friends of us called their DS Jack after his hrandad and they did not care how popular it is.

It has nothing to do at all with wanting to stand out or blend in!

It is simply a practical issue of having a name that actually identifies you (without having to add a y initial or other adjective).

And a less trendy name avoids being associated with a particular era (e.g. Sarah or Sharon in the 70s or Evie and Ella in the 2010s etc).

I love my (fairly uncommon) name and have never ever even thought about 'fitting in' less or 'standing out' more because of it. I want to be known for who I am and people to associate me when they hear my name.

Names are generally popular either because they are lovely, classic names, or because they become trendy due to a film, TV show, celebrity baby etc. As others have said, if you haven't really been around young children before having your own, you won't know what names are popular unless you are the kind of person who studies the top 100 lists. Most people don't do this and just choose a name because they like it.

My DD has a 'classic' name that was top 10 until recently. Its popularity bothered me a bit, but it had been my favourite girls' name since childhood so we went with it anyway. She is the only one in her nursery with the name so far.

Some people just want their children to blend in with the crowd and not stand out. Especially people who were bullied at school for being 'different'.

I chose the name I liked best for each of my children...they are all quite popular but particularly my son's....I wouldn't pick a name just because it wasn't popular and compromise in what I like best...

There was a thread yesterday about boys names and somebody said Luke wasn't that popular...there are 4 in my son's class of 11 boys (he's 7) and only 1 Oliver, 1 Thomas & 1 Jack in the whole year (60 boys)...so sometimes it doesn't work as you think and I think if the sole reason for naming a child is so there's only 1 in their class then you might well be disappointed!

Because everyone is influenced by the same fashions and trends without even realising it.
How many times do you see someone saying 'we had never heard of the name when we named our dc then three years later he was one of five in the same class?'
-because everyone thinks they are being original but they are influenced in the same ways as everyone else!

I was talking about this recently and I think part of it is because a lot of women have their first babies at similar ages, so the cultural influences they would have had growing up will have been similar. For example, when I was at uni, I always said I would call and daughters Matilda or Tabitha. They were quite unusual back then and are now quite popular.

There is also something I read on here about names starting out higher on the social scale and working their way down to my sort of level (I am not, in anyway upper class). This sort of fits with my experience IRL; of the few people I know, who are from backgrounds which I would say are on the upper side of middle class, many of them are adults called things which are now popular among children; e.g. Toby, Charlie, Tilly, Clara, Flora, Sofia, Daisy, Lily and Isabelle.

Also, a lot of people like to honour their gps / older relatives by using their names. I know some people who say they chose names like Lily, Alfie or May in honour of their GPs. I think that can trigger a bit of a trend.

I actually don't get the big fuss about names and choosing ones that are unusual or unique. I just don't think it's as important as people make it seem. Picking a name which suits some kind of projected personality you want for your child is pretty pointless as you have no idea how they'll turn out.

I agree that when parents have their first they're out of the 'baby loop' and just don't know how popular names are. A colleague called her first born 'Noah' a couple of years ago. She had heard someone call their kid it in a shop, thought it was lovely and unusual (hardly any Noah's when we were growing up). It was only when her DS was born that she realised it is really popular at the moment. She still loves it though, and that's what matters.

I wasn't too worried about popularity but was keen to choose a name that wasn't too 'of its time' and potentially dating. So DS has a very classic name that was popular 50 years ago and will probably be popular in 50 years time. I can understand how others would think that was a bit boring though but we love it!

Choosing names is like a lot of things - you either want to make yourself stand out via your choices, or you don't.

There have been studies into this - someone mentioned Freakonomics earlier. In their study of America, it was found that African Americans in particular liked unique names and a high percentage had totally unique names, because they had basically made them up or adapted existing names into new names. The study also looked at the links between name choices and socio-economic affluence. Choice of unique names was associated with less affluent groups.

Several posters on here have asked the opposite question - why would people want to choose an unusual name or one with an unusual spelling. I guess people want to draw attention to their child and choose to do it through their name. Other people don't want top draw attention via this route or hope their child will be noticed because of other attributes. It seems to me that people have quite strong feelings about this topic - to either stand out and be special/unique or whatever you want to call it, or to not draw attention to oneself or ones child. People with very ordinary names often have quite unusual nicknames - perhaps the best of both worlds - the grown up sensible name for when that's needed, plus the individualised name for times when that might be appropriate too.

