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Original poster

"Stealing" baby names

38 replies

Fayaa · 30/08/2016 14:26

Alright, so I have just been accused of 'stealing' my DB and SIL's baby name (almost 4 years ago, might I add). I didn't know that this was a thing. How does anyone have claim on a name? Please, tell me.

I have 2 questions for you:

  1. Have you ever "stolen" a name? Tell me about it? Do you feel bad?

  2. Has anyone ever "stolen" a name from you? Do you still resent this person? What was the situation?

Background (in case you're interested): SIL and I were pregnant at the same time. I was living abroad. She was having a boy, I was having girls. SIL didn't ever want to discuss names with me (claims we did). I named one of my DDs Valentina, she named her son Edward and I never heard anything about it for almost 4 years. She is now 5 mo pregnant with another boy and had a bit of a hysterical sobbing session at my mum's today because she has "run out" of boys names after I "stole" hers. Pregnancy hormones and everything are intense so I'm not offended or too worried, I don't think. Apparently SIL wanted to name her DS Valentine after mine and DB's grandfather. I also would have named DD Valentine should I have had boys, but didn't. I'm just confused. I didn't think to ask her before naming my children, should I have? Confused I don't have many mum friends and definitely didn't at the time. Just wondering both for my conscience and because I'm now interested into how others feel about this situation

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sleepachu · 30/08/2016 15:09

it's yours and your brother's grandad and not hers? really weird to have a go at you about it in that case. you sound so nice about it too. sure she'll cheer up when she's less hormonal. could they use the name anyway or is that weird? my cousin had her daughter about a year after my mum had me and liked my name so much she asked my mum if she could use it too. we just get called little X and big X :)

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 30/08/2016 15:07

If she wants to call her Son Valentine, tell her to go ahead.

SanityClause · 30/08/2016 14:58

I think you're right about pregnancy hormones. Also, it sounds like you are getting the story second hand via your mum. Maybe your SIL didn't actually say you had discussed names, but your mum assumed you had.

I think your DSIL will get over it, and either choose another lovely name, or use Valentine, anyway, possibly as a middle name.

RitesOfSpring · 30/08/2016 14:55

Her partner rang up and asked did we mind if they used the name we had chosen.
What can you say to that?

I don't know, maybe... "YES WE MIND"!

Haha, honestly if my sibling did that (we are both due within 2 weeks of each other later this year) I'd say you can use it if you really must, but we will still be using it for our DC.

RitesOfSpring · 30/08/2016 14:52

My dad's first child was a boy and his sister's was a girl, and they used the male/female version of the same name (their father's name). As a kid I never even thought about it really and only realised recently how many people would make an issue of it. Never seemed to bother anyone in our family though!

angeldiver · 30/08/2016 14:48

I was pregnant the same time as twin, she was due day before me, I went over, so she had hers 2 weeks before me.
Her partner rang up and asked did we mind if they used the name we had chosen.
What can you say to that?

The name meant something to me, it didn't to her. I wasn't happy then but 15 years on, that name wouldn't have suited my dc.
It is quite a 'hard' name and I think my dc suits their softer name.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 30/08/2016 14:43

FWIW, Valentina for a girl is much nicer than Valentine for a boy - but that's just my opinion!

No, you didn't steal SILs name at all.

Original poster
Fayaa · 30/08/2016 14:40

My main issue is that if she had TOLD me she wanted to use Valentine, I might have considered a different name. Ok, I'm getting angry again now. Angry

OP posts:
TheFace · 30/08/2016 14:38

What are you supposed to do? Change your DDs name so she can use Valentine?

Ignore her, sounds like she's making an issue out of nothing and she'll soon find another name she likes.

Original poster
Fayaa · 30/08/2016 14:35

noappointmentNecessary - that's such a coincidence! Have any name recommendations for SIL? Seems like the have the same taste!

OP posts:
Original poster
Fayaa · 30/08/2016 14:33

Oh no, don't be mean - she was just having "one of those days" I think, but it got me worried! Sounds like she's been keeping it in for a while though!

OP posts:
ImYourMama · 30/08/2016 14:30

Tell her she's being bloody ridiculous and if it's a family name, why does she have a bigger claim over it than you?

Stupid woman

Noappointmentnecessary · 30/08/2016 14:28

This made me chuckle as we have a son called Edward and if it was a girl, we were going to call her Valentina. Your SIL needs
To get over it. There are lots of names out there. She is just being silly!!

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