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Original poster

Tradition for using mother's maiden name as a middle name?

36 replies

StetsonsAreCool · 30/06/2014 21:23

Disclaimer: am 15 weeks and bordering on narcoleptic, so apologies if I don't reply tonight.

We're trying to find names for DC2, due at Christmas, and we're drawing a complete blank.

MIL is Scottish and her MN is, I think, her mum's maiden name. DH would like to use her MN for this baby's MN if it's a girl. Can we use half a tradition like that? In that, it will skip a generation and then not be either mine or Mil's MN?

Full name would be Maggie (or Margaret) Mercer Joy Surname. Joy would be for my Nan, whose middle name it was supposed to be if her dad hadn't got pissed on the way to the registry office and forgot it!

First name still up for debate, we have numerous stupid self imposed rules :)

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Fairy18 · 21/03/2018 17:14

Hi

BlueStarsAtNight · 01/07/2014 07:03

I think it sounds great, flows really nicely, and it's nice that it has a link to both sides of the family.

I think you're getting too caught up in the tradition side of it- you're basically using your MIL's middle name. It could have been Sarah, or Rose for example, and you'd probably still want to use it. It just happens to be a bit more unusual and stem from a surname.

Guin1 · 01/07/2014 04:54

We used my grandmother's maiden name as middle name for DS. We're not Scottish and not following any sort of family tradition, but I was very close to my grandmother, and wanted to recognise that side of the family in DS's name.

I think Maggie Mercer Joy Surname sounds great and love that it connects your DD to both sides of her family.

gamescompendium · 30/06/2014 23:27

My brother has my Mum's maiden name as a middle name, my Mum has a family surname from her mother's side as a middle name. People have always played a bit with this tradition. We just used my Dad's first name (that he didn't use) as DS's middle name. Should maybe have thought about using my surname more than we did.

scottishmummy · 30/06/2014 23:20

Of course,it's a Scottish tradition anyhow
Congratulations on pg

Lucked · 30/06/2014 23:18

We have done this but only with my son, the name we have kind of works for a boy. Yes, yes to having friends with boys middle names because it is also a surname.

Now that it isn't as common I think people don't follow the rules so closely so use a family name they like, or one they want to honour rather than the mothers maiden by default.

So go for it, I think Mercer works very well for a girl.

YoHoHoandabottleofWine · 30/06/2014 23:04

I think it is great. You can mix and match tradition, so don't need to do it for any future child.

My DF was scottish so this was tradition in his family. I didn't though because my maiden name is my boss's first name and so it brings me out in a cold sweat (though I sort of wish I had done)

weatherall · 30/06/2014 22:40

We have this tradition.

It has made it very easy to trace my family history back several generations.

But don't just give the surname as mn. I think DCs should have a mn that can be used as an alternative to their first name if they do t like it.

ElizabethMedora · 30/06/2014 22:23

I have my dad's surname as a middle name - like
Elizabeth Mary Jones Medora. It's fine, never embarrassed or anything. Middle names are for you to do whatever you like! My DC have my name as a middle name too.

Original poster
StetsonsAreCool · 30/06/2014 22:20

Contributions. And patience through m y fat finger posting Blush Taking myself off to bed now.

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Original poster
StetsonsAreCool · 30/06/2014 22:19

Contriuti

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Original poster
StetsonsAreCool · 30/06/2014 22:19

And thank you everyone for your controbuti

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Original poster
StetsonsAreCool · 30/06/2014 22:18

Thanks biscuits. I like the flow of the name more than the tradition, so I'm glad we've got a name for the list. The half tradition is a nice extra, but I won't follow the tradition for the sake of it, to the detriment of the name.

Maggie Mercer Joy is officially On The List! Hurrah!

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Original poster
StetsonsAreCool · 30/06/2014 22:14

Fucksake!!

... Tradition seemed a good way to do that, rather than using her first name. It reflects his Scottish heritage and his mum in one swoop.

