Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

If you waited until after baby had arrived to name them...

52 replies

Dreamer100 · 28/09/2016 23:42

...well, what happens if you still can't choose a name even when the baby is in your arms?! I'm due soon and can't decide. I am indecisive by nature and just know that whatever I choose I'll regret and want to change again the next day! Posters often say you'll just know when you see the baby - really?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
chinlo · 30/09/2016 11:33

Where we live, it's highly unusual not to have chosen a name before the baby is born. Parents want to talk to their unborn child by name, and they inform their family and friends, etc. It's totally normal.

I don't mind it. I don't see any reason to wait (I think babies take on the look of whatever name you give them, rather than looking like a specific name) and I don't really see any reason to keep it a secret or surprise, once you've decided.

DeputyPecksBentBeak · 30/09/2016 11:03

We didn't find out with either of the DC's. For our first we had a girls name decided early on. Not intentional we just fell in love when it was mentioned and nothing else matched. We had nothing for a boy, really struggled. Eventually settled on a name a week before due date. We had a girl and I'm so glad we didn't have a boy because we just weren't keen on the name that we'd chosen. We didn't even consider the names when I was pregnant with dc2 and it was only just over a year later.

Second pregnancy we had a boys name that we loved and we couldn't agree on a girls name. I'd loved loads of girls names when pregnant with my first, just none had compared, so I thought I'd find it easy. We still hadn't decided when DS was born. We had a boys name picked out at around 16 weeks but as time passed it just didn't feel right. We didn't want to have our DC's names match or really go together as that just wasn't important to us but when I said all our names out loud it just didn't fit or seem right somehow and I still can't put my finger on why. Then when I was around 34/35 weeks DH mentioned a name in passing and it just clicked and the name we had previously decided on became his middle name.

I think it's one thing reading names and putting them with your surname, it's another thing saying them out loud. Sometimes it can change how the name 'feels' if that makes any sense Confused

Now pg with dc3 now and we won't find out again. Fuck knows what we're going to decide on, but it's early days yet so we've got plenty of time.

Weneverworked · 29/09/2016 23:48

We chose Emily for DD 3 but DD 1 (aged 13 at the time) absolutely hated it so we agreed on Olivia. When she was born weighing 8lb 6oz, after shoulder dystocia made her look like she'd done 10 rounds, I declared she wasn't an Olivia, it was a dainty delicate name, and it didn't suit her !
We decided on Jessica, and even have a congratulations card including the name, but after a week or so just couldn't live with it, so I said 'Emma, just Emma, simple but timeless' It was like it fell into place, yes, that was her name, perfect, sorted.
I love it to this day.

LittleBearPad · 29/09/2016 23:34

Picked names about 36 and 48 hours after birth. There's no rush. People will wait.

bostonkremekrazy · 29/09/2016 23:32

We picked dd name when I was 6 weeks pg - after 10 rounds of IVF and numerous losses we absolutely knew what she was to be called. Its the perfect name for her.

We are also adoptive parents and had to choose the names for LO's before we met them, you can't have a child come to you with no name - and you can't wait and see what the child looks like. So you pick a name and trust it's the right one!

For me the thought of having a baby with no name is just bizarre......but fun looking at the baby whilst picking too!

Bin85 · 29/09/2016 15:43

Good idea to have some names in mind , one of mine was premature and whisked off to special care.I was left alone in labour room whilst DH was asked to pick a name 'just in case'.Luckily he went with my favourite at the time and we added a family name a few days later.(This was before mobile phones were common )
My parents had names picked out for all of us in advance - I'm glad I wasn't a boy as don't like the name!

dustarr73 · 29/09/2016 15:34

I had a list but i did have a fair idea what they where going to be called.Until ds3.All teh names we had didnt suit him.A name kept popping in to my head.Thats what we called him.Perfectly nice name but not a name i would have entertained really.

wintersdawn · 29/09/2016 14:37

We had a list of names for DD but for some reason as I was being wheeled into surgery I said a name we hadn't discussed or even heard anyone mention and when we finally got to see her afterwards the name just stuck. DS knew we wanted something strong and that couldn't be shortened so only had one name in our heads and he suited it perfectly.

TwoKidsAndCounting · 29/09/2016 14:35

Took me the whole 6 weeks for one of my DD's and even when I decided I wasn't sure, don't know why. I love her name and she really suits it so I know now I made the right choice but at the time my mind was a complete blank or total mush or both

Dreamer100 · 29/09/2016 14:30

I suppose what I find fascinating is how people read all those name books and online lists and manage to narrow it down to one perfect name. Just one. How do they do it? Or do you just find one you both like and say ok that'll do?! I think I'm an over-thinker....

