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Baby names

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Original poster

Help Please??

35 replies

vintagerosesxo · 31/08/2015 15:59

So, I am a few years off from having kids, but, I'm having quite the problem with my lists.

I love the name Betty, and have done for quite a while now. The only thing is, my best friend of four years, who I usually take my name lists to and discuss names with first, is very upset with me and mad at me for wanting to use it. Her grandmother, who passed away when she was 12 (she's now almost 23) was named Elizabeth but went by Betty and Bet, and for about two years now, she's actually called me insensitive, disrespectful, heartless, and tried to talk me out of using it, because of this. I do love Betsy, but she still thinks that it's close to Betty and bordering on disrespectful, and she loathes Bessie, so I sort of gave up the fight.

I mentioned this all the other day and asked her if like, she was ok about it now, and she said yes, and that she didn't remember calling me anything the previous times I mentioned it, and apologised. Then, today, during a fight about how I feel that she disrespects my feelings and my name lists and everything, she said that she was lying then because it was what I wanted to hear (apparently), and again, that I'm disrespectful.

So, then I opened my mouth and said "well she wasn't my grandmother...", and apparently now I'm heartless, disrespectful, and about 19 other things. I'm still confused though...

This is my best friend who's opinion I do usually value highly. She's calling me heartless and disrespectful, but I really don't know how I am? Her grandmother died long before she and I met, and I've always found the name Betty cute, but I feel like I'm being controlled at the moment. I didn't mean to disrespect her with what I said, but I am seriously frustrated by the fact that she is so quick to call me things like that over a name, when, if she were to use Bonnie or Valerie (my grandmothers), I wouldn't have a problem at all.

Am I really being disrespectful and heartless because I want to use the name Betty, or is she being irrational?

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NerrSnerr · 01/09/2015 00:32

You may not be friends with her when you have a child so calm down. Are you with the father of this future Betty? Does he get a say?

DotaDay · 01/09/2015 00:30

Have you posted before about you baby name lists?

Are you American?

StevieJo · 01/09/2015 00:21

Yes falling out over an, as yet, imaginary child's name is stupid. I had a similar situation about 2 years ago. I was engaged to my now ex and starting to plan the wedding. I had chosen a venue and one of my closest friends got bent out of shape because she wanted the venue for her wedding....she was not even seeing anyone at the time let alone engaged. I tried to be reasonable, we don't have mutual friends or family who would be attending both and our weddings won't be near each other so what does it matter? She ended our friendship and now it's 2 years later the engagement was broken off and our friendship was ruined over something that never even eventuated, not that I regret cutting ties with someone who would flip out over something so ridiculous, or leaving my ex for that matter but yes, moral of the story...don't let stupid things that may not even be an issue in the future come between two people who care about eachother.

shoopshoopsong · 31/08/2015 23:46

Don't worry - by the sounds of it i doubt you'll still be friends when/if you do have children

Missdee2014 · 31/08/2015 23:41

Oh dear ????????????????????

SmugairleRoin · 31/08/2015 23:35

I don't see anything necessarily wrong with making name lists tbh, but surely this row with a friend is over the top? And then posting to a baby name forum about it...I could understand if she was very pregnant but not now.

OP, you keep making your name lists if you like. But dont lose a friend over it. Its not like you need to book the name or anything.

SheWhoMustBe · 31/08/2015 23:30

I'm wondering if you might find some other more worthwhile lists to make when you're 19, as opposed to names for babies as yet unconceived? Try: your dream jobs; countries you'd like to visit; books you'd like to read (or write); interesting ways you'd like to raise money for charity........I could go on. Confused

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 31/08/2015 23:24

By al means think about it Stevie, but fall out with your bff over a baby that doesn't exist? That's crazy.
The OP doesn't even know whether she can have babies yet.

PermetsTu · 31/08/2015 23:21

Is this a dare? How many times you can type disrespectful before it loses all meaning?

PurpleDaisies · 31/08/2015 23:14

My goodness. What a petty non problem to make such a big deal about. I remember arguing with my sisters about whose future horse would be called Silver Shadow. We were 8 and 6. You are too old for this.

If you and your best friend usually get on really well just park this issue until one of you has a baby you need to name.

StevieJo · 31/08/2015 23:04

I agree that you shouldn't allow a name to start a major argument when neither of you is pregnant but lots of people think about names/make lists before they're pregnant...I'm about 4-5 years off fertility treatment and with medical issues it may not even work but I still like to look at, think about and discuss names/combos and have since I was 14. I don't see anything wrong with that but again I would never start an argument over any name until I am actually pregnant and know the gender.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 31/08/2015 22:58

Have to confess Cosmic me and DP have a list, but we are TTC

CosmicDespot · 31/08/2015 22:49

Do people actually make baby name lists when they're not actually pregnant? What on earth for?

redshoeblueshoe · 31/08/2015 22:47

Iliveinalighthouse I think your right

johnImonlydancing · 31/08/2015 22:46

This is ridiculous. What everyone else said: wait till you actually have any intention of sprogging up before worrying about it! I used to do this (make lists of names) when I was 14, grew out of it well before 20. Next baby name list I made was when I was actually pregnant. Honestly, get a hobby.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 31/08/2015 22:38

I feel like I'm reading a thread about 2 four year old babies playing house and they're arguing over what to call their dolls.

scatterthenuns · 31/08/2015 22:37

At 19, do you even have a partner for life? Will you be considering his name choices too?

Vixxfacee · 31/08/2015 22:33

This thread is hilarious. You both sound ridiculous. Betty and betsy are both horrible and yes it would be wrong for you to use the name. It doesn't matter anyway as neither of you are pregnant.
Hmm

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 31/08/2015 22:29

Oh for goodness sake. Get a grip and stop arguing.

You may never have kids. One or both of you.

You may not have girls.

You may have lost contact when you do.

Your partner may hate the name.

reuset · 31/08/2015 22:27

As somebody else said, it's not worth arguing about right now. Postpone the discussion for a few years!

reuset · 31/08/2015 22:25

So, I am a few years off from having kids, but, I'm having quite the problem with my lists.

You've done lists years before Shock Why?

GloriaHotcakes · 31/08/2015 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 31/08/2015 22:17

Stop having actual arguments with your BFF over the name of babies that don't exist yet. Barking.

SmugairleRoin · 31/08/2015 22:10

Do what I did and write them down in notebooks, then forget about them for years. Bonus of that is you can laugh at the names you picked in years to come! When I was 18 I was all set on having a daughter named October Rose...

Hassled · 31/08/2015 18:58

How is this even an issue? When you're 8 months pregnant with a girl, then it can be an issue.