What is with the obsession with nicknames here?

I'm always baffled by the perspective put forward by the OP.

I just think it is so frequent that people are called by a shortened version of their name that it's sensible to consider what the most likely shortened version is when choosing a name (in case you don't like it) and to think about what you would be most likely to shorten the name to. That's what I assume most people mean when they say "Isabel nn Izzy". Yes, technically a nickname is not a shortening/diminutive but I'm pretty sure most people just use "nn" to refer to the diminutive form they expect will accompany the full version.

Considering likely shortenings is not controlling or dictating what people call you child (although, technically that is what you're doing by naming them in the first place!). It's not like

Also, it's a matter of personal preference of course but I like having long form ("proper version") of my name which I use formally or for introductions, and then a shortened version for day to day/familiar use.

I have a nickname and a full name I go by both and sometimes I use my nickname instead of my full name with strangers if I don't want to say my full name to them my nickname is three letters of my full name but no one could work out the full name from those three letters unless they took a while and guessed loads of names lol so I love using both names I also asked a question about using a longer name for a nickname incase my child wants to use both as well for different situations in life it's just everyone's preference just like some people like middle names and some people don't
Like them nothing to get worked up about

Lol, it is funny.

I have a Tom. He is "officially" Thomas, but we have never called him that. Ever. I wanted just Tom but hubbie liked Thomas for "official documents" plus thought it sounded better with James (middle name). It does, but he is definitely a Tom. I actually don't like when some have called him Thomas ( how ridiculous am I, that is his name lol). We also have a very unusual, hard to pronounce surname ( 5th generation European). Poor kid.

Screwed it right up.

But I still love the name Tom, and Tom he is.

When DD was born (in fact long before she was born) I was sure which shortened version of her name we would use. She has only even been referred to as her full name. The shortened version (as per my username without the boo) never felt right.

Considering the short form strikes me as pretty normal. Elizabeth, Katherine, Benjamin etc are all commonly known by a short version. Many parents decide beforehand that they are probably going to refer to their William as Billy, rather than Will.

Completely different nicknames are a whole kettle of fish. Deciding that your Elizabeth is going to be called Lissie-Loo or Bumps is a bit weirder.

But then I definitely don't see Kate, Alex, Will, Ben etc as "nicknames". They're shortenings, which is very different.

Also saying "We love Ben but hate Benjamin and Benedict - what else can we use" confuses me - just use Ben then?

What i don't understand is why people use completely different names as nicknames (eg, not the obvious shortening).

We had a guy come in for an interview where i work. He introduced himself as Kev, fair enough, we presumed it was short for Kevin...who wouldn't? When we got his paperwork from him his name was actually John. So now having to 'officially' refer to his as John in paperwork, wages, accounts stuff, etc and talking to him face-to-face as Kev nobody knows who the bloody hell we are talking about when he is sometimes John and sometimes Kev.

I would presume Kevin is perhaps his middle name, but i don't understand why people use middle names as first names! If you want to call them by the middle names JUST USE IT AS THEIR FIRST NAME!!! It will save a whole lot of confusion.

I've actually seen the reverse on MN. People wanting to call their child Katie but nooooo apparently that's too informal it should be Katherine- never mind the fact that Katie is a name in its own right.
Like how Prince Harry is actually Prince Henry but no one calls him that.
Ultimately I disagree Op but I see where you're coming from.
Middle names are often used to preserve the mother's maiden name (for example) or a family name. Eg my middle name is after my great granny, and my cousin's middle name is after our granny's maiden name. His brother's middle name is after their mother's maiden name even though she didn't actually change her name. Plus maybe it can add extra letters to initials? Eg there may be an Anna Jones and an Amelia Jefferson in one class- initialing with just those letters could be an issue. An additional name can help differentiate between the two.
Plus nicknames can be very useful in those American families where you get things like Michael Robert Smith III and so on. For example Trey Parker of South Park fame is actually Randolph Severn Parker III. And so on.

My daughter is Imogen she gets called Imy
But DH and I also call her Ditzy her nickname which she loves
She is nearly 16 and still likes Ditzy

I agree with all the people who say a nickname is not the same thing as a short form.

I don't think there's anything wrong with deciding in advance which short form you think you will use, or with giving the longer form as a formal name even if you don't use it day to day. I do think (and this is something that affected me personally so I'm probably more fussy about it than average) you should not give a child a longer name if you would be really unhappy with the most obvious short form being used. I mean you can always say "no, we'd rather you called him Edward, not Eddie," but I think it could make you, or him when he's older, seem a bit stand-offish. Fortunately I love the most obvious short from of DS1's name (I hate the version that was fashionable maybe about 50 or 60 years ago, but I don't think anyone would ever think of calling him that), and it turns out he does too, and DS2's name doesn't really have any short forms, although we sometimes call him by made-up longer forms in a jokey way.

Middle names are often related to cultural norms. From where I'm from, everyone has one middle name. You'll often have be named after a deceased relative but with their name as your middle name.

one of my dd's has a long 4 syllable name, lets say its Susanna (yes i know its 3 syllables). We call her Susanna but also call her Anna for short at times, we had intended to use Sue for short when we named her but Anna stuck instead.

Some names just naturally get shortened, and not always to what you think they will

But I guess we didn't decide on Bea prebirth. It's just what she became! As well as Pop pop!

CrunchyMum My DD is Beatrice & we call her Bea

It doesn't really bother me. I don't see the point if you don't like the name, though...

On a similar note, it's always struck me as po-faced when people say "we deliberately chose a name that can't be shortened".

All names can be. Or, at least lengthened to form the nickname!

Totally agree op.

I find it weird that some people give their kids the short form of names that they don't actually like, like Archie but they hate the full name Archibald or Archer!

I agree.

Nicknames/abbreviations evolve over time, they aren't "given".

Oh, and I guess I mean 'shortening' when I say nickname

There are names I like, but that I think might be limiting to the way that people viewed you as an adult. So I think of names that would allow me to use the name I like while they are a child, and then if my child does grow up and wanted to be 'default sensible adult' they could use their full name. It's sort of reverse engineering the nicknaming process.

There are also names that I like but would avoid because I don't like the way they will inevitably be shortened to, Melanie for example because I don't like Mel.

Finally, my name doesn't have any abbreviations or nicknames and I always wanted one, so there's partly me living vicariously too.

My DH actually has Grumpy Chops on his birth certificate, but I call him Bill

Stupid things I've called my children in the last 24 hours:

Chickpea
Tulip
Grumpy Chops
Fishface
Bearface
Petal
Darling
Short Stuff

I did not anticipate any of these being my children's nicknames, but there you go. It's an organic thing.

I am biased as we reverse engineered DS' name. Name we chose sounded like a nickname and as I'm a hypocrite we went against my own advice to name your kid whatever you're going to call him, and gave him a longer version for his birth certificate.

I'm afraid I don't give a single hoot if that pisses anybody off

(I realise I just used 'nn' as shorthand in my non-nickname example... Lazy!)

A shortening is v different to a nickname IMO. Joseph nn Joey not Joe is a shortening. A nickname is more silly, like Jemima known affectionately as Duck.