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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Surname when parents aren't married

36 replies

Unicorn1981 · 21/10/2016 14:36

I always thought it was a given the baby had dads surname married or not but I have seen a few comments on here lately that it isn't necessarily the way. DD has dp's surname. Have I missed something? We are engaged just haven't got round to getting married but I was just wondering.

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HardcoreLadyType · 21/10/2016 15:16

Traditionally, where the parents are not married, the child takes the mother's surname.

For the father to "bestow" his name on a child born out of wedlock was seen to be a great honour.

Nowadays, we do as we please, and give our DC whichever name we want to.

TimTamTerrier · 21/10/2016 15:14

My DC have a different surname to both parents, you can do whatever suits your circumstances best.

pugsake · 21/10/2016 15:11

My DD's both have different surnames to me (now married) doesn't really bother me. Each to their own and all that.

PurpleTraitor · 21/10/2016 15:07

I think you mean surname where the parents don't have the same surnames. Being married does not mean you have the same surname and being unmarried does not mean you have different ones.

Chinlo · 21/10/2016 15:02

Ours will have both of our surnames

ItchyFoot · 21/10/2016 14:53

Dd has her dad's surname. I eventually wanted us all to have the same surname as it was sometimes a pain when growing up with mum, stepdad, and sisters with two different names. We're planning on getting married and I have no issue taking his name so that's what we'll do.

Love51 · 21/10/2016 14:51

Traditional convention was that the child has the father's surname. Traditional convention was also that the parents would be married and the wife would take the husband's surname. Personally I couldn't give my kids any surname other than my own (perhaps I haves ishoos!) But you can give mum's, dad's, both (with or without a hyphen) - I think you might be able to give a completely different surname ( I think some cultures do this, using -son of type suffixes). There is no right or wrong decision for parents to make. Just once other people know the decision they respect it :)

Original poster
Unicorn1981 · 21/10/2016 14:46

Good! Thanks. Not changing it now but just interested. DP did ask me though as it looks like she'll be the only child on our side of the family to carry on the name but it's always been his surname as far as I'm concerned.

OP posts:
ineedamoreadultieradult · 21/10/2016 14:45

People do what they want to do. We were not married when DS1 was born but I have him his dad's surname as we knew we would get married and I would take his surname as well. If we had no plans to get married I might have given him my surname but then again it's a bugger to pronounce so it still might have been his dad's surname.

EmzDisco · 21/10/2016 14:44

Its not a given, you can give your baby any name. DD has both our names, as that suits us, for example. You can give your baby your name, partners name, both names, mixture of the two, or even make one up, if you wanted to.

Meadows76 · 21/10/2016 14:39

You havent missed anything. You can name your children whatever you like.

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