Arguments with dp over names and surnames

E.g if you both like the names John and James but he prefers John and you prefer James, then James wins.

I agree baby should have your surname unless he marries you and I also agree you should get the final say on a name as you're carrying the baby and giving birth. That's not to say his opinion isn't important, I just agree with you that your opinion carries a little more weight.

Well, having a different surname to your DC really doesn't make any difference WRT school, doctors etc, they are very accustomed to it nowadays. You could argue that as you get to be the main carer it would be a generous thing to let them have his surname. There's no real right or wrong about it. You must choose a first name that you both agree on though, there is no need for one person's wish to override the others on this.

Your surname but you should agree on first name rather than just "consider" his ideas (unless he's being completely unreasonable and digging his heels in).

Me and my partner are not married and I would never have though that its my final choice for our childs first name. Men do not have the choice of being able to be pregnant so its very unfair to suggest that you get the final decision as you are the pregnant one.

At the end of the day how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Can you not double barrel? or have his surname as your baby's middle name.

And if you want to marry him- propose! (Still doesn't mean you need to change your name though...)

I agree that the surname should be yours, but you both need to agree on a first name.

DD has my surname- we disagreed about it when I was pregnant, and I would have put my foot down and just insisted, but DP eventually backed down. I suggested that he choose the middle name, maybe using a name from his family, which he did.

We both vetoed each other's first (and second and third and fourth) choices for both boys and girls first names, but worked our way down very long lists and eventually settled on something we both really liked.

Yes, next time he says you are just like his ex, point out that he is the common denominator.

I agree. Surname should be yours, but reach agreement on first name. Also, middle name can be a family name of his if bub is having your surname.

You two need to sort your communication out. This is the first of MANY parenting decisions you will be making together. You need to learn to work together. No blaming you for being "like the ex". Even if you are that's his tough crap for choosing someone just like his last partner. No running off to the Internet to validate your side of the argument. Just talk to your partner and reach agreements and compromises.

Baby should have your surname.

You should both agree on first name.

And this putting a ring on it nonsense really demeans women by the way. Like you are his for the take if he should so wish. Marriage wise.

You shouldn't get the final decision over the first name. That's incredibly unfair. It's not as if he can go through the 9 months of pregnancy himself, even if he wants to. But it's still his child and he deserves 50% of the name decision, along with you.

I think you have an absolute right to insist the child has your surname. Why shouldn't he/ she? However I think you should equally be happy with the first name, so you don't get to pick something he's meh about just because you love it. You both need to love it.

Personally I wouldn't compromise on the surname, but the first name you should agree on.