Jayden

Right, I am almost certainly going to regret this but I couldn't just sit back and let this one go.

inferring that anyone who names their child Jayden is, ipso facto, going to require SS and a family law barrister.

That is certainly NOT what I said.

Nor is it what I implied, inferred or imputed.

I said, way, way back in the mists of time that the 'problem' with this name was that it was not perceived as middle class - and if op didn't care, go for it.

Cue outraged explosions about how I wanted everyone to be middle class. Rubbish. I explained it was a name with connotations. That it was associated - by some - with membership of a low socio-economic group.

That connotation was born out for me by my lived experience of 15 years of care proceedings - mainly spent trying as hard as I could to get fairness into proceedings heavily loaded against the poor and disabled - where certain names crop up with greater frequency than others.

this reflects the fact that care proceedings are 90% initiated against people from vulnerable and poverty stricken backgrounds. So sorry, but you are not going to get 100s of Cressidas and Harrys in care proceedings. If I am wrong, show me your statistics.

commenting on social inequality and - as I have done - wishing things were different, that life wasn't unfair is so far removed from what you accuse me of doing is really bizarre, baffling and bewildering.

But it is also making me angry now.

By all means, attack me for what I do or say that is worthy of attack. But to make up crap and use it as a stick with which to beat me is just pathetic.

Who has said that anyone who names their child Jayden is going to require SS? I've not seen anyone write that.

Jayden isn't a name I would choose - just don't like the sound or the fact that it won't travel well into other languages.

I think there is a leedle bit of a difference between saying "oooooh, Ryan, now that's a norty boy name if ever I heard one.....my timbers positively shiver every time I get one of those on my register!" and inferring that anyone who names their child Jayden is, ipso facto, going to require SS and a family law barrister.

Indeed Penguin, I suspect that I would like the name better if I lived in Surrey perhaps!

Jayden is awful!

Midlands accents are not kind to quite a lot of names are they Queen (I can say that, all my family on both sides are Brummie).

I will ignore the bun fight on the name and respond to the question. I am not keen on Jayden with Joseph, Joseph Jayden sounds better to me..maybe its the hard 'D'.

I do struggle with the name Jayden only because where I live, not far from a well known gold and black football team, the accent kind of spoils the name!! Also true of many 'Y' names. I am a proud midlander but facts is facts

In 2012 Jayden was the 37th most popular boys' name. Nearly 2000 babies in England and Wales were given this name. In one year. The previous year it was at number 32.

I think this indicates quite clearly that the MN baby name board is not representative of society's attitudes towards baby names and parents of Jaydens shouldn't fear for their children's futures.

FWIW the only baby Jayden I know goes to my DS's swimming class. His parents are a well educated, very nice couple.

(and they do)

Crikey, nevermind AIBU not being fight club, we need that warning in here.

To respond to the OP, Jayden isn't one of my favourite names, but it's fine. I don't like it with Joseph though, I don't think it flows. Joseph Jayden is a bit better. Or something to give the initials AJ, that's a cute nickname?

Well she sodding would do, wouldn't she? It's what she does for a living!

Teachers do exactly the same on here all the time. They get away with a light grumbling, Spero gets manhandled into a ducking stool.

Social workers, HCPs, Housing Officers, Police Officers, Criminal lawyers could all make similar types of points about what types of names crop up most most frequently in their line of work.

Said the pot to the kettle.

I haven't tried to order anyone off the thread Sangria

And I've been polite.

Well as a parent who thought I had chosen an unusual name, who has now seen that name crop up several times in the news in relation to children in tragic circumstances, it worries me that the name will be a burden to my child. If that means you all think I am exhibiting snobbery to my own child, you're all daft. Equally it annoys me that people get sniffy about my child's name so I share your (parents of jaydens) pain.

Quite honestly a thread on BABY NAMES on MUMSNET about JAYDEN with a request for HONEST OPINIONS PLEASE was never going to be a Women's Institute Tea Party was it? So why all the vitriol towards Spero for sharing her honestly observed experience?

"wind your neck in"

Said the pot to the kettle.

I am saddened on this thread by Spero's posts. I think it was either breathtakingly naïve at best, or stupid at worst, to infer that Jayden-esque names are more likely to end up in care proceedings. And you can dress it up all you like by saying that's not what you meant, but I don't think I believe it.

Never mind, scales have to fall from one's eyes at times I guess.

My dd is "never going to be a high court judge" either.

But only because she wants to be an author and a scientist.

Oh, and my naughtiest student is called Gerry.

HTH.

thelittleone OP SPECIFICALLY asked for 'Honest opinions please'.

Which she has been given. By various posters. The conversation has broadened out.

I know some of you have DC named Jayden/Jaiden/Kayden/Haydn/similar. I also have a Dc with a name that these days sometimes gets a sniffy response on this board. I don't know whether that is why you are bristling.

But Spero has said nothing out of line and it really isn't your job to play doorman. Wind your neck in.

Yes spero I think it is best that you leave before you spout any more junk and then try to unsuccessfully justify yourself. I have not contributed to this thread but I have been following and I am appalled at some of the attitudes of posters and i am seriously considering wether I should still continue to post on this site. It is these kind of people that need to change their attitudes not other people needing to change what they name their child ffs

Nobody has actually gone as far as trying to name asnybody else's children so there isn't really a major problem is there?

I think the disagreement here is a microcosm of the two approaches to a society full of hidden prejudice.

Personally I understand both stances.

Ok, probably best if I do leave the thread for good.

I am genuinely sorry if I have upset anyone; that was never my intention.

But I have read again what I said, and the criticisms levelled against it and I think those criticisms are unfair and unjustified and remain confident that I am neither a racist or a snob.

Recognising that something exists, is not the same as supporting it as a good thing, which I think has already been said over and over.

I don't accept it is meaningless.

My experience supports my view. I have never had care proceedings with regard to a 'John' - I would be very surprised in fact as this is the name of my father's generation, I have in fact never met a person under 40 called John. That does not mean such a person does not exist. Just that I have never met one. Thus my experience informs my view that 'john' is an unusual name for a child.

There are certain names which are over -represented in care proceedings. To say this does not mean that everyone with this name is destined to enter the care system. Of course it does not. No where have I or anyone else suggested that, but a number of people have parroted it as if it actually was a claim I or anyone else was making.

As ever, I don't think it helps any kind of constructive debate when posters are attacked for things they have never said, hinted or implied.

I can understand the emotion it generates - I am sure I would be very upset if came across a thread saying my daughter's name was stupid/pretentious/chavvy etc.

But I would probably chose not to read the thread, rather than put myself through that.

It was inappropriate Spero and irrelevant.

It is meaningless.

There are far more Johns in care than there are Jaydons.

I bought it into the thread to explain why the name had certain connotations to me. I don't see how that is disingenuous. It represents my experience over many years.

It is also interesting that even my detractors talk about the middle class 'snobs' reacting to certain names, which seems to prove my point that some names do have connotations.

And I go back to my original question - if we are not allowed to offer opinions about names, even when they are requested by the poster, what is the point of these threads? If it is so obvious that only 'Adolf' should ever be approached with caution, then what is the point of these threads?

The point must be that people are curious to know how others see their choice of names. And I think it is good they are so cautious. I do think names can be powerful.

I don't think I am a snob. I am certainly enjoying my daughter being at a school where the other parents don't try to borrow money off me to buy heroin. To share my experiences about this is not to try to play some Lady Bountiful type person but to show that I have actually had direct experience of how difficult some people's lives can be.

But of course, I don't have to live them, which makes me lucky and grateful. But a snob? Not so sure about that.