I'm not risking any more posts now! Bloody phone!

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Original poster
StetsonsAreCool · 30/06/2014 22:12

Bloody hell.

...his mum, and this traditi

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Original poster
StetsonsAreCool · 30/06/2014 22:12

My mums maiden name wouldn't work either unfortunately. But then, DH wants to recognise his m

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Biscuitsneeded · 30/06/2014 22:10

My DP and I are not married. We decided to give our children his surname partly because it sounds better with their names, partly because people can actually spell it and understand it, and partly so that in situations where I was not around to endorse him (eg at passport control) he wouldn't be given too much of a grilling about his relationship to the children. However, I felt pretty strongly that since I was the one giving birth my name should be in there somewhere. So my (admittedly unusual) surname is used as a middle name, and I am am very happy with that. I wouldn't expect my sons to carry the name forward another generation, unless they wanted to, but I like the fact that it's there. OP I think you should use names you like, and if they happen to be traditional in your DH's family, then great, but don't use them just because it's the tradition...

Original poster
StetsonsAreCool · 30/06/2014 22:10

We've already cursed DD with having to spell both first name and surname. Tbf, our surname is very rare (I'm now one of two people on the whole of FB with my name, and I was there first!) but we also chose a first name that can be spelled 3 or 4 ways. Whoops!

Straightforward first name is one of the rules this time :)

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RiverTam · 30/06/2014 22:05

my aunty did this with my cousins and my cousin (her daughter) did it for her DC.

so it's FirstName MiddleName MaternalGM'sMaidenName Surname (her husand's, in this case, as she kept her name or marriage).

Lesleythegiraffe · 30/06/2014 22:03

Oh no Deepblutr you're even worse off than me!!

I made sure my DCs had fairly normal first and middle names so they wouldn't have to suffer as I did.

As if my middle name wasn't bad enough, I had an unusual christian name which nobody could spell and was the only one in my large school with it - my parents have a lot to answer for!!

LRDtheFeministDragon · 30/06/2014 22:03

I think it's lovely.

FWIW, Scottish women's names have a really long tradition - Scottish women kept their names after marriage much longer than in other English-speaking countries. So I think in that sense, it'd be very fitting to keep 'half' the tradition - you could justify it by saying it is a tradition that must have its origins in Scottish women's naming through history.

But in any case, I'd certainly say go with it if you like it - it sounds pretty IMO, but that's just me. Joy was my nan's name.

Original poster
StetsonsAreCool · 30/06/2014 22:02

Hmm, yes, hadn't considered that she might marry a Mercer! Not that she would have to take a different surname mind.

I'm going to have a boy after all this aren't I? :)

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deepbluetr · 30/06/2014 21:59

Lesley " I hate this Scottish tradition.

I have my mother's maiden name, which is also a boy's christian name as my middle name and hate it.

It was so embarrassing as a child that I used to pretend it was something else.

Just because something is a tradition doesn't make it good or correct"

I hate it too. My middle name is a surname, I hated it as a child and used to pretend I didn't have a middle name- I still do!

Even worse than when I married my OH had the same surname as my middle name.

So I went from ( and these are not my real names -just an example)

Sarah Brown Adams
to
Sarah Brown Brown, or technically Sarah Brown Adams Brown.

Just too silly for words.

Original poster
StetsonsAreCool · 30/06/2014 21:58

This is the first name that feels like a contender, so I'm not going to strike it just yet!

I don't feel bad about butchering the tradition now. We can present it as a name that has some family meaning instead, if we really have to justify to other family members - like Songs says, it's only family that really care about the middle names anyway.

Will focus on first names for now. Inspiration anyone? :)

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Casmama · 30/06/2014 21:56

I think children are people in their own right and as such don't agree with naming them after other people- there are lots of nice names without resorting to crusty old surnames as middle names.

Having said that it's your baby and your choice but I wouldn't let the meaning or rules overshadow how nice the name sounds.