Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Unflip

1 2 3

Original poster

Is this silly...

61 replies

LorryHen · 12/05/2015 13:54

Giving a child your maiden name as a middle name?

I don't want to seem self indulgent, but me and OH aren't married (heathen) and I think it would be a nice way to link my name with my child.

The name we have picked is Joel Hughie Lastname...

My other concern is that my last name isn't common but it might be a bit chavvy as a middle name.

Any thoughts are welcome..

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

tilder · 13/05/2015 18:57

My kids have my name as a middle name and then their fathers surname. I really regret doing it like this. My name is lost and the kids don't really 'own it', if that makes sense. I wouldn't have hyphenated the names as the combination would be weird. An amalgamation of our surnames isn't for me either.

Not sure what if would choose in retrospect. Sorry, not very helpful!

Iggi999 · 13/05/2015 13:16

WindMeUpAndLetMeGo · 13/05/2015 13:00

DS1 has my maiden name as his middle name, I know a couple others who have done it too, so I think it's nice to keep your name in there.

Jackieharris · 13/05/2015 12:56

All my family have the mother's maiden name as middle names!

Hakluyt · 13/05/2015 12:54

Sadly not, Iggy- it's only dp's name that becomes a contraceptive....mine is blandly unexceptionable!

Iggi999 · 13/05/2015 11:40

Hakluyt am now trying to picture your dcs' name - are you the Copper Doyles? The Cooper Coils? The Contraceptive Bills?

blowinahoolie · 13/05/2015 10:45

Very normal thing to do in Scotland.

Original poster

LorryHen · 13/05/2015 10:40

Hmmm I feel everyone has given me too many options haha.

Not sure about hyphenating, surname would be 14 letter which just seems too long. Besides I don't think our last names 'go' together.

I think I'll keep mine as a middle name and OH's as the surname. My name is a better middle name than OH's... Still not 100% though!

OP posts:

Chrysanthemum5 · 13/05/2015 10:28

It's pretty common in Scotland. I did it with the DCs, and we talk about when they are older they can use DH's surname, mine, or hyphenate it.

I did consider hyphenating it, and sometimes I do think we should just do it now. But at the time I was in a bit of a fog and just went for DH's surname with mine in the middle.

WomanScorned · 13/05/2015 10:25

Lol, Hakluyt.

You can't plan for every scenario, though, can you? DS2 was a baby when the worst ever X Factor contestant appeared - with the exact same name. We would have had to change it to mine, by just dropping his dad's surname, had he won instead of fading back in to obscurity!

WomanScorned · 13/05/2015 10:21

As a teen, my brother's friends called him 'erection' and me 'little erection'. It's not a great name, honestly. But marginally less craps than my husband's!

Hakluyt · 13/05/2015 10:20

I have to say I had to grit my teeth a bit about dp's contribution to our children's hyphenated name- one letter change makes it into a form of contraception. It'd be unfortunate if our children ever met, WS!

MitzyLeFrouf · 13/05/2015 10:20

A classic example of what happens if you don't hyphenate. You become The Smiths, and the woman's name vanishes.

Nope.

My name is second and if a surname is dropped it's invariably dh's.

WomanScorned · 13/05/2015 10:15

My brothers share my 'special, hard to pronounce, hard to spell surname' btw. One gave it to his son, one didn't. One is never known by his first name, only ever by a nickname derived from our surname. It means erection.

Hakluyt · 13/05/2015 10:14

Hmm-I might let you pass, WomanScorned.

You are the first person I have ever heard say that they gave their baby their name because it was nicer than the father's!

WomanScorned · 13/05/2015 10:10

Not sure what you mean, Hakluyt. I suspect you're doubting my feminist credentials.
DS1 has my surname, for similar reasons- his dad's just doesn't sound very good. I kept my name and we gave him my name, even though we were married. Am I vindicated?

Hakluyt · 13/05/2015 09:46

"Dh didn't want to add my surname to his so he just kept the usual "smith" so we are the smith family but me and dds are the foreign smiths..."

A classic example of what happens if you don't hyphenate. You become The Smiths, and the woman's name vanishes. My SIL comes from a country with the same tradition- and her children now never use the element of their name that comes from her- they just use their father's name. She wishes she had insisted on the hyphen- she didn't understand the implications. Incidentally, it makes her particularly sad as they are now very English people and she feels her culture is being erased as well.

Hakluyt · 13/05/2015 09:36

Nearly 50 posts before the "special hard to pronounce, hard to spell last names that only women ever have" came up!

WomanScorned · 13/05/2015 09:28

DS2 has my surname as his middle name and his dad's surname for no other reason than his dad's surname sounds better and is more common, so isn't constantly misspelled, like mine is.
I think it's a nice idea.

Brandysnapper · 12/05/2015 23:00

I've have done this for my dcs, though with hindsight I actually wish I'd double-barrelled instead.

Newbiecrafter · 12/05/2015 22:56

Both my children, DS and DS have my surname as their middle names. I'm also a heathen, ;-)

pieceofpurplesky · 12/05/2015 22:50

I've done it. Not chavvy at all

fattymcfatfat · 12/05/2015 22:49

my DS has my mums maiden name as a middle name and my dad's name as middle name too . (the DCs have my surname)
DD has my mums name as her name,
and DS2 has half of one brothers name (sort of) as his forename and my other brothers middle name as his middle name!
I kinda like my family a bit

NickySummerbee · 12/05/2015 22:43

nochurn my parents tossed a coin when I was born - my mum won &
I got her surname, & my dad's surname as a middle name.

My DC have my surname as a middle name & DH surname as their last name, tbh I wish we had hyphenated but at the time I thought it didn't matter as much to me as it does.

carbolicsoaprocked · 12/05/2015 22:43

It's traditional to do this in Scotland, I would be doing it (even though we are married and I took DH's name) if my maiden name didn't sound ridiculous with DH's! Go for it.

Unflip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread