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Baby names

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Original poster

My close friend hates my baby's name.

92 replies

butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 17:33

Just a bit of a rant really.

I'm pregnant again after a miscarriage and since the first pregnancy we've had our boy and girl names picked out.
20 week scan we discovered we're having a little boy ( Grin !) in a few weeks time, and we have been calling him by his name to each other (me and DH) the whole pregnancy. It's what we see him as and know him as and we adore the name.

Anyway a very close friend of mine asked his name and we told her and her DP... they both pulled faces and tried to get us to change our minds?! Kept on suggesting other names, then when I said we're not looking for alternatives, this is his name.. She said reluctantly "no... use it as a middle name instead then maybe?"

Erm. WTF.

It's an unusual name, more common as a surname but certainly not a ridiculous "out there" name. Also even if it were, what right has she got to try to get us to change it!?

I asked my DM and DSis what they thought of the name, not letting on it was the final name, and they both said they loved it despite the fact they're both quite reserved and tend to favour classic names.

When he's born he's still having it, but I'll always know this friend hates it and tbh I've been feeling like shit ever since said conversation. I'm so shocked by this reaction, has anyone else had a similar experience?

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tabulahrasa · 13/10/2014 21:18

If it helps any...I'd only try and persuade good friends out of a name, acquaintances I'd just say oh yes, Cabbage is unnusual and just laugh after I'd left Grin

But, I can't see the issue with Sullivan.

Original poster
butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 21:06

Tabulah That's a good point which has made me keep zipped until he's actually here now! Although we presented it that it was his name we had chosen rather than "what do you think of this" kind of conversation, but totally see what you're saying.

Olaffles I know how you feel! Not actually about this friend in particular as although she offended me I couldn't stand for her not to be in our lives - but there are other "friends" who I think I was more putting up with than enjoying spending time with. Now with Sullivan coming along I feel like a cleanse is in order as I don't want these people around him!

Ooh will you tell us yours pieceoftoast? Smile

Thank you again for the positive responses!

Exactly squoosh I think that's exactly what shocked me, it's ok if not everyone loves the name as it's not one of those super popular ones, but the response was so not what I expected!

I've never heard of Jethro but love it! I like that it ends in an o Smile

OP posts:
Behoove · 13/10/2014 21:00

I think it's a nice name too.

squoosh · 13/10/2014 20:55

I don't like Sullivan but if a pregnant friend told me this was the chosen name I'd say 'oh, that's lovely' as that's the polite thing to do.

OpiesOldLady · 13/10/2014 20:55

wantto I love Jethro too, and that was on our boys list as well! In the end we went for Tate which really suits him.

slippermaiden · 13/10/2014 20:30

I love that name, so you go for it!

wanttosinglikemarycoughlan · 13/10/2014 20:26

I love Seth too
I also like Jethro
It is incredibly rude to make those comments when you said you had already chosen the name and didn't ask for opinions

TessTackle · 13/10/2014 20:24

I love it OP: stunning.

pieceoftoast · 13/10/2014 20:24

Sullivan is a brilliant name! Sully! I love it! We are also expecting DS2 and have had him named since we found out the sex but DH and I are keeping it to ourselves as we did with DS1's name; MIL very likely to be critical and if we announce it's his name after he's here she'll have no say.

Sully! Absolutely love it! Really unusual imo but very lovely.

Olaffles · 13/10/2014 20:23

I had a very similar situation OP when I was pregnant from a very good friend. I'm now not in contact and that seemed to be the start of it, realising that the friend was so rude and didn't have my interests at heart. Maybe I blew it out of all proportion, but when the long awaited baby arrived I decided I didn't want negativity in our lives. Shallow maybe, but how I felt at the time!

tabulahrasa · 13/10/2014 20:22

If a friend told me a name they'd picked while they were still pregnant and I thought it was truly an awful name...I would say so, because at that point they can still change their mind, it's not too late to save poor baby Adolf or Myra.

