Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Partner won't even discuss my No. 1 choice

60 replies

user1486667116 · 09/02/2017 19:15

I'm not even pregnant yet, we are trying, but we were chatting about baby names. I always loved the name Peregrine either for a boy or a girl. I know it's a boy's name, but I think it would be nice as a girl's name too. I'm obviously not dead set on this, very much up for discussion and have some other names I like too, but my partner wouldn't even consider it. He just says that it's a stupid name.

My question is, is it really that stupid? I'm basically trying to counter his 'it's stupid' argument with 'but other people think it's nice too'.

I have some other, more common names I like too, so I'm sure we will be able to agree on something. Smile

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 09/02/2017 21:41

There's no discussion to be had. If either of you hate a name, then it needs to be vetoed. If I got all upset whenever DH thought my suggestions were crap, I'd be upset all the time.

selfishcrab · 09/02/2017 21:07

I was given a 'unusual' name.
I hated it when growing up, I still hate it, I've changed my name to something that I find I don't have to repeat every time I say my damn name.
I really do dislike this need for having a unusual name, it singles you out and I was teased about mine!

CactusFred · 09/02/2017 21:05

It's an awful name and if he doesn't like it he doesn't like it!

You both need to agree on a name as you'll be making the baby together!

reuset · 09/02/2017 21:01

My question is, is it really that stupid?

Yes it is. It's either very old aristocracy or a Middle Earth character.

PurpleDaisies · 09/02/2017 19:48

Getting pregnant isn't a given. Why don't you wait until you've definitely got a baby to name first? Confused

For what it's worth, there would be some names that would get an instant veto from me, and I'm sure dh feels the same about others. There's no point discussing further if something's a definite no. Peregrine is a marmite name. I can understand him hating it.

SuperBeagle · 09/02/2017 19:47

I don't like it, sorry, OP. Sad

FWIW, I automatically vetoed my DH's favourite name: Enzo. It sounds like a cleaning agent. I couldn't have it. There was no room for negotiation. However, we also chose (albeit together) not to use my favourite girl's name.

strawberrypenguin · 09/02/2017 19:44

But he has discussed it. You said you like it, he said he doesn't. End of discussion I'm not sure what else you want him to say

greeeen · 09/02/2017 19:44

That name usually gets a hard time on here so I don't think you'll get the responses you want but I know two (both boys) and I really like it on both of them. I don't personally think it works for a girl.

vitaminC · 09/02/2017 19:42

I'm not a huge fan of Peregrine, but I've known a few people called Perry, both male and female, which I quite like for either sex.

It's moot, though, if your husband doesn't like it. Baby naming is all about compromise, IME, and often neither parent gets to use his/her favourite name, but end up agreeing on one that is acceptable to both.

FellOutOfBed2wice · 09/02/2017 19:40

It is what it is. Some names you like for years and your partner hates them/it doesn't go with surnames/a celebrity has the name or uses it and they're a twat. Fwiw neither of my children have the names I loved growing up- but their names are ones me and DH came up with together and I love them just as much, if not more, than the names I thought they'd have when I was 15.

Original poster
user1486667116 · 09/02/2017 19:38

@likeacrow thanks! we both think that it's better to discuss this sooner rather than later. We both know that we have plenty of time to decide, but it's good to weed out the definite no-nos now. I was just a bit surprised by his strong comment. But he did just apologise.

OP posts:
BobbieDog · 09/02/2017 19:35

I ve never heard of this name.

You can choose a perfectly great name that everyone will of heard of but isnt very popular.

Names that were on my list which imo arent very popular were...

Rosanna
Savannah
Susannah
Kayla
Layla

Oly5 · 09/02/2017 19:35

My DH also hated my first choice name and I just had to accept it. You wouldn't let him name the child something you hated would you?
For what it's worth, I think it's an awful name. Sorry

ExpectoPatronummmm · 09/02/2017 19:33

Sorry but Peregrine is a shocking name for a child.

Original poster
user1486667116 · 09/02/2017 19:32

@Floggingmolly we weren't arguing, we were having a chat when it came up.

OP posts:
Batteriesallgone · 09/02/2017 19:30

Two issues here:

  1. he's been rude to you by saying it's 'stupid' which is unnecessary. He shouldnt be belittling you

  2. he doesn't like it which is fair enough.

It's not about proving to him whether or not the name is stupid, that's totally subjective anyway. It's about asking him not to be rude to you and have a sensible discussion

NerrSnerr · 09/02/2017 19:30

With unusual names both partners have to be really on board. We are expecting and will veto names straight away if don't like them and then we won't suggest it again. To be honest my choices have changed from when I was ttc- I think once there's actually a real baby to name things change.

likeacrow · 09/02/2017 19:30

Don't let people tell you you're weird for having this convo before the event OP. I do shit like this all the time!

Ohyesiam · 09/02/2017 19:30

To me it sounds like a label not a name. I guess Peri is ok, but the full name will always be lurking in the background, waiting for the bullies to pounce.

Floggingmolly · 09/02/2017 19:28

It's a ridiculous name for anybody a girl. It sounds like a 1940's bank clerk with a hand knitted cardigan and a comb over. And you're being very, very previous; arguing about names before you're even pregnant.
Go to the pub and calm down.

likeacrow · 09/02/2017 19:28

OP my DH and I had a similar conversation before I was even pregnant in which he vetoed my no1 girl's name choice: Cherry. I still think it's super cute but it's not to be sadly.

PaddlingFuriously · 09/02/2017 19:28

Reminds me of lord of the rings! Peregrine Took, aka Pippin.

Original poster
user1486667116 · 09/02/2017 19:28

I'm guessing we will be going the Olivia/Mathilda/Isabella/Eva route for girls. We both like all 4 of those.

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 09/02/2017 19:28

There is no point pushing this kind of thing. You have loads of time to find something else.

It may grow on him as time goes on, but not if you push it!

Jooni · 09/02/2017 19:27

I quite like it in theory (for a boy only) but I do see his point and I'd imagine it's a very "love or hate" kind of a name. He's clearly in the "hate it" camp, so why even discuss it?

Perhaps if you have to compromise on a first name he likes, you could push for Peregrine in the middle? I think it's perfect middle name material - you can afford to go a bit further "out there" in the middle I think without embarrassing/inconveniencing the child!