I was born in the 80s and my name is Sarah. Call your child that now, they'd be no others on their class.....unlike me at my all girls school where there were 3 just in my class!

I pretty much always have another Sarah around but even though it's common for my generation I love my name!

One of my best friends has a not so common name and when we discussed baby names she said she'd much prefer a common name like mine whereas I had always fancied a less common one so just go with whatever you love for your children!

It's like 'arlo' - I bet people naming their babies thought it was pretty unique and I actually know 3 Now!
Just go with a name you love whether it's popular or not

Names can often be very regional too. So just because a name is in the top 10 for England it doesn't mean it will be one of the most popular in all regions of the country.

The thing is though there is no way if really judging how many in a class there will be.

14y Dd has a popular name but the slightly less popular spelling. Only this year she has shared a class with someone with the same name (different spelling) and it took until she was 11 to be another in her school. And although I teach I've only taught a small handful over the years.

Whereas in one class I have taught there are two 6y children called Clementine. I bet their parents 6 years ago didn't envisage that. I know it's more popular now but far less so back then.

As others say you often can't tell.

We chose a name for DD which was outside the top 50 and which we didn't know any other children or babies with, but moved house when she was 1.5 and unknowingly moved to an area where her name might as well mean "girl" as there are so many of them, and discovered after a week that a little girl 5 months older than her lived next door and another a year older about 6 houses down! The next door one was indeed in her class at primary, though they've gone to a different secondary and dd is the only one in her class there. There are still girls her age with her name all over the area though - we had no idea when she was born!

I also dislike my relatively unusual name and it travels very badly so being "unique" isn't all that great!

'Unusual' names are hard to spell?! Most normal but not fashionable names are very straightforward to spell and pronounce.

Top 10/50/100 lists are a bit rubbish though. Look at the name Lily. You're understating how popular it is because of all the Lilys, Lillys, Lillies and then all the Lily/Lilly/Lillie-Mai/Mae or whatever.
Personally I like classic names. My son has a classic name and it's popular now but it has been very popular again and will come in and out of the top 20 but will always be top 50, so I don't think it wil overly date. My own name is also a classic and has been a top 10 for a while now, there are a lot of little girls with my name. But it's also not weird on a 30-something or a 70-something either. I like that. And honestly, sometimes names are just eternally popular because they're nice!

There are issues I think with some unusual names:

• people not knowing how to spell them
• names they even though not super popular still sound "faddy". Think of a name like Elsie. It might not be top 10 now but will certainly be a name for babies now (and very old women) only.

I was really surprised when my DD1 started at nursery, and the only names that there were two of in her class were Florence and Milo. There were no Harrys or Georges and only one William and a single Isobel.

I bet there's no way the mum of a Florence (11 years ago) would have thought it would become so popular!

Popular names are popular because they are nice
I disagree. Popular names are popular because they are popular. There are thousands of nice names. The ones at the top of the list don't stand out as particularly beautiful IMO.

because they don't feel 'brave' enough
I felt brave but DH didn't

And the argument that 'popular names are popular because they're nice' - yes everyone suddenly finds them nice which leads to them becoming trendy, which in turn leads to overuse and them eventually becoming 'dated'.

I agree with you, op.

Many people choose fashionable names for their children because they don't feel 'brave' enough to choose a less trendy one that's outside the top 100. It's like with fashion, people want to 'fit in' by wearing the same 'trendy' clothes as everyone else.

I prefer classic but not overused / trendy names. There are literally hundreds of beautiful names that are neither Evie nor Honeybee - there IS a happy medium of normal names that just aren't fashionable and overused.

I wish someone would do a study on why names are popular.

My neighbour's daughter, now 6, was named Amelia, I was surprised as I'd not known anyone with the name, and I didn't particularly love it. But each to their own. Then discovered that it is near the top of most popular!?
What makes a name rise in popularity? No one in my era was Amelia. But where did it come from, I feel someone must have had the name in a popular book or tv for it to be noticed in the first place. Likewise Mia, the only Mia I knew was Mia Farrow. But wrong generation for now.