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Is it silly to give my children different surnames, when from the same Father?!

54 replies

clashofclanswidow · 07/02/2016 20:53

Would like opinions please...as I just don't know anymore!

Long story short, I'm 25 weeks pregnant and ex left me for someone else 4 weeks ago. We already have a two year old together, who has his surname.

I wanted my kids to have the same surnames, even after we split as seemed like common sense but recently things have been getting worse...

He has left me in a lot of financial trouble with no offer to help, has already blobbed on seeing our 2yo and ended up out with her...and he never ask after the wellbeing of his unborn baby (despite witnessing me having breakdowns)

I think the final straw came tonight. I have asked him for our scan pictures back last week and tonight, got told he didn't know where they were as his bedroom was a mess?!

It sounds to me like they've just been thrown somewhere and if his actions didn't already demonstrate this, I can't help feeling like he doesn't give a toss about this baby at all. He's already admitted to not bonding with her.

My family have asked me to reconsider giving my baby his name and now I am seriously debating this myself but is it silly to have two kids to the same man but give them different surnames?!

I just feel like when she is born, he won't be around much anyway.

Obviously there is still a lot of tension, so I don't want to make any rash decisions and there is still plenty of time to decide but going on what I've said...wwyd? TIA xx

OP posts:
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MyBigFatGreekYoghurt · 07/02/2016 21:06

Change your eldest childs surname if possible but DEFINITELY give new baby your name.

cornwallsharon · 07/02/2016 21:04

Firstly I'm very sorry for your situation. I would be tempted to investigate changing your eldest child's surname so all 3 of you have the same name. They are so young they won't notice - however I'm not sure what the legal position is and if you can do that without your ex's consent. Hope all works out.

Finallyonboard · 07/02/2016 21:01

I'd be trying to compromise with your ex. If he'll agree now to your older child legally using both surnames or you'll only register your youngest with your name. It's in their interest to have the same surname IMO.

VerBot · 07/02/2016 21:01

I would personally make sure that both the siblings have the same surname, they are only 2 years apart and I think they will appreciate it when they are older/at school. Is it possible that you could change your older child's surname?

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