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Really upset - Mum and MIL are having a go at us.

132 replies

FreddyEddy · 18/11/2016 12:15

I feel like just changing her middle name completely.

It took 7 years to become pregnant, so we probably won't try for another.

We thought it would be nice to honour both grandmothers, but only wanted her to have 1 middle name.

My mum is Julia, my MIL is Ariana.

We chose Juliana for her middle name...

We were so excited to tell everyone the name, thinking they'd be so excited. No, all we get is "you should have given her 2 middle names" "you've now used neither of our names" and obviously many more.

I'm just so upset.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
LeavesinAutumn · 18/11/2016 15:45

However I think it is silly to expect your MIL to be bowled over by the name. Accepting, yes. Pleased, no.

^^

But how many mils get mentioned in their gc names at all ?
The way you have written this almost implies that every baby has to be named after their mil/gc and now this couple have not done this.

Its an honour whether its the precise name or not. No one bar the parents will ever think the middle name is anything to do with grandparents

NightNightBadger19962 · 18/11/2016 15:43

Katherine Olivia is lovely, depending on what initials it would make? Congratulations on your baby and her lovely names, whatever you decide.

Crystal15 · 18/11/2016 15:42

Sorry but I'd have to tell them to nit be such entitled drama lamas.

onedayimightforget · 18/11/2016 15:40

I think Julianna is lovely and both grandmothers are being rude to express any opinion about the name you've chosen. I'd go with Olivia, which is equally as lovely and your Dad will appreciate it far more than either your Mum/MIL. I personally think Olivia works better with Katherine as well. Or you could go with Olive which is less popular at present.

ellei · 18/11/2016 15:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KlingybunFistelvase · 18/11/2016 15:34

Grin quintessing - x post

KlingybunFistelvase · 18/11/2016 15:33
  • Katherine Olivia sorry! Not "Latherine" Confused
Quintessing · 18/11/2016 15:32

Oh, Latherine is surprisingly nice, and clean! It makes me think of somebody not to mess with, like Wolverine.

Or somebody destined to own a cleaning company.

MrsKoala · 18/11/2016 15:31

Katherine Olivia is nicer imo. But both are lovely.

KlingybunFistelvase · 18/11/2016 15:26

I think both are lovely, but I slightly prefer Latherine Olivia, simply because I slightly prefer the name Olivia to Juliana.

2kids2dogsnosense · 18/11/2016 15:24

Katherine Olivia flows better to me - but Katherine Juliana has more presence (does that make sense?)

FreddyEddy · 18/11/2016 15:17

Which sounds better Katherine Juliana or Katherine Olivia? We are going with the K spelling as we like Kate/Katie/Kitty (all the K NNs basically!)

It's so hard, I do love all my family and am gutted they have been so nasty about it, but I do like Juliana, but my dad would really appreciate Olivia. So hard

OP posts:
Chinlo · 18/11/2016 15:15

I have to believe that people only behave like this because other people allow them to. Nobody ever acts this way to me, and that can't be pure luck. It's probably just because if I was in this situation I would quickly tell them both to get over it. I suggest you do the same.

Nip any drama in the bud. "We combined both of your names because we don't want to use two middle names. We're really happy with our choice, and we hope you are happy with the small gesture". Followed by "I'm sorry you feel that way. We're very happy with our choice" to any and all debate on the matter.

ManaFleet · 18/11/2016 15:02

Juliana is a beautiful name and it's a really lovely way of honouring both grandmothers equally. If you love it, stick to it. They'll realise that they're being rotten & ungrateful soon enough and apologise.

Congratulations Flowers

OohhThatsMe · 18/11/2016 14:52

I would say in a text to each, "So you don't want me to use Juliana?" Get a text reply confirming that, then use Olivia.

TwentyCups · 18/11/2016 14:51

Fuck them.

I'd go with Olivia personally! Congratulations!

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 18/11/2016 14:48

Yes, go with Olivia, it's beautiful, your Father will be elated. 😄

Myu5ername · 18/11/2016 14:46

I think it's lovely and you the sentiment was a great idea.
I'm sorry that having specific names are more important to the grans than the fact they have a beautiful granddaughter.

LittleBearPad · 18/11/2016 14:44

You've done something lovely and they've been snitty about it which is mean.

Ignore them. It's a lovely name. Olivia is also nice.

Potatoooooo · 18/11/2016 14:27

I like Olivia, its a pretty name :)

mateysmum · 18/11/2016 14:09

Stick with Juliana, it is a perfect name, classy and unusual without being "yoonique". The grannies need to grow up and stop being competitive and offended and just enjoy this much wanted little girl.

FreddyEddy · 18/11/2016 14:04

Charles, I wasn't clearly naming her after my mother. If I was, I'd have gone with Julia, which my DH would have been happy with. How else could I have merged them with Ari at the start? I couldn't! Please can you not start? I don't mean to have a go but I put a lot of effort into thinking about family and how this will be their only granddaughter. I tried my best to make them feel special about it being their grandchild.

My dad's name is Oliver, so we could use Olivia for her middle name, which I think is lovely, but obviously not as unusual.

Thank you everyone, this thread has made me feel so much better and not be so worried that I had messed up!

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cockadoodledoooo · 18/11/2016 14:03

The name is beautiful and so is the reason behind it, what an honour...,is what they should be saying! But some people cannot disguise disappointment.

I didn't take dh surname when we married but we combined our surnames to create our children's surname, 5 years later we are still getting shit for it

MrsKoala · 18/11/2016 13:59

Julianna is a lovely name. But it is neither of their names. So if you wanted them to feel honoured or they had had a tribute to them then i can see why they aren't gushing with enthusiasm. However, they aren't owed a middle name tribute and should be magnanimous and just say it's lovely and move on.

I recently had a girl and told my parents we were giving her recently deceased MILs middle name and instead of saying 'oh that's nice' like i would have, my parents faces frosted over and their mouths stiffened and dad said 'WELL!! you are going to give her mum's name too aren't you???' I sighed inside and said yes.

DS2 has Dad's middle name as his second middle name (because it flows better) and when we told dad, rather than being honoured he huffed 'if it's second you might as well not have bothered' and flounced out of the room and it was never mentioned again.

Topseyt · 18/11/2016 13:58

Juliana is lovely. I used to know one and always liked the name.

If you want to use it then do, but I would tell them both firmly that you are now using it simply because YOU like it, not in honour of two such childish and immature idiots who have thrown their toys out of the pram.

Congratulations on your new baby. Flowers Enjoy her, and ignore them.

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