Oh pants

Could you use the spelling Freddy instead?

This happened the other way for me, my friend had a baby after us and said they wanted my dd's name but decided that it wasn't a good idea. I said don't be silly, use it (top 20 name) but they didn't.
Just as an aside, we have 4 Freddie's in reception- sounds like you might come across quite a few......

Hate to be cynical, but your son will have that name for the rest of his life and you might lose touch with this friend next week and not even remember her name in 10 years.

Go for it.

Ok I say lots but I suppose there aren't really lots.

Frederick, Wilfred, Manfred........I'm stumped after that.

Yes, to Wilfrid nn 'Freddie'.

Is it Freddie for a nickname that you are after? I would go for Wilfred, I bloody love that name. In fact I half wish we'd used it for DS3.

Freddie can be short for lots of names so if she goes with Alfie that gives you lots of options to still get the name you want.

Call your ds Frederick nn Freddie? Then you still get your name x

Our dd has the same name as my fathers ex. My ex step mum! The woman he left my own mum for. Imagine how many noses would've been put out of joint if I had that sort of family ?!

It's a beautiful name, so we chose it.

Imo the main purpose of a name is to identify a person. I would therefore give your child his/her own name - will make life much easier.

There are thousands of lovely classic names to choose from - have a look at the list of ALL names given last year on the ONS website. There must be another name you love that is more likely to identify your child (than the same name as your close friend's child).

Yes, if the name is Jack or Olivia you're fine. If the name is Lars or Persephone it might be a bit weird.

...incidentally, the fact that she's used it may mean that the name is more popular than you think - maybe on the way up. So this could be a bit of a blessing in disguise depending on how you feel about that!

...a friend had a similar situation about six years ago. She was gutted as she couldn't believe that her friend had happened upon the lovely, unusual yet classic name she'd chosen. The name was Ruby. Now she's so relieved that she was forced to go with something else, as she particularly didn't want a too popular name.

Tell us the name - we could a. assess popularity and b. come up with some alternatives for you!

I can see both arguments, and I think that it depends just how popular or well-known the name is.

If it's madly rare and the fact that she's used it is the weirdest thing ever then yes I'd let it go as it would look as if you'd copied.

If however it's Amelia, Isabella, Ava, Ellie etc.... I would go for it.

Oh dear what a shame it must be infuriating.

Did the two of you discuss names or were you keeping it under wraps? If you love it use it. Anyone ever comments you just say you've planned on using it since forever.

I really feel for you - this has happened to me twice - where friends have used names that we have mentioned we liked :-( it's awful, and I did feel silly that I felt I had some "ownership" of the names (which of course I don't). So.... using the same logic, your friend doesn't have ownership of the name either so if you feel really strongly about it, just use it! Good luck

My mum and her best friend both had little girls and both chose the same name. They both loved it so why not?
I really don't get the issue myself.
Just use it if you love it.
I think it's quite a nice bond to be honest.

My parents did this - I was born shortly after their friends dc. We loved having the same name growing up :)

My cousin and I both have sons with the same name... I spoken to them, kind of telling them that I 'was' choosing that name and hope they didn't mind. Chose the name want its for life :) x

I probably wouldn't use it now myself.

I am 38 weeks and have a friend who is about 40 weeks (also with a girl). I am now quite paranoid that she is going to use one of the two names we have picked (no especial reason why she would).

I sort of agree that you shouldn't feel as though you can't use the name...but in the same position I wouldn't (particularly if you see them a lot).

Use it. She might move to Australia next year never to be seen again and you'd be gutted. Unless of course you're already in Australia... :)

Just say "wow, you have excellent taste! This one is going to be a George too" (nb I just picked George at random)

My BIL did this (and knew he had), I was so upset and cried. We chose another name and it took me a while to grow to love it, but now I much prefer it to our original choice. DN's name has surged in popularity to ubiquitous and I'm so glad we didn't end up using it.

You'll find another name to love.