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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Polite ways of not answering the "What baby name are you thinking of?" question

82 replies

goodnightdarthvader1 · 02/02/2016 20:05

Apologies if this has been asked before. I'm expecting PFB in 2 weeks, and have noticed an increase in people asking what name we've "chosen". I try not to answer by saying "Oh, we have a couple in mind..." and change the subject, but twice recently I've had people persist and ask what the name is, so I've had to bluntly say we're not telling people. Is there a more polite way to deflect and shut down the question?

I tried to Google, thinking there would be loads of articles about this but can't find anything...

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MooseyMouse · 02/02/2016 22:24

Make up a couple of names. "We quite like Louise or Michael but I change my mind every two minutes. How did you choose your children's names?"

Fannycraddock79 · 02/02/2016 22:08

Er new year why would that be a joke HmmWink

ICJump · 02/02/2016 21:45

I tend to tell people names that are low down the list. But with DS 2. The name we chose wasn't on the list. None of the list names were right.

It's pretty rude some hassling you. Right up there with when family insisted we tell them the sex. We didn't know

Original poster
goodnightdarthvader1 · 02/02/2016 21:28

Some great responses here Grin

This may out me to people I've told this story to, but lljkk we started off telling everyone, until we got the comment "we know someone with that name, she's a drug addict". Made me so annoyed I figured it was better to keep quiet than risk another stupid comment and me reflexively punching someone in the face.

It's not all mums, sadly!

OP posts:
KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 02/02/2016 21:24

I'd go for faux shock and say:

"Name? We have to name it?"

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 02/02/2016 21:22

"We're naming him/her after you."

INeedACheeseSlicer · 02/02/2016 21:21

I used to just say we hadn't decided yet.
And sometimes I would tell them a name we definitely wouldn't be using: "I really liked but DH hated it", or "DH suggested but I think it's a bit much!" (DH suggested some truly awful names, so mentioning one of those would almost certainly make the conversation descend into hilarity) and they would forget to inquire further into the actual shortlist.

BeautifulLiar · 02/02/2016 21:09

35 weeks here with a name chosen. When I've been in your situation I've just reeled off a couple of the names we've liked and vetoed...

crumpet · 02/02/2016 21:07

I just said that i'd wait to see what it looked like before deciding on a name. It happened to be true not only because we chose not to find out the sex of the baby in advance, but also because a friend had been determined to call her baby one name, and when he was born immediately chose another as the first name didn't fit.

lljkk · 02/02/2016 21:03

Why not just tell them the actual names you are thinking about, not a state secret is it? Isn't that how most people reply?

Mind you, I'd save a few for people who are pushy about knowing, like...

"Fido. It goes well with our pet cats Rex and Spot"

TendonQueen · 02/02/2016 20:48

The crazy name strategy, with a straight face, and get offended if they don't believe you're going to call the baby Anaconda.

ChineseDragonLady · 02/02/2016 20:40

We have a few in mind but we aren't sharing them until after the baby is born.

LordOfMisrule · 02/02/2016 20:37

Tell them its a secret! Only a complete idiot would continue to ask after they've heard that. Then you tell them how rude they are, if they do persist.

HippyPottyMouth · 02/02/2016 20:36

My stock response was 'DH was angling for Tiberius, after Captain Kirk, but since we found it was a girl we're back to the drawing board.'

MoggieMaeEverso · 02/02/2016 20:25

Just saw your last post... Oh goodness if it's other mums you have nothing to worry about! They've all been through the same thing.

Congratulations on PFB. You'll be a great mum.

MoggieMaeEverso · 02/02/2016 20:23

The reason that you haven't found any articles about this issue is that it's not considered rude to say "We're keeping the names a secret for now."

Loads of people do it and I can assure you it's really, really not considered impolite! Just make sure you smileSmile

ThursdayLastWeek · 02/02/2016 20:23

I just say 'I'm not telling you' with a grin Grin
Especially to my mother!

GloriaHotcakes · 02/02/2016 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DingbatsFur · 02/02/2016 20:19

"We think the name Chlamydia is lovely, or Hitler for a boy."

Justmuddlingalong · 02/02/2016 20:18

If it's a boy 'Willy'
If it's a girl 'Fanny' Grin

Original poster
goodnightdarthvader1 · 02/02/2016 20:17

Ooh, "we haven't decided yet" is good.

The trouble with a shortlist is that people ask for all the names on the shortlist. I think they just like to hear them out of curiosity Hmm

I have no real problem with being blunt, but I'm trying to make new mummy friends locally so don't want to piss anyone off if there's a way to avoid that (I'm not the nicest person usually...)

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 02/02/2016 20:17

Say we aren't sure yet or even better that you will decide once you actually see your baby.

Duckdeamon · 02/02/2016 20:16

What's wrong with "we're not discussing it with anyone".

Berthatydfil · 02/02/2016 20:15

Thing is if they are rude enough to persist after you politely deflect the question then I think you would be excused for bluntly saying you're not telling and could they please accept that and stop asking.

MyFriendsCallMeOh · 02/02/2016 20:14

Tell them you're thinking of using their name so when Janet asks you, you can say "we really like Janet, even for a boy". Walk away before they can think of a response.