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Baby names

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Original poster

Am I stepping over a line using a name for my baby that my sister in law has asked me not to ?!

189 replies

fayemumtofive · 09/08/2016 19:39

Evening all,
I'm looking for some advise; I'm heavily pregnant and my sister in law (who isn't trying to get pregnant & isn't really 100% if she even wants to/ will have any children in the future)..
has asked me not to use a name, as it is the name of her new (18months) partner's dead parent :-| And they've discussed that they would use it if they ever had a child of this sex in the future.

However its the only name my partner and i both agree that we like!
It has been on our name list since we first started having children 10 years ago, but haven't had the opportunity to use it until now.

She does live in the same town as us, though i wouldn't be phased if she then used the same name at a later date..
Am i being unreasonable?? And if you do think i could go ahead and use it should i forewarn her before the birth announcement ? I am concerned if i do she may try and persuade my partner not to use it and then we'd be back to having no name we can agree on despite it being a long standing favourite of ours :-/
Thanks in advance ! :)

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BoGrainger · 09/08/2016 19:45

Actually I can't believe you would let her find out from the birth announcement! Def U

Graceflorrick · 09/08/2016 19:44

You'd be very unreasonable to use it.

Stinkadoodle · 09/08/2016 19:44

I would use it. They may never have a child of that sex anyway. They could use it as a middle name couldn't they?
Don't warn them, just announce it after the birth. You may change your mind too?

eurochick · 09/08/2016 19:44

There are thousands of names to choose from. You would be insensitive to use this one.

needanewjob · 09/08/2016 19:43

I wouldn't use it as the reason they want to use it is for a very sentimental reason...this is her partners (dead) parents name....I think you would look incredibly unreasonable and a but spiteful if you now used it

BoGrainger · 09/08/2016 19:43

Why didn't you just tell her about it being on your list as soon as she told you? Then it would've been out in the open

HaPPy8 · 09/08/2016 19:43

I think it would be cruel to use it sorry.

EDisFunny · 09/08/2016 19:42

I don't think she has any right to ask you to not use a specific name.

biscuitkumquat · 09/08/2016 19:42

I think if you'd already decided, then it would be fine to use it.

But, I would have a conversation with her now, just letting her know that you'd already decided & were going to use it.

DreamingOfADifferentMe · 09/08/2016 19:42

Ooooh tricky one. Ultimately noone owns a name or has the power to forbid someone else from using it, and usually I'd be the first to say tough on her, but I can''t help but think that because the name is that of a dead parent, it's less black and white, or at least it is for me.

Do you love it desperately and nothing else comes close? Have you always wanted to call a child this particular name?

The only worry is that of course, she and her partner may not last the course and you'll have missed out on a lovely name for no reason.

Dandelionandfizz · 09/08/2016 19:42

I wouldn't use it.

MaudGonneMad · 09/08/2016 19:41

I think you would be unreasonable, yes, given that she's specifically asked you not to.

Goingtobeawesome · 09/08/2016 19:41

It would be mean to use it

NapQueen · 09/08/2016 19:40

I would use it.

What's your partners opinion (assuming he is her brother)?

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