"Stealing" baby names

Do your's and SIL's dc see a lot of each other? If not I don't see why she can't just use the name anyway.

We have agreed with my DB not to use a specific boys name as he and DSIL have their hearts set on it.

Why can't she just use Valentine anyway?

My niece and my ds have very similar names. Jesse and Jessica. Both get called Jess and no one bats an eye!

But would your 'dreaming or longing' translate into you making a general announcement to pregnant friends and family that you were reserving the name X for your future offspring and would they be sure not to use it???

Absolutely not.

If a friend or relative picked a name I liked and I then had a baby if I wanted to use the name I would and explain, well I always did like the name, great taste etc.

But certainly not say a word if anyone else was using it. There is no one name I absolutely must use, so I wouldnt have that issue anyway.

No one owns a name. If she wants to call her kid the same as yours, she can - even if they are cousins

But would your 'dreaming or longing' translate into you making a general announcement to pregnant friends and family that you were reserving the name X for your future offspring and would they be sure not to use it???

I can honestly say that before I got pregnant I had never sat about thinking in the abstract about baby names

I do exactly that. It's called dreaming / longing or whatever.

Incidentally, I knew a Valentine when I was at school (not UK) - he was devilishly handsome, freakishly macho, and got into a lot of fights.

What always baffles me about these stealing baby names threads is the fact that people so often seem to have big, generalised discussions with friends and family about names they are considering for their unborn (and sometimes unconceived, and unlikely to be conceived for some time!) children. DH and I only talked about what to call our son during the last few weeks of the pregnancy and the first anyone else knew of it was after he was born and we sent around a text to say little X had arrived and weighted eight pounds.

The sense of entitlement to a name, especially for a child who may not be conceived for years to come, if ever, is pretty weird (I can honestly say that before I got pregnant I had never sat about thinking in the abstract about baby names) but then, so is the 'consulting group' approach to naming!

VU to claim rights to any name, IMO. Though I agree it can be a bit confusing if you all live close by and see each other a lot.

Dh of a colleague of mine insisted on his son being named after him, and then that son named his own first son ditto - 3 of them! I think it'd drive me a bit bonkers, never mind the kids not having their 'own' names.

Recently in this extended family, two first cousins have given their babies the same name, but they live quite a distance from each other and don't meet very often.

When DD was stuck for a name for no 2 that she and her dh could agree on, and was asking for suggestions, I mentioned one that had just occurred to me. She said she really liked it, but couldn't use it since her friend X had called her baby that - X lives in Australia!

I didn't mention that name again, so was surprised after no 2 arrived that they decided to use it after all.

We have a two family names in our family which have been used in the last 2 and present generations. No one is offended because they are all trying to honor the same people. For instance I have an uncle and 2 cousins who all have the same name.

Your brother and SIL can still use it if they really wanted to.

I have not but I have two friends, one very close who was and still (10 years later) cross that friend 2 stole her DS name , there is only a couple of years between the DC. We did all think it very odd that friend 2 used the same name.

could *understand your brother

Why is she so emotional about the name.

he was YOUR grandfather, and your brothers, not her grandfather and she is no blood relative of his.

I could your brother being a bit put out by it, but her losing her shit?

Id tell her to fuck off to be honest.

Tiger people?? Autocorrect gone mad. Meant "other people". Sorry!

This whole name thing is ridiculous. Names are....er....names and tiger people will have them. Generally this is good and means that your child won't feel that they have a "weird" name. Ok - within families it's potentially worth checking you won't have cousins with exactly the same name (to avoid confusion!), but other than that, does it really matter?

(My mum was - quite literally - aghast that her neighbours had chosen my DD's name for their baby. I said they'd probably heard her say it and liked it. What's to get worked up about?)

What about Romeo? Same love themed name?!

She is being ridiculous. Ignore her.

Ps I know we could use A but the whole thing has kind of taken the shine off it.

My youngest is 1.5 and when I was pregnant my sister, who was not even pregnant, asked me not to use a name, let's say A, even though my husband really wanted to.

So we had it on our long list but wouldn't have felt comfortable using it. In the end we had a final two, let's say B and C. We used B. Now pregnant again and C is obviously the front runner. Or was until my sister had a baby last week and called it C!!!! When I asked why she didn't use A, the name she banned me from using she said her husband preferred C

Now I'm totally stuck for a girl's name for this one. Hope it's a boy!!!!

William
Or James x

My sister and I had DDs the same week. We didn't tell each other name choices, and we didn't know what sex we were having. We agreed in advance that whoever delivered first could name baby whatever they planned, but would check that the MN wasn't the others name choice. It wasn't, and all was grand. We had 2 names ready in case of a clash.

Holding a grudge for 4 years? Wow.

Difficult and different circumstances but this happened to us recently..
Both me and SIL pregnant. I knew I was having a boy, she had no idea.
She was due a month before and said she had no names at all and wasn't going to think about it until baby was here safely.
I expressly told her the name we had decided on and why (DPs middle name and my late grandads name)
She gave birth 3 weeks before me, didn't name he baby until a week old because she couldn't decide and used both the first and middle name we had told her we were using.

DP called her thoughtless for not even thinking to call him and let him know or talk to him about it and then we found out trough Facebook.

Not had the same relationship since.

I would just tell your SIL she's free to use the name if she wants. Valentine and Valentina are different names.

I know a male Valentine. He would be the first to say it's not an easy name to carry when you're 14, short and a bit fat.