OP posts:
Dreamer100 · 29/09/2016 14:27

Yes, it's the reaction from family and friends that bothers me if we don't announce a name straightaway. I know my parents would be wtf and embarrassed by the faffing about! DH is adamant we need a name before the birth and we just have to have a cutoff date and stick to it. He knows me too well....

OP posts:
Shemozzle · 29/09/2016 12:08

That's a very good question, I was wondering the same thing yesterday. With my last two we had decided before birth, and they definitely didn't 'look like' their names, took me a few days to feel comfortable saying their name out loud and not just 'the baby' but now I'm very happy with their names. I think most babies take a while to fit into their names. This time we have short lists we can't decide on so thought we'd just wait and see, but I've started to remember it takes a while and worry and feel we need to choose beforehand. Last thing I want with exhaustion is even more indecision. I have certainly noticed that those who decide to wait take an age to announce the name and I couldn't be doing with a nameless baby for weeks, with friends and relatives all holding off on their cards and well wishes not knowing who to address in them!

MillieMoodle · 29/09/2016 10:20

With DS1 we had two names in mind, but only one we really liked. When he was born, the name we liked definitely suited him, so that's what he is!

DS2 was harder, we hadn't really decided on boys names and there was only one we had even said we both liked. As it was, when he was born we both though that name suited him, so that's what he is. Middle name was harder, we'd not discussed anything but had a name we both liked and which suited him by the time he was 12 hours old. It all just seemed to fit once he was actually here!

chameleon43 · 29/09/2016 10:12

You have 6 weeks to try names out and decide.

with dd we went through a couple of different names and rejected them until we finally found the right name when she was about a week old. Having obsessed over baby names for the years leading up to her birth, I found that once she was finally here, there was no huge rush at all. I loved those first few days of having her as my nameless little girl!

If we had been rushed and chosen a name on day one then it wouldn't have been the right one...

Pipilangstrumpf · 29/09/2016 09:30

Found

Pipilangstrumpf · 29/09/2016 09:30

We chose our kids' names as soon as we going out their genders at the 20 week scan.

IMO all babies look the same, they certainly dont 'look' like a name.

mouldycheesefan · 29/09/2016 09:10

People don't name their babies before they are born surely? They have some ideas, could be a list of 20 could be fixed in 1. You don't have a baby till its born so how can you name it?🙄
Some people decide straight away,mothers take weeks and try out a few.

rhiaaaaaaaannon · 29/09/2016 09:05

With Ds1 his name came to us as soon as we saw him, in fact we both said it out loud at the same time. Just felt right and still does.

I couldn't decide with Ds2 and spent a few days in a dilemma until dh decided for us. I still don't love it but it's ok.

Gazelda · 29/09/2016 09:02

We had a shortlist of about 20 before DD was born. Then she came along and we called her 'baby' until we'd decided. We were too tired to have a sensible discussion and agreement for about 2 weeks though Blush.

Teahornet · 29/09/2016 08:59

Babies look like babies. I think the "you'll just know' stuff is guff - something tiny, crumpled and reddish doesn't look like a Persephone rather than a Kylie. We didn't decide for several weeks. There's no mad rush, surely?

PoldarksBreeches · 29/09/2016 08:13

It took us 3 days to start discussing names and 6 days to fix on one. To be honest I wasn't stressing about it, I knew a name would fit and it did. We tried a different one out for a day before I felt it wasn't right.

TheHubblesWindscreenWipers · 29/09/2016 02:14

We narrowed it down to a few then decided on it when he arrived.

WanderingTrolley1 · 29/09/2016 01:48

We couldn't decide and was forced to come to a decision at the registry office!

whogrewoutoftheterribletwos · 29/09/2016 01:17

DS: we had a few, soft lyrical names. Then he was born and looked like he'd been ten rounds with Mike Tyson. He just suited a name...

DD: had an extended list, with different styles of name. She was one for about a day, I didn't like it. Asked DS to pick another (not on the list - other possibilities had been chucked out as she didn't 'look' like those names). DS chose one that we didn't hate, so that is DD'S name. I'm not a huge fan, but now she's 3 she is determined that's who she is and won't answer to a nn

AntiHop · 29/09/2016 01:14

We had 4 names and tried them out. Really pleased with what we chose.

Swipe left for the next trending thread