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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Name coincidence or too creepy

36 replies

octonuddle · 21/12/2016 07:01

We have a family friend who has 3 daughters, all grown up. When we had DD, DH and I both loved a particular name that happened to be the same name as one of the family friend's daughter. It is a lovely traditional name that is not very common (not in top 100 but very recognisable). They were delighted we picked the same name and made a big fuss of DD.

So, now we are due number 2 - if it is a girl, we love a name which goes beautifully with DD1 name - and you might have guessed...happens to be the same name as one of family friend's other daughter.

Would that just be too much?! Creepy right? It is not deliberate! She just happens to have outstanding taste in names! What would you think if you were family friend?

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SorenaJ · 21/12/2016 13:44

Not creepy. You can do that. You're not super close, and the daughters are all grown up. You just have the same taste in names.

My mum's best friend named her DS2 the same as my brother, we are together often, and they just go by middle names as well then, for example Harry James and Harry Matthew. It's not a problem.

1horatio · 21/12/2016 13:36

I personally don't think it's very creepy, tbh.

1horatio · 21/12/2016 13:35

Seeing as you aren't particularly close and didn't know for DD1...

I think you should simply ask her.

Maybe she thinks it's lovely and perfectly fine... and in this case it would be a total 'waste' of a name to scratch it off your list.

septembersunshine · 21/12/2016 11:25

I would use it. You are not really connected to them and wouldn't normally see them. Don't think it's a huge problem. We have friends who has a dd then ds (We both had used the same names before we knew each other). We had a third child, dd, and they very nearly used the same name again has us for dd. They didn't in the end but it sounds very similar! We just laugh about it

stillwantrachelshair · 21/12/2016 09:59

Oh yes, now you mention it, I know a few William & Alexanders two of whom have Katherine as a sister!

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 21/12/2016 09:10

Thats true still, we know quite a few families with William and Alexander as siblings

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 21/12/2016 09:08

Well now I don't think it's as creepy. I'd maybe mention it to your aunt though to pass on if you do decide to use the second name.

stillwantrachelshair · 21/12/2016 09:08

Absolutely fine. Some name sets just seem to go together. I know three lots of sisters called Charlotte & Isabelle, two lots called Elizabeth & Alexandra and three lots of brothers called Ben & James. Two mum's of the Ben & James sets know each other slightly &, when I told the one who had already had a third child that the other was pregnant with a third child she joked that the other mum wouldn't have to worry about picking a name as it had already been chosen.
If the names were very different (by which I don't mean something like calling siblings Dulcie & Xanthe as it is clear with both than you have gone for traditional but uncommon names but calling one sibling a traditional name like Anna or Elizabeth and the other something like Rainbow then it works raise an eyebrow).
My brother & I have common 70s names (think Joanna & Simon) & I know my mum loved meeting other sibling sets with the same name as she seemed to think it vindicated her choice.

Footle · 21/12/2016 08:31

HoHo, so did they know her name and use it on purpose, or was it coincidental ? If they knew it, that's very touching.

BadToTheBone · 21/12/2016 08:31

Now you've explained, they aren't family friends, they're just someone you vaguely know, not so weird. I'd use.

HoHoHammered · 21/12/2016 08:28

Yes that's a bit too coincidental.

My mum was estranged from her 2 half brothers before she born.

She finally got back in touch with them a few months ago and was a bit weirded out to find out both brothers had children with her name

For example mums names Alexandra*

Brothers daughter is Alexandra
Other brothers son is Alexander

*not real names

Nickname1980 · 21/12/2016 08:25

Ok now that you've explained - as PP said - it's not as bad. I'd still try and find something new though.

I like the suggestion of another PP who said ask her for other name ideas she didn't use. She has the same taste as you, after all!

SatsukiKusakabe · 21/12/2016 08:22

Now you've explained the connection...I don't think it would seem creepy as you're not that close and didnt really know her that well when you named your dd.

I'd revise my opinion to look at others as I'd still prefer to find my "own name" but if you can't find something you love I don't think it's as out of the question as it first seemed.

Chelazla · 21/12/2016 08:07

I think it crazy not to use it personally!

Chelazla · 21/12/2016 08:06

My friend and I at work both had two kids with the same names and we thought it was quite sweet! Then when she got married came back to work and her new surname... Same as mine! I think it's fine if kids are grown up and they don't mind x

Original poster
octonuddle · 21/12/2016 08:05

Mumsnet has spoken! Thanks for your comments...we will definitely remove it from the list!

In defence, the family friend is a lady that goes to church with my elderly aunt so we are not exactly close. We didn't know her daughters names when we named our first DD and after she found out she sent a lovely card and gift. The second name we both loved and I thought it was familiar...I asked my aunt and she told me it was her eldest daughters name! So may have been subliminal...either way we wont use it!

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 21/12/2016 08:03

Creepy

Lunar1 · 21/12/2016 08:02

Really creepy!

SausageSoda · 21/12/2016 08:02

Doing it once, fine. Doing it twice is odd and very creepy. There are millions of names in the world, surely you can find another that you like?

DollyPlastic · 21/12/2016 08:01

Creepy

SatsukiKusakabe · 21/12/2016 08:00

There are so many other names, I'd feel really embarrassed choosing exactly the same twice. They reacted well the first time, and that's nice, but don't push it.

Why not ask her to make you some suggestions? There might be some she didn't use that you love.

lovelearning · 21/12/2016 07:56

She just happens to have outstanding taste in names!

octonuddle, tell her that.

What would you think if you were family friend?

octonuddle, ask for her opinion.

Pluto30 · 21/12/2016 07:53

No, it'd be weird. There are lots of other names to choose from. Smile

Nickname1980 · 21/12/2016 07:52

Definitely strange! I agree with the previous posters - pick another name!

Stormwhale · 21/12/2016 07:51

No sorry, that is just weird.

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