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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Is it ever acceptable to tell new parents you think a possible name choice is, um, not a good idea?

10 replies

MitziKinsky · 15/10/2015 20:04

A relative I love dearly has recently had a baby Smile No name has been chosen, but one name they've said is a possible, is the name of the baby's great grandfather.

Now, I happen to know the baby's great grandfather was not a nice person. Very impatient. Not particularly kind. I don't think I would be going to far too say he was verbally abusive to his family on a daily basis.

The great grandfathers's widow has not seemed too enthusiastic about the idea.

Should I just keep completely quiet, and find it difficult to utter the name for ever more? Or should I point out now that the deceased relative wasn't a very nice person. Is that interfering too much?

Or should I just suggest they Google the name, including surname, then sit back and let them realise it's the same name as an Australian murderer?

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mrsschu · 19/10/2015 21:55

It's ok to tell them about the murderer IMO. Incidentally how do you know about the murderer? Is it someone you'd heard of or do you know from googling the name? I wouldn't say anything about the great grandfather. If they want to call their child after him and aren't worried or didn't consider him a nasty person, then I would leave it alone.

SolsburyHell · 19/10/2015 19:53

If it's a nice name it wouldn't bother me, it doesn't mean baby is going to follow in the same footsteps as either nasty grandad or Aussie murderer, let the baby turn it into a happy name for you.

It would bother me more if it was an awful/stupid name.

mathanxiety · 19/10/2015 19:48

I think you said the right thing. You could also ask the parents to ask the widow of the man how she feels if she hasn't already been consulted.

The baby might end up 'redeeming' the name, replacing memories of the nasty old man with happier ones of a little boy.

AuntieStella · 16/10/2015 13:55

Is the 'not nice' great grandfather actually the murderer?

If it's an exact match (first name and surname) then you should tell them, neutrally, just to make sure they know it's the same, and then leave them to decide if Aussie notoriety is significant wherever they are.

Or if it's a name that is uncommon, and therefore the murderer will be the first association, then I think you should warn in the same way. (on the general grounds that people will think murderer when they hear Myra, but won't when they hear Rose unless the surname is West).

But being chicken is OK really. You've not burned bridges if they do choose it, and by the time the baby is here you can work up something g a bit more positive to say.

BondJayneBond · 16/10/2015 13:52

I think I'd give them a heads up about the murderer, particularly if it's an uncommon name.

MidnightVelvetthe3rd · 16/10/2015 13:49

Is the baby actually named for the great grandfather or is it coincidental?

If the baby will be named for the man then they should probably know.

It depends whether the murderer was called a name that's very common, like John or Dave say rather than Bartholemew Murderer which will instantly connect them.

MrsCaecilius · 16/10/2015 12:44

Tricky. I have a friend who has chosen a very 'unusual' name for her dd, one I worry will make the child's life a misery in the future. I've been diplomatically neutral on it, my DP thinks I'm a wimp and should have said something.

Original poster
MitziKinsky · 15/10/2015 20:49

Weirdly I've just been consulted!

Ever get the feeling someone you know is a MNetter? Blush

I gave a long silence, then said "I wouldn't, but it's nothing to do with me".

chicken

OP posts:
scatterthenuns · 15/10/2015 20:23

I'd give them the murderer heads up, but not the great grandad one.

VimFuego101 · 15/10/2015 20:08

If I was about to name my child after a murderer I would appreciate a heads up. How well do you know them? Do you think they'd take it well if you told them to google it?