Surname dilemma

Just use your surname assuming you dh agrees.

My dd1s best mates parents are married. She and her bro have mums surname and mum has retained hers. It's a rare name and would have died out otherwise ( and dad's surname is very common).

Something like McTavish Taylor? Sounds great!

OP I am in the same dilemma as marrying this year and don't want to lose my unusual, 2 syllable name however have been thinking about what this means for future children.

My surname is Scottish therefore people mispronounce or mis-spell it regularly and ever since I was a child I knew you had to spell it out when telling anyone!

H2B is a very middle of the road name, 2 syllables, no way you could mis-spell or mis-pronounce and everyone's familiar with it.

However when I put them together I worry we sound like a solicitor's firm!

We had exactly this issue with my dcs. The added complexity being that as dh is adopted, there is no "heritage" being passed to the dcs with his name whereas everyone in the world with my name is related to me.

In the end, we gave the dcs dh's name. To be honest it sounds nicer than mine and I did have some teasing at school. In addition, I was fairly certain that no one would ever assume that the kids were not mine if we had a different last name but they would assume that ds was not their father and I didn't want that.

Just double barrel. Our names will give a four syllable combination. I don't see it as a particular problem. There are far worse names out there!

The hospital will give your DS your surname on hospital records etc., though, and he'll get referred on to health visitors etc. using that name.

Double barrel. Four syllables isn't too long and your DS can always choose to drop one half later on if he wants.

I'm one of those "decided husband's name was better on aesthetic grounds" people (but really: we couldn't have used DD1's name or DD2's name with my surname. And I leveraged not giving DCs my surname, which I wasn't bothered about, to give me free reign on choosing middle names, which I was more interested in, so I saw it as a win for me) but I think double barrelling is the way to go unless the names really really don't work together (and I don't think length rules that out: I know a couple of families where the children have six-syllable double-barrelled names and they work just fine).

Our DS has a 2-syllable first name then 2+3 syllable double-barrelled surname, no hyphen.

We are abroad. DS's first name is international (for this reason!), DH's surname German, mine's Irish. We're in neither of those countries. Poor wee bugger will be spelling them all his life, at least his firstname is easy!

Just double barrell it, there are a lot around, no one will bat an eyelash.

My friends who are getting married soon found every where presumed baby would have mothers surname and had to fight to make it husbands...perhaps you won't have an issue?

"I've thought a lot about this and the surname that should be chosen is the nicest one. It's the only thing that makes sense"

Trust me- that will always be the men's name.............

Onestly it's a pita. And as the mother, if you don't work full time, you are the one who had to repeat it constantly at the Dr, school, clubs, to new little friends' parents etc etc.

I don't think I've ever heard DH on the phone struggling to spell the bloody thing out. He volunteered to change his too but obviously that hasn't materialised now he's got what he wanted.

I've thought a lot about this and the surname that should be chosen is the nicest one. It's the only thing that makes sense. It would dilute the amounts of boring Smiths and Patels and rid the world of Cocks and a few other corkers.

We the multi syllable hyphen option. H

How about the Spanish way? First name, Father's surname, Mother's surname. My half-Spanish grandchildren have this, but only one first name (son and DiL thought that was enough to cope with). The theory is the mother's name gets dropped by the next generation, but that would be a long way away.

I kept my name when I married, and get quite wound up about it when questioned ("but you won't have the same last name as your kids and they won't know who you are" if they're that thick I think we'll have other issues to worry about) or when I get correspondence to "Mrs [DH initial] [DH surname] (wtf!) but am oddly quite relaxed about DC having DH's surname.

DC will have my surname as a middle name but mainly for legal reasons - e.g. if I was travelling with them but not with DH I want my name on their passports too. I guess the way I justify it is that I'm carrying the child so I already know it's connected to me, but DC having DH's name is a way of him connecting. (Bit weak really).

I do get annoyed with things being done "just because it's tradition" and if I felt more strongly about it my preference would be girls having mother's name boys having father's name might be a good system. Bit unfair if you only have one, or just one gender.

Could you blend the names to make 1 new one?

So Robson + gibbs = gibson type thing?

Double barrel but without a hyphen, to give your child te option of using one name as a middle name later if he wishes - it's what we have done. Then you only need to worry about the order of the names. Ours is alphabetical but you also need to consider how the names scan, as some form really pleasing metric feet and others sound awful.

Ds's schoolfriend has a 6 syllable double barrelled name. It's a mix of English and Spanish so not two names you expect to go together. He gets his full name a lot as there is another child in the class with the same first name. It works fine. I think you should try saying the double barrelled name a lot and see if you can get it to grow on you because if you both want him to have your name then there isn't any other way of doing it.

Draw the name out of a hat. Best of 3.

I'm a three syllable first name and a five d-b surname.

it's fine now there are no cheques to write in supermarket queues.

I didn't mean to be rude to anyone in particular. But yes, I can't see any reason for the middle name thing to be suggested except as a "compromise" which effectively gives the child the men's name by default.

And yes, I agree that it's nice if names sound good- but I have never, ever, heard of a man's name not being used because it is unattractive in sound, spelling or meaning. Instead you get women coming on here asking for suggestions for "nice names to go with DP's unfortunate last name-it's so hard to find something that sounds good with Arsebiscuit......."

What Martorana said.

DS has a 5 syllable hyphenated name , it's fine.

Have you spoken to your DH about it? Tbh you can give your son whatever surname you both agree on, doesnt even have to be connected.

But he is the one to ask

I have sympathy with the point, its the delivery of it that I find objectionable!

So I'm suggesting the middle name option because I'm suggesting the OP shut up, I've either been told to shut up, or have fallen into a patriachal trap?!

This is my first ever use of this, but did you mean to be so rude?