Naming DS: name him after my dad or use a name I love?

Firstly I am sorry for your loss lI like Theodore Arthur I have three DS's and each of there middle names is a family name and a memory and people do ask why what its significance is ds3 was nameless for a week I wanted to name him after my grandad and use his grandpas name as a middle name (both of them have passed) but my dh didn't approve of the combination and I understand why he likes both just not together, but still loved it so now he has our second choice first name and my fil's name is his middle name and he will know why as does anyone who asks if we have dc4 I shall use my granddad's name it is unisex so would work for a boy or a girl
Why not wait and decide when he's here he may not look like a Theo or an Arthur he may be a William or a Simon! Please try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy without this worry I know someone who was nameless for six weeks as his parents couldn't decide it's not unheard of waiting the six weeks

When is your baby due? You'll have up to 6 weeks after the birth to make a final decision. And even then, if you change your mind after registering the birth, it would be reasonably easy to change his name before his first birthday.

Hope you're getting lots of support from your partner and friends. Maybe you could contact Cruse if you're struggling?

Arthur is a lovely name , whether as a middle name or a first name with Theodore in the middle
Whichever you choose on the day
Though I prefer Arthur ! But hey , it's not up to me

I just wanted to add my view and say that Arthur is a brilliant name - I have met a couple of wonderful men called Arthur and both true individuals (young men not old btw). You will find a Theo in every class these days. But you shouldn't let it put you off if you love it.

I'd go for Theodore Arthur

Arthur non Art or Artie is a fabulous name. Less common than Theo which is v popular round here at the moment!

But you and your family will know his middle name and how honorable that is there is 5 girls including 1 of mine in my family who have the same middle name 3 boys have a family middle name 1 as a first so imo you dont have to go all out to remember and honour somebody. If you are not keen on Arthur would you consider Artie ?

sorry, that should have read "if you did too"

BTW. I do think Arthur is a great name.

If you did to then I'd say go for it. But not choosing it doesn't mean you are rejecting your dad

Sorry for your loss

I think that for children who have second names, then being chosen for a particular reason, becomes part of their "story", so I don't think you should worry that you aren't honouring your father enough.

I would go so far as to say that I really like the idea of middle names as tributes to people you love pr admire. I often wonder why people chose middle names just because they "go" with the first name.

I really like Arthur & think both Theodore Arthur & Arthur Theodore work well :) I would go for the name which you love most though.

My ds1 has my grandad's name as his middle & ds2 has my dad's (it is also my brother's middle name), my daughters' middle names are also significant. All have names which we love in first place though.

Sorry for your loss . In my family middle name is always a tribute name, my children are named after their grandparents and they are still alive. My kids love knowing why they have to their middle names and the they always feel connected to their grampys.

As an aside, did your Dad go as Arthur? My GF was an Arthur but was always known as Art. I always said if we had had another boy, his name would be Art

Firstly OP, sorry for your loss.

I felt exactly as you do now about giving my mum's name as the middle name, I basically didn't want it at all (to begin with) then I didn't want it "relegated" to an initial.

Where I come from, it's really common to call boys by their middle name. So you could call your boy Arthur Theodore but he could be known as "Theo"?

I don't particularly like my mum's name but it ended up working alliteratively with our "preferred" name.

Theodore Arthur OR Arthur Theodore both "work".

Just do what feels right for you. I know it's a cop-out answer but it was only when our baby was a week old we managed to settle on the name. So take your time and see how you feel x

Sorry for your loss, OP. I feel strongly about never naming children after family members, and the resultant spin offs with different family members then feeling they're 'owed' subsequent children being named after them. I would say that on the grounds of your sanity, unless you're prepared to have (at a minimum) little Linda (your mother's name), little Geoffrey (FIL) and Barbara (MIL), you should go with Theodore, which is gorgeous.

Both my DCs have family names as middle names, I think it's a lovely tribute.

Middle name is a lovely tribute.

Im so sorry for your loss. I agree with other posts use your dad's name as a middle name. This will allow your ds to be his own person but will also honour your dad. Both names go well together. It's so hard naming babies isn't it! Good luck x

PS meant to say our Theo is also Theodore.

Sorry that you have lost your dad recently. Theodore Arthur is a lovely name. May be slightly biased as have a Theo and love middle names which have real family significance.

What about Arthur Theodore Surname and use Thoedore/Theodore day to day? A couple of people I know go by their middle name and always have done.

I am due to give birth to our little boy in a few weeks, my dad died two years ago, and DS will have his name as a second middle name. I think a middle name is a lovely gesture and totally fine for you to use Theo as a first name

My Dad died when I was a teenager. My DS is Theodore known as Theo and has the same middle name as my dad. I don't worry about the middle name being forgotten about as the people who don't know his middle name also wouldn't know it's significance anyway. As long as we know and DS knows when he's old enough to understand then I think the meanings there.

Sorry for your loss. I think you're grieving and you want to honour your father, which is understandable, but I don't think using his name as your son's first name is the right way to do it. I agree with PPs who suggested using it as a middle name. And why not think of another way to honour him as well? Plant a tree, get a bench with a memorial plaque... Or something else!