So I'd imagine she was actually trying to be a friend.

But, Sullivan is ok, so she's clearly just got bad taste, even if she means well.

Original poster
butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 20:20

Wow all these comments are so lovely to read, thank you so much everyone!

sidsgranny that made me laugh, my Nan's advice was always "Oh tell them to bugger off!" Grin

Voyager I love unusual names! I bet they're beautiful, shame you can't let on!

DearGirl Oh no! That gives me hope that the name will at least grow on her though when it's attached to the little man Smile

OpiesOldLady Seth was our second choice and may well be DS2s name if we ever have a second! (Or maybe even DS1 if he doesn't suit Sullivan?) Beautiful name. Ooh I will agree, the hormones definitely make it feel more insulting!

I'm so glad it doesn't seem to be as "out there" as she made out, we were going to keep it regardless but these comments have made me think her reaction was more daft and bizaar than offensive now! Grin

OP posts:
OpiesOldLady · 13/10/2014 20:16

Oh and I love Sullivan btw.

OpiesOldLady · 13/10/2014 20:15

I made the mistake of telling my group of friends the name we had chosen for our DS - Seth. They hated it and were incredibly vocal about it. I was devastated - I was hugely pregnant and hormonal. As it was, when he was born he really didn't suit Seth, but that was beside the point.

wanttosinglikemarycoughlan · 13/10/2014 20:14

I love Sullivan and either Sully or Van are great
And I usually dislike all the names on these threads

CadmiumRed · 13/10/2014 20:10

Has she shown herself to be completely lacking in taste and discernment in any other ways, or is it just baby names she has no clue about?

Amazed she was so rude!

Take no notice.

DearGirl · 13/10/2014 20:04

When my best friend was pregnant she told both me and another friend; and we both weren't fans of the name and said so Shock Hmm however now we are the proud godmothers of said baby and we love him [and his name] to bits.

FloatingPorpoise · 13/10/2014 20:04

Like it too - don't change the name change the friend I would never have thought of it, it's a really nice, but unusual name which is rare for boys' names.

VoyagerII · 13/10/2014 20:03

Sorry can't reveal them, as I would totally out myself! But I can tell you that although they are even rarer than Sullivan (which I also love) most reactions are positive, and they seem to like their names too. Hence why I'm telling you not to waver! (Not that you are)

MaryWestmacott · 13/10/2014 20:02

oh lord I was expecting something terrible from your OP! I'm not a fan of surnames for first names, but that's just me, it's hardly offensive/bully material!

She's not really a friend, just be a bit busy until little Sully arrives, then announce it, get lots of "how lovely" comments and just ignore her.

sidsgranny · 13/10/2014 19:58

Wow, I love that name! Not one I ever would have thought of but really lovely. Tell your friend to bugger off ! (Am wishing I was able to have DS2 now....!)

Original poster
butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 19:58

Now I'm curious to find out your DCs names Voyager!

OP posts:
slithytove · 13/10/2014 19:57

I like it, and I think if you put it forward as a "this is his name" as opposed to "we are considering", then it is definitely rude to venture a negative opinion, let alone repeatedly try and talk you out of it.

Our DS was named at the 20 week scan too.

Original poster
butterbeerfloat · 13/10/2014 19:57

Thank you so much! DH always calls him Sully, as does the only other friend I've told his name too. So far I'm the only one that calls him Sullivan!

You're so right VeryStressedMum that's exactly why we decided not to change it even after their reaction, we love it and that's what counts!

OP posts:
VoyagerII · 13/10/2014 19:55

Well as a parent of DC with unusual names I have had every reaction under the sun. My mum was horrified at DD's name but it just made me more sure! :o Go with what you love. Your friend is rude, even if she can't muster up any approval it's not on to start telling you not to use it! However, you might find she gets used to it and apologises later when she realises it's a fab name for your baby :)

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