Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

If you decided on a name before dc were born when did you start using it?

38 replies

mrsnec · 23/06/2014 07:43

After a lot of hard work we found a name we both like. I feel set on it. Dh is still subject to change he thinks we might come up with something better and despite being very blunt and me having a meltdown we're still getting (un)helpful suggestions from his parents I'm worried they will influence him although he assures me they won't.

If I start referring to bump now as the chosen name will it help him get used to it?

Is it wrong for me to feel so strongly at this stage? (25 weeks)

I had a 4d scan at 22 weeks but I went with my mum. At the time dh said he was fine with it but now he wants another one at about 34 weeks and he says we'll decide once and for all then.

When did you decide and did you change your mind on something you thought you were set on and did scans have anything to do with it? He's so worried we're going to get it wrong.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
BeeBlanket · 23/06/2014 09:04

We had a girl's name lined up but not a boy's and as we never knew the sex before the birth, we didn't use it to the bump. I don't think I could have any, it just wouldn't feel right and yes I needed to see the baby and work out if it suited them.

Sorry about you losing your last baby, that must be hard.

I think it's OK to feel strongly but also remember naming is for both parents to decide on, so I'm a bit sympathetic to your DH for wanting to wait until he's sure. Reverse the roles and him having a meltdown and insisting on something would not go down well on here (though you can have a pardon for pg hormones!)

I can say this as we're online and you can't slap me :o but relax and chill out a bit. There is actually no rush with the name and as long as you ignore his parents and do what you both want, it will be OK. Just keep talking about it and don't worry. Also many people on here say don't reveal the name to everyone before the birth, as it leads to people copying you or giving you a hard time.

GoodtoBetter · 23/06/2014 08:51

We live abroad and wanted a name that worked in both languages, so choice was limited. For DS there was really only one name we agreed on, so it was decided that would be his name from when we knew the sex. Didn't tell anyone though or use it ourselves, would have felt weird doing that...don't know why really.
With DD there were two front runners and we leaned towards her actual name more towards the end but finally decided for sure once she was out. Didn't use it before she was born.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 23/06/2014 08:44

Pretty soon birth announcements will simply contain the words "she is here" and time of birth. Knowing sex, weight and now name before birth......

Original poster
mrsnec · 23/06/2014 08:41

Thanks everyone really interesting answers for me to think about.

We do have a shortlist of 3 first names and 2 middle names but it's just one particular combination I'm set on so we could default to the others when she's here.

If we hadn't found out the sex we wouldn't be having this problem. Dh wanted to know, I wasn't fussed but the sonographer told me straight away.

She's our first so no siblings but that makes sense Definate.

I hadn't thought about the tempting fate side of things. She's due a year to the day since I lost the last one so I'm very superstitious. People have already bought me loads of bits and I've not let any of it in the house!

OP posts:
PilauMice · 23/06/2014 08:40

I find the naming the baby before birth thing weird. We knew the sex of DS before he was born and we had a very short list of name with an obvious front runner but he still wasn't named until he was about 24 hrs old. We wanted to be sure.

DefiniteMaybe · 23/06/2014 08:06

We've had names picked for a while and once we know the sex next tuesday we'll start using the name.
It'll help the dc get used to the idea of their new sibling.

Original poster
mrsnec · 23/06/2014 07:57

Thanks X, I will have another word with dh then. The 4d one I got is her face mainly and its very detailed so I'm not sure what else we're going to get from another one so your answer is very useful I will explain that to him because I am thinking it's a waste of money but it might be he just wants the experience.

I have another scan at the general this week though and the images from them so far have been rubbish if I get a decent one from them maybe he won't want another 4d.

Maybe I will start using it anyway.

OP posts:
AntiDistinctlyMinty · 23/06/2014 07:56

With DS1 we didn't know the sex before hand, so had picked a name for either but couldn't use them. We had a nickname for the bump, which is still his nickname at 2.6.

We found out with DS2, but I was afraid to use the name we liked to refer to the bump; it felt like tempting fate or something. In the end we changed our mind on the name about three days before he was born! Of course, had we been using the other name all along we probably wouldn't have...

rocketjam · 23/06/2014 07:54

We had a list of top three names for a boy and a girl, and when DS was born we ended up naming him a name that was not even on a top ten list. He was a very quiet, gentle thing, so we chose a name to reflect that. DS2 we also had a list with a few name but because of the experience with our first one, we waited a few days to 'discover' his little personality and named him after 6 or 7 days.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 23/06/2014 07:53

We knew before having dd1 what a dd would be. Dd2 was more complicated but bump was bump both times til born. Didn't want opinions on names. Kept it secret. Allow family thought but I'd keep quiet on the real choices.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 23/06/2014 07:51

We have a name we want to use, but I just cant use it yet as he isnt here Grin

It feels odd saying He tbh as last time round we didnt know.

deepbluetr · 23/06/2014 07:49

It's not something I wanted to do. For us it was very important to meet our new baby to see if a name "suited" before making the decision.
One or two of the names we had liked before birth seemed very innapropriate one we met our baby.
With our daughter we ended up scoring all our names off the list and starting again once she arrived. We ended up calling her a name that we hadn't even thought of but seemed to fit her personality when we had her in our arms.

You may wish to choose before hand, but for us it comitted us too soon.

Xcountry · 23/06/2014 07:48

We decide on all our names pretty quick, always pick a boy and a girl name and then at 20 weeks find out the sex and start using it after then. A 4d scan at 34 weeks wont be as good as your last one, the baby is so big all you can usually see is a face.