Baby name etiquette

Definitely stick with Vincent for your DS and always refer to hers as Vinne2

Whatever you do, call your ds Vinny after your grandad and uncle. What she does is up to her.

How rude of her

I'd say stick with Vinny. Anyone at the school who realises they're cousins will assume it's a family name as it's not unusual for loads of family members to have the same name

She's not being very nice is she?
Years ago I told a friend of dh what I would call our ds if we ever had a ds.
His wife was pregnant at the time and he had said they were struggling for a name.
The name we had decided on was unusual then, I had liked it since seeing an American film in my childhood.
The name was totally different from this friends ds1s name.
I didn't know anyone else with that name.
Anyhow when their ds2 was born guess what they called him?

I was fuming and when I had my own ds decided not to use it as I felt they had stolen it, sounds crazy I know. Their ds was regarded by all our friends as a naughty child so the name was tainted for me.
My dh did tell his friend that he had used our preferred name and we did consider the name, but every time someone mentioned their child it was in a negative way.
I'm not sure what I'd do in your position ex rot for never go fifi g in your cousin again.

Great name. Stand firm. Don't put anything passive aggressive on fb makes you look about 12. Tell those that matter the truth and crack on.

Likely one will end up vince and the other vinnie!

No one will think you copied her- you're naming him after your relatives.
Each time someone mentions her chosen name comment that she didn't seem to like the name when you told her you were naming your baby that.
I'd be upfront and actually ask her what made her change her mind.

My sister was at school with two cousins with the same first name (different surname) - same school year, same class. People did comment on it but it wasn't a huge deal and the girls got on fine afaik.

Reply to the message with -" how cool, my Vinnie will have a minnie Vinnie cousin!"

Stick to your guns then OP, you'll regret it otherwise.

Where I live Vincent is not a common name at all (it's on my list for my baby so I've done my homework!), so I would have to assume she's been 'inspired' (to put it nicely) by your choice, which is a bit shit.

I would still use the name and when you announce it I would emphasise that it's after grandad and uncle Vince. Your baby will be here first anyway and when he is, she might very well have second thoughts on the name.

This is why I keep my name ideas to myself or just ask advice on here!

That's scandalous OP! She's clearly stolen the name from you! I would be so upset if this happened to me. My SIL and I are both due our first babies (both boys) in July and I'm terrified she might pick the same name as us - she's due a few weeks before me. We have to pick Arabic/Islamic names so it's a slightly limited selection pool but I'm soooo attached to the name we have chosen and I'll be mortified if she goes for it too.

You chose the name first and you actually have sentimental reasons behind it; I don't agree with anyone telling you to find another name or move it to the middle name, because you shouldn't have to adjust your meaningful plans to accommodate a name thief!!!

The best thing is that you are due before her, so definitely make it very clear to people about your family connections to the name as soon as you welcome little Vinny to the world. Surely they will be able to put two and two together and realise who came up with the name first, and who had the most significant reason to use it!

Yup. Refer to her baby as Vinny the Second, Vincent II (is that a pope?) or Vince Junior

You can see exactly how this is going to play out, when you call your DS Vinny. She's going to make out to everyone that you copied.

So as of this revelation wasn't annoying enough, there will be a second blow to come when you reveal your name (at what should be a happy, celebratory time).

You either need to decide on a new name (no matter how much you know you chose
It first, it will appear to everyone else like you copied), or you need to do exactly as Fartniss suggested. And soon!

Depends how much you love and want the name.

Yes I love that Fartniss!

I would just have acted really excited on fb and made sure I posted so all her friends could see.

"Oh wow, another Vinny! Mine is due first but I don't mind you sharing it winky face although I'm surprised you didn't mention it to me when I told you we were going to use it! Oh well, can't wait for Vinny version 2! How funny that you chose the same name as me! Lol"

I would really have rubbed it in as well, like minnemagoo says. Posts about 'the other Vinny xx' with her tagged so all her friends see it etc

Passive aggressive, moi?

I would normally say use it anyway but not if going to be in same class at school as cousins with the same first name and surname. Use it as a middle name and find another lovely name for his first name. You can tell her that you were going to use it anyway but your friends all agreed it was like a 'mafia name' as she said so you went right off it. (Once her baby is called it)

I also like minnemagoo's advice about referring to her baby as Vinny number 2 or something similar but I don't know if that would just cause more trouble!

This would really upset me if I was in your shoes! I would be really reluctant to change the name you had your heart set on, especially as your baby is due first. In case she is stubborn and sticks with Vinny, could you perhaps spell it Vinnie just so there is a slight difference?

That's horrible OP. I'd advise you to take the high road and find another name for your DS. Make Vinny/Vincent his middle name though.

Maybe she is hoping, that you will choose a different name.
Stick to your guns OP, she may well change her mind, when your DS comes along.

Its very possible if you do call your DS Vinny that she will change her mind and spend months being a martyr because yiu stole her name.

See I'd post something like
'Our Vinny isn't even here yet and he already has a follower!' and spend the rest of the time referring to her 'second Vinny'.
But yes it's probably best to take the high road and not react.
Go ahead and use the name, if anyone comments then you can say how you were using the name first and the reasons.