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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

WWYD sensitive subject

62 replies

UnicornPee · 17/11/2016 20:25

We are due our 3rd an final baby,a girl.
My DH mother died suddenly and unexpectedly this year.
He has told me he wants our babies middle name to be her name. I haven't replied to this and I think he assumes that's fine.
However, here's where I need WWYD opinions.
I wasn't close to his mother. I wasn't a huge fan of her. Obviously I'm sad she died don't get me wrong. But I don't feel that much of a connection to want to give my last child her name as a middle name.
If I go with my gut I am dreading telling my DH.

WWYD?
A) go with what I want and give her my own choice lovely middle name

B) respect my DH wishes and give her the middle name of his late mum

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Plantpot83 · 17/11/2016 20:34

if it's really important to you DH, I think that you should use the name rather than just a name that you prefer because it sounds better. As others have suggested you could add another middle name.

LivininaBox · 17/11/2016 20:31

I think it depends what you mean by "not a huge fan". Middle names aren't a big deal, I would probably go along with your DH's wish, as obviously it is important to him. But if you actually had a bad relationship with her then that's different.

JontyDoggle37 · 17/11/2016 20:30

This isn't about whether you liked your MIL, it's about helping your DH with his grief and honouring a close family member of his. Both my DH and I have a deceased parent each, as soon as I was pregnant we decided middle names, whether boy or girl, would honour dead parents. It wasn't about whether we lived the names, but about continuity and family remembrance.

Zebrasinpyjamas · 17/11/2016 20:30

It's a no brainer-you use the Mil name plus another of your choice if you wish.

DramaAlpaca · 17/11/2016 20:30

I'd go with two middle names, one of your choice & your MIL's name.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 17/11/2016 20:29

I hated my ex MIL and she hated me.

She died when I was pregnant and my exh wanted to use her name as a middle name.

It meant a lot to him and nothing to me so we used it.

I think it would be very unkind not to use it.

QueenOfTheNaps · 17/11/2016 20:29

Give her the name. Honestly, as PP has said no one ever uses middle names anyway

WatchingFromTheWings · 17/11/2016 20:29

Use both your choice and his? Lots of people have 2 middle names.

seminakedinsomebodyelsesroom · 17/11/2016 20:28

Hmm autocorrect changing my an to a twice!

seminakedinsomebodyelsesroom · 17/11/2016 20:28

Two middle names?

Unless she was a unarguably bad person or had a universally awful name I think it will be difficult to make a case for not using it.

Floralnomad · 17/11/2016 20:27

Just give her the name , if necessary give her an extra middle name , quite honestly middle names are so irrelevant it's not worth the possible argument .

kimlo · 17/11/2016 20:27

I would use the name.

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