Just interested to know something.

sugarplumfairy28 · 2016-12-02T16:51:34+00:00

Why do people choose a (usually in my experience) a longer 'normal' name with no intention of ever using it to justify a nickname? I just can't seem to wrap my head ahead it.

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KitNeutron · 08/12/2016 20:31

midsomer Yes thanks

Not the first time I say it and won't be the last. Also stands for "can anyone explain why Game of Thrones is supposed to be good? It just looks like sex and death to me, I'd much rather watch Downton Abbey".

Although this is the first time I've had an existential rant about the quest for knowledge and deeper understanding in response to it. Definitely the first time I've been accused of deciding what knowledge other people acquire. Makes me sound quite powerful...

Original poster

sugarplumfairy28 · 08/12/2016 14:43

Isla my Dad is similar, He goes by two names, his first is what anyone outside the family calls him or people he isn't close with, and his second is what his family call him. He doesn't know why though. It is a sort of right of passage or something as far as he is concerned.

OP posts:

IAmNotACat · 08/12/2016 14:35

Everybody assumes my name is the longer version so refer to me by it. And to be honest, I actually prefer the longer version and wish I had that option - I feel I've been cheated out of a proper name !

Why can't you choose to go by the longer version as your nickname? I don't understand why people can go by a short version of a long name but not a long version of a short name.

Islacornx · 08/12/2016 14:25

OP I understand what you mean
My mother is the youngest of 3 and when she was born her parents let her brothers choose her first and middle name. However they preferred her middle name so only referred to her as that and totally ignored her "official" first name. She continues to go by her middle name now but any letters she receives or other formalities she has to be addressed by her actual first name. All too confusing for me and seems a bit pointless to have a name on a birth certificate that's never used other than for formal things..

midsomermurderess · 08/12/2016 12:58

Oh KitNeuron, was it worth it, was it?

Original poster

sugarplumfairy28 · 08/12/2016 11:57

Knowledge is a funny thing though isn't it. If you don't want to enter this debate then don't, nobody is asking you to. Unfortunately it's not up to you to decide what knowledge other people acquire, or the why, what is up to you is your participation. If you believe I am acting in a certain manner which renders my pursuit of knowledge mute, then so be it.

I am particularly interested in the history of names, traditions some cultures use to choose a name, and the meaning of names. If you read my post without assuming I have an attitude righteousness behind it, you will see it is merely a 'quest' for knowledge. I haven't been rude, or insulted anyone's choices they have made.

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KitNeutron · 08/12/2016 11:48

But you act as if it's vital knowledge, and that there is a reason that you simply don't understand. When actually 1) you don't NEED to understand it because it's other people and their choices for their children. Do you question why others put their children in clothes from Tesco? And 2) the answer is simple, because they want to.

The fact that they do something different to what you would do isn't a matter of great mystery at all. Do you question why people drive the car they do? ("Well, mine is a 5 door and I simply do not understand why everyone doesn't make the same choice, it makes sense to me because it's easier and better"). It really is none of your business.

Original poster

sugarplumfairy28 · 08/12/2016 11:20

KitI'm not shocked, not in the slightest, your answer is entirely predictable. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking questions and trying to understand different things, as a society, perhaps we should be asking more questions. To say you don't have to "understand it's none of business", is to breed ignorance.

If someone is willing to venture an answer then so be it, if not then don't be part of the debate - don't shoot down the person who has the audacity to raise a question.

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KitNeutron · 08/12/2016 10:33

Are you sitting down? Because what you're about to read might shock you.

DIFFERENT PEOPLE LIKE DIFFERENT THINGS. I know, surprising right? There are people in this world who will go ahead and do absolutely insane things like calling their child a name they like, without even thinking for one second that someone might not agree with it! I don't know what the world is coming to.

You don't have to agree with it, or even understand it, it's none of your business. If you don't want to do it, then don't.

Original poster

sugarplumfairy28 · 08/12/2016 10:28

I think that when you name a child, you have to be 100% sure that it is the best choice you can come up with, that it will carry them through their lives without it becoming an issue. I don't mean only having classic names, or sticking to longer names, but something that doesn't require them to an alternative. What is wrong with Bill? If that is what he will be known as, then it should be on the birth certificate and acknowledged as his name.

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HearTheThunderRoar · 08/12/2016 08:23

I agree OP, my DD has what is viewed as a twee name on Mumsnet and is a nickname of a classic name.

There was a couple of reasons why I chose the nickname version on birth certificate, the classic name was top 10 and DD's name was practically unheard of back in the late 1990s when I had her, although the name has risen in popularity since then and is now top 100. It was also the name of a close relative I had and the name had a connection to DH.

Almost 18 years later I don't regret the decision.

ACubed · 08/12/2016 08:03

I totally agree op ! I had this debate recently, I love the name Bill but don't like William but was told it would be stupid to have just Bill on the birth certificate.

INeedNewShoes · 08/12/2016 08:01

I have a one syllable name that is thought of as a shortened version of a classic name, for example its the equivalent of being named 'Liz' instead of 'Elizabeth'.

