DH really wants to use his late mum's name...

Use it as a mn. Sorted.

I would be freaked out using Maisie as her everyday name - hearing it everyday would just make me think about mil too much and would feel like we had put expectations onto the child. It would also mean that she never had her own name -it would always be mil's name and so she'd end up being little Maisie or similar.

Having Maisie as a middle name to honour her gran is completely different though - it's a nice touchpoint that you think of occasionally rather than having something there and big upfront in your face all the time.

I swore I wouldn't used any family or friend's names when I was naming the dc. However we ended up with my late dad's name as a middle name for ds1 as it went really well with his first name. And dh was the first to suggest it, I had to be persuaded but love it now. I would have found it very difficult to have used the name as a first name though - complete non-starter.

My gran was bullied by her big sis into giving my dad her bil's name as a middle name as he'd passed away just before dad died. When my dad was in his late 50s and my gran in her 80s, once her big sis had died, she decided that she was going to change dad's name back to what she wanted it to be... . She didn't get that she had left it too late and dad didn't want to start changing his name! But it just shows how much importance she placed on it and how much it had rankled over the years. Her big did was an old fashioned school teacher with a look to kill and bullied everyone into falling into line with her wishes which is why nan had capitulated to her demands!

It's a lovely name.

Well you can weigh up him honouring his dead beloved mother or you having the fun of choosing a name. Which youve done twice before.
Tough one.

Maisie is so awful too. I could possibly be persuaded to choose something like Marianne in tribute but never, ever Maisie.

When I was expecting DD2, DH's sister passed away. MIL really wanted me to use her name but I didn't for several reasons.
One, it was too close to the death two, and SIL hated her name and would never have forgiven me for lumbering DD with it, but I could hardly tell MIL that. I used her middle name for DD's middle name instead. :)

Maisie is a lovely name though. You could use it for a middle name or have fun coming p with middle names instead. Maisie Rose?

It's a no-brainer for me too.

Unless I absolutely loved the name there's no way I'd agree to it.

Maisie or Mary are both lovely, if it's important to your DH I'd go with it.

DMIL died suddenly when I was expecting DD2. Her middle name is DMIL's first name and I would have liked it to have been her first, but DH actually choose something else.

His turn, DD1's name was chosen when
I was 15

Why is a middle name an afterthought? Not the case with our carefully thought out middle names for our DSes.

I just cant imagine using two non-family names for the first two daughters and then using a deceased relatives name in memory for the third daughter.

I really like Maisie. Not keen on Mary.

I would keep your options open if I were you. Either use it as a first name if you don't find anything you far rather prefer. If you and your DH can agree on a preferred first name, then maybe use either Mary or Maisie as a middle name?

Middle names aren't an afterthought, but using a name as a middle name is not te same as using it as a first name. Which did you dh mean - using it as an honour/remembrance so could be a middle name, or using it daily as a first name?

When I was pregnant with dd2 we asked a close family friend if she minded us using her (deceased) mum's name (friend's mum had been a very important figure in dh's life). She said no, as she would like to use it for her (potential) future dd. she was torn, though, as there was no guarantee she would even have a dd, and she definitely wated the name to 'live on'

So we didn't, and then she used it as a middle name - dh was very upset as in his view we could have used it ( would have used it as a first name). There is a lot of emotion around names, and so it is best to ascertain what it is your dh actually wants - only he can answer that, not us lot here.

My children have GPs name as middle names, as is traditional in our family.

They certainly weren't afterthought, I was certain about them before I even got pregnant.

When he says he really wants to use her name does that mean as first name or middle name? Altough to be honest most of my family and all the boys in DP's family use their middle names as their first name, so it doesn't particularly matter.
You can still have fun picking out 1 name for girls (whichever way it gets used) and as far as i can tell you can still have your fun on boys names as well, after all there is a fifty% chance that the argument maybe moot if it's a boy.

For me it's a no-brainer. If it meant a huge amount to my partner I would use it as my daughters name and pick the middle name myself.

Mary is lovely and very underused :) But maybe use as a middle name?

Middle names aren't after thoughts at all.
Ours were chosen carefully.

I know many Mumsnetters don't like double names, but traditionally Mary has been joined to other names: Mary Jane, Mary Ann, Mary Louise, Mary Clare, Mary Ellen etc etc etc. Would that give you a bit more creative freedom?

Having said that, Mary by itself is a very nice name: feminine, classic, timeless.

Middle names are not after thoughts. What a strange thing to say.

Because he wants it as a first name, not the after though that's a middle name.

Maisie is a great name anyway

I can't see how it's rude to use it as a middle name.