Help! Picked my name but a friend may use it first!

Still call her violet. It doesn't matter really long term. Tell your friend that that's what you are going to call your child and you won't be offended if she wants to use the name too.

Alternatives if you sadly feel too awkward
Scarlett
Charlotte
Bridget
Odette
Celeste
Verity
Fleurette
Harriet
Valerie
Vera
Veronica
Victoria
Vanessa

Vivienne?

Valentina?

They live 200 miles away? Forget about it.

Personally I prefer Viola (pronounced similar to Violet, not Vi-OH-la). It's not so close to Violent and a little more unusual, I think.

Violet is gorgeous!! I think you'll regret not using it looking back (as you'll realise who cares, not a biggie, you don't live with other person so really isn't an issue) more than you would regret using it (if at all) - as still loving the name and thinking of it longingly if you don't do it would be a real shame. Go for it!!

Well "crazy popular" if you think 703 Violets out of 364000 baby girls born in 2013 is "crazy popular"!

It is on the increase though.

I have an unusual name and hate meeting other people with the same name - it is 'my' name and it feels strange to share it IYSWIM. But we chose a popular name for DS and I love meeting other children with the same name, it's like they have a common bond. Not sure how he will feel about it when he is older - we chose a name with nickname options we like so he can go by a more unusual nickname if he wants to be more unique.

Long way of saying I'd pick Violet if that's the name you love!

I know 3 but one is spelt Violette (pn Violet) but think you can pronounce it Vee - o - lette

Use the name. Friendships don't usually last forever but your time with your DD will.

You don't even describe the other pg mum as a friend, just someone you know quite well. I wouldn't spend another second worrying about it.

A very good (but not local) friend was pg at the same time as me, due within days of each other. She knew she was having a girl, we kept it as a surprise. We (me & DP) picked out 1 boy & 1 girl name very early on in the pregnancy. I saw her at about 7mo pregnant and she told me the name she'd chosen and it was our girl's name! (one of those "getting more popular" names)

I was torn, but decided that although we see each other several times a year it wasn't too much of a problem if our kids shared a name.

Then had a hormonal change of heart in the week before my due date to a totally different name (not because they had chosen the same name, but I can't deny that it had some influence).

Then I had a boy anyway.

Sorry, not that helpful. But I do think that if you live that far apart then having 2 kids with the same name (even a slightly uncommon one) isn't the end of the world. And it's not really surprising that friends sometimes have similar tastes in things.

That is annoying!
Though I think if they live so far away and won't see each other that much I'd still use it if it was the one name I had my heart set on.

Alternatives:
Beatrice
Florence
Martha
Scarlett
Anya
Lydia
Jemima
Athena
Thea
Francesca
Rosalie
Coraline
Harriet
Louisa
Juliette
Arabella

violet massively popular round here too, I had been considering it for my soon to be born DD2 but know of at least 2 that have been born just this year my DD1 has a popular name and there are 3 of them in her year at school which means she has to be referred to by surname initial too which annoys her no end bless her!

Go for it, Violet's such a pretty name that it's understandable someone else likes it too.

TBH when I hear Violet I either think of (a) parma violets or (b) Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Ianthe is a lovely name :)

Violet is crazy popular at the moment. I work with kids and I know about 12 Violets.

Oh how frustrating, of all the names in the world, she has to like the name you do.
If it were me I choose a different name if she does opt for Violet but this isn't about me.
If you really like the name then technically there's nothing stopping you from using it. No one owns name, plus. Violet is now becoming very popular so the chances are she'll be one of many Violets in the class.
There's no hard or fast rule here.

Viola
Ianthe
Ivy
Iris
Fleur

Violet is definitely quite popular at the moment.

Go for it ....

Realistically they aren't going to spend their whole lives together though!
Is it a friend you spend a lot of time with?
If feel differently if it was a sister/best friend but someone you know "quite well" id not worry

Just use it!!
It's a beautiful name and your heart is set in it.
We've got about 3567854 Alices in my family, a few johns... More than one Charlotte. It really doesn't natter!!

I have a feeling there will be a lot of little Violet's running round, that and Penelope seems to be everywhere.