I wish my parents had used the full version of the name. They left me with no options whatsoever!

Pluto30 · 08/12/2016 07:56

Yeah, no idea.

I have a four syllable name and it's a pain in the ass. In my parents' defense, they never call me any of the shortened forms (although I introduce myself as a shortened form to people).

All of my children have two syllable names. The boys have traditional names, with traditional/natural nicknames (think Thomas to Tom, or Joseph to Joe), and DD has a name that has no natural shortening (think Mia). All names were chosen with my annoyance of my own long name in mind.

Original poster

sugarplumfairy28 · 08/12/2016 07:38

Thick but surely this is something that parents need to consider, it's a name for life. It almost seems like people are avoiding the responsibility and ultimately letting their child choose their own name later in life. If you are never called Fiona during your entire life, why on earth would it seem like a natural step to identify as that for the sake of a job.

My DD's nickname is Tiddles, and my DS is Squid, I think we can all agree neither are serious names and would not work well as an adult, but if they are never called by the name on the birth certificate, they will never identify with it, and you run the risk of them just changing their name altogether. To be honest I'm not keen on my name, but it is my name, and I think it would be so incredibly odd just to choose another.

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Joinourclub · 03/12/2016 12:15

Because you name a person not a baby, and the cute baby name you like may not seem right when they are a 6ft rugby player

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 03/12/2016 12:14

But in your example of Fifi, OP, it makes perfect sense for her to be called Fiona on her bc. Particularly as Fifi is a fluffy kind of name and if Fifi became a DI in the police force, or an MP, or a doctor, surely she would want her name badge to read Fiona? If she's an artist or author, Fifi might well suit her better, much more bohemian. And it's a perfectly acceptable nn for Fiona which requires no explanation, than if her name was Beatrice but her parents called her Fifi.

SausageSoda · 03/12/2016 12:06

The majority of posters insisting that every name must have a nn seems to be a MN thing. Have never really come across it in RL.

Irontheshirts · 02/12/2016 19:15

My DD has a short name that we lengthen for an everyday name. I don't think we have ever used the name on her birth certificate and everyone at school uses her lengthen name.
When she put her official birth certificate name on exam papers teachers questioned it. If asked about it she tells people her parents gave her a grown up name incase she wants to be a doctor.

Jojo13 · 02/12/2016 18:29

Agreed! I had this argument with OH. Although regarding more shortened versions of names rather than nicknames as such.
I.e: I like Finn, but not Finley.
I think if you like the sound of a name, then I don't see the point in choosing the longer version just because...
(Understand the opinions regarding a more cutesy nickname though and having the option in later life, but don't understand the problem with the shortened names being called 'unfinished')

RNBrie · 02/12/2016 18:10

Ah I see. My brother was given a first name and a second name and is known by a nickname of his second name i.e. Patrick Edward, known as Eddie.

The reason is my mum wanted a son called Eddie. My dad thinks it's a baby's name but neither of them much liked Edward. So they called him Patrick which they both liked but mum always called him Eddie which stuck.

He thinks they were mad. Everyone calls him Ed. You have a point Op!

Original poster

sugarplumfairy28 · 02/12/2016 18:03

I'm not sure I was clear enough, I understand having a perfectly suitable name like, lets say Edward, they can then choose to be called, Ed, Eddie, Ted, Teddy, Woody, or Edward - OK that makes sense. It's a name with options.

But for a parent to say I want to call my child Fifi, but that is a 'stupid' first name, what can we put on a birth certificate that would make Fifi an obvious nickname for them, with no intention whatsoever of ever using the name on the birth certificate? It's one thing to give your child options, but it would seem a little odd if at a certain age, they then want to known by a name never used, they might as well choose any other name under sun for what it's worth.

A number of members in my family, not my generation though, go by both their first name and middle name. My Nan for example was called by her first name by her Mum and second name by her Dad, when she got to whatever age it was, she decided she liked the second name best, but she had always been known by that in some form.

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SquedgieBeckenheim · 02/12/2016 17:39

I like long names that can be shortened as it gives people options. DD has a 2 syllable name, we always use the full version but she has a choice of shortened names when she's older.
There are lots of long names I like, but would probably always default to a shorter name for "everyday use" but would put the full name on a birth certificate.
Historically it's always happened - the name on the birth certificate doesn't match the name used every day. It wasn't unusual in my grandparents day to be christened one name, but always be known as the middle name.

BackforGood · 02/12/2016 17:33

you can call them by the long version when they are in trouble!

this

IME nicknames evolve - you can't really 'pick them' other than when they are tiny.
It's good to have a 'formal name' for some occasions.
It also gives the person choices as they grow up. Some 'cutsie' name the parents wanted for their tiny bundle of joy doesn't always sit well with a teen or a 40 yr old.

jaykay34 · 02/12/2016 17:27

I have a shortened version of a longer name because my mum couldn't see the point in using the longer version.

Everybody assumes my name is the longer version so refer to me by it. And to be honest, I actually prefer the longer version and wish I had that option - I feel I've been cheated out of a proper name !