Do you know anyone who has changed their baby's name and how did people react?

I don't think "your baby your choice" is very good advice here. The child has another parent to consider, who from the sounds of it doesn't want to change the name as well as siblings, other family members, paperwork etc etc. It's not just her choice.
Isn't getting some help with the depression maybe a better idea here? Hope you feel better soon OP.

I have no experience of this, but if it helps I think you should go with your gut instinct. Even now, I sometimes wonder about whether I chose the right names for my two - like you I prefer gender neutral / more masculine names - but I am generally happy with the name I gave. However, if this is bothering you this much now, it will only get worse.

Seize the day - change the name.

I have an aquaintance who changed her daughter's name at 4mo. We all briefly raised an internal eyebrow but nobody actually said anything and tbh, it wasn't an untypical thing for her to have done - she was very 'alternative' in the first place, so nobody was exactly shocked by it.

I think once you've told people it'll be 'yesterday's news' after a couple of weeks - other people are rarely as bothered about things as we are ourselves.

I have two friends who have changes their babies' names, one after couple of months, one after nearly a year. Neither were certain about the name in the first place and dithered for ages. Noone was really bothered when they did change the name, we just started using the new name.

How are things OP? Hope you're ok - been thinking of you loads today.

Hi, just to say I signed in specially to say we changed our DS's name - it did take a lot of courage to do it, but he is 18 now and I'm so glad we did! You can change the birth cert for up to a year I think... Why don't you have a naming day with a few friends.... The thing to remember is that other people will only want the best for you... everyone else has got all their own stuff to think about so it won't be a big deal to them. I think you will be pleased at how supportive people are. Just be honest and say you got a bit muddle-headed/ it doesn't suit her. I Promise one day you will look back and laugh about this, although I know you can't believe that now. All best wishes

bugabooed
Yes, that is exactly how I felt too. I would be at the park with my two and I would literally want to rip my head off just to stop thinking 'why didn't I call her xxxx' over and over and over and over again.

For me it was definitely PND/anxiety related OCD. I really felt like I was losing it!!! DH did not get it either.

mrsibley of course you can. X

I too had been surprised by the baby's gender. My husband initially dismissed my concerns about the name when I first mentioned it, but then after a while realised just how much it was eating me up. I don't think he really understood my issues with the name, but said that if I came up with some alternatives, he would consider them. I went around in circles with the other names that we'd had on our shortlist, but none seemed quite right either. I became obsessed with baby names and trawled many naming websites. In the end, I went back to the drawing board completely and suggested a name which we hadn't considered previously. This was the one we chose.

It was a very stressful time for me, and I felt so sad about the whole thing. However, once we made the decision to change it, I felt a weight had been lifted.

On a positive note, and as I said in one of my previous posts, I was very pleasantly surprised by everyone's supportive response to the name change, it just wasn't the big deal to others that I thought it would be.

Mrsibly, I've been through this too and most of my anxiety over the name was caused by pnd. Three years on and I'm feeling much better about the name. I don't have time this afternoon but I will pm you later with my story which i hope will help you.

I would do it ASAP I think.

I changed DD's name at about 4 months too. It was awful, I was totally obsessed with names too, felt mortified any time anyone asked me her name etc.

Can you try out the name your prefer on strangers ie if you're waiting in a queue and someone asks you her name, say the one you like and see how it makes you feel.

Nobody made a fuss about the change except for my MIL, but she's a fusser in general. I felt INSTANTLY better about it, and haven't looked back. Yes, I'm embarrassed it happened, but I had PND and I blame that!

I was lucky in that my DP just wanted whatever would make me happy, he liked both names equally. However, even with that, I dreaded talking to him about it.

I'd say if you can't let go of THE name after all this time then you've picked the wrong one, and you need to just go for it and change it.

Oh goodness. I could have wrote this myself. My DS is 3 months and I'm still not sure about his name. He was called his middle name for 3 weeks until we switched it around (before we registered him), and I'm too frightened to change it again. DH loves his name and won't really discuss it.

The whole thing just eats me up, I'm even having dreams about alternative names but really don't know what I would change it to, I fel like I just don't know what I like. I'm just trying my best to get used to it.

Big hugs.

Sorry, cross posted with your last message as got v distracted by my DC while I was composing it. Feel free to pm me too if you want to.

It is not stupid at all. I turned myself inside out before I made the decision, it completely dominated my every single waking hour, I could think of nothing else. I read every single name website I could find and became completely obsessed with names in general. I really can completely empathise with your feelings - I felt dreadful and very alone.

How does your husband feel about it all? Have you discussed it with anyone in real life?

Not stupid at all. I do know just how you feel.

Personally I did not do it, mainly as DH was so against doing so, but if I had it would have been seven years ago now and just an anecdote - no big deal. Another silly reason I did not change it was that all her cards said her name. I felt therefore that if I changed it then all the happy wishes for the future would be for another baby and not her. Irrational I know, but I was exhausted and not in a good place.

PM me the names if you like. I am sure they are both beautiful.

If you want to then do it. No one else's business. You can't not do things because of other people, I bet you that you wouldn't be given the same thought if it was them.

What's the worse that can happen? Really?

So a few people might be a bit confused. Preferable to having your sons whole life with a name u done like surely ?

Do it :) stuff them :)

You should call your baby whatever you want - you have a year to change it. People won't care - she is not their baby.

I felt the same about dd2's name - DH chose it and I was never certain. I thought about it constantly and obsessed over changing her name, felt jealous when I met a baby with the name she should have had!! So I can really relate. I kept the name in the end and it is very much her...I still love her 'should have had' name though...

BUT....I was also a little depressed and the intrusive name related thoughts were part of this.....Are you feeling ok OP? Sometimes fixating on something can be a sign you are not too well.

People will get over it, just do it. But do be confident in new choice, no changing minds again.

Tell you something... I called DD something bog standard like Sarah. From 6m-4yo I was convinced I should have called her Faith instead (but I didn't change her name). I got used to Sarah. In y4 she shared a class with a girl called Faith who she came to loathe! DD thinks I was bonkers to ever want to call her Faith.

We changed the name of one our our DC at 4 months. I too was really worried about how people would react, but in reality it was much less stressful than I anticipated - everyone was really supportive of our decision and very quickly got used to the change!

My brother started To be known by his middle name when he was about 6 weeks old. I was his 8 year old big sister and kept calling him by his original first name for a bit longer but his 'new' name stuck very easily.