how do you choose a name?

I hated having to compromise with DH! Everything I suggested he poo pooed, and everything he suggested was horrible . We chose family names for middle names and our second one was named after a trip to the cemetry for inspiration

if i was ever to have children it would be

girls
tamar rose
jesica may
issoble
tara
mia
aimmie

boys liked

reece
jack
jamie
kyle

We printed off lists of the top 500 girls' and boys' names from our respective countries and went through them individually, then chose from the resulting lists we had of names we both liked.

I wanted something Welsh, but usable and easy to spell/pronounce, because both of us have Welsh family, plus we both have hard to pronounce names and know how hard it can be to live with a difficult name!

We had a boy's name picked out very early on (Dylan - which was handy because we both love Bob Dylan and Dylan Thomas too!). It also means 'son of the sea/waves', which I really love as I'm from the coast.

Girls names - we never decided on one. I drew up a list, OH didn't like any of them. To be honest, I knew we were having a boy from the word go, so I didn't see the point of picking a girl's name!!

We looked through the Bible, argued, changed the subject, reassessed, argued, shouted, cried well, I did, asked for opinions on MN, decided against all the names, checked the Bible again, (repeat x100)... Demanded MN choose a name for us, couldn't reach a consensus so I refused to get out of the bath until DH came up with a solution! He decided we'd try out a few names for a couple of days each. DH v quickly got used to calling him Asher. I had my first worry-free night for weeks!

I gave DH the top 100 boys names list for 2011 and told him to write down anything he liked or anything else that came to mind. I knew he couldn't cope with more than that and I had already done the same, and my favourites were all in the top 100. He came back with 3. 2 of them were out due to sounding silly with surname and an awkward family association on my side. Luckily #3 was on both our lists, so that was that. Middle names are from family, one each side. Although actually our boy middle names can be found on both sides, nice and easy! For DD he came out with a name after the 20 week scan and we both loved it. I wasn't worried about popularity, just needed to love the name. The right name just seems right!

Both times the process went like this:

I suggested loads of names
DH vetoed
DH suggested one name
I vetoed
Frustration
I made more lists of names
DH suggested a name I had previously offered
We both liked it
DH convinced forevermore it was his idea

We really struggled to find a lot of names that we agreed on, that worked with my surname/our accent etc. With DS we had a shortlist of about 8, but realistically only ever one contender (which he is now called). Middle name is after my brother who died a few years ago. With DD, we literally had one first name and one middle name and that was it. Lucky they both suited her!

My top tip: when opening negotiations, don't lead off with your absolute favourite. It will get shot down in flames instantly and never make it back into contention.

Like resipca we picked out a name for DC#1 which was the most popular in her year - I have yet to know of another child her age or younger with it! And she goes to a nursery of 130+ children so its not as if we don't hear loads of names.

We picked the name for DC#1 as it was a character from a book which ultimately led me down the career path I follow today - DC#2 is due in 8/9 weeks time and although we have an idea for a boys name (family names combined, first name from my side, middle name from DH's family) we are having real problems deciding on a girls name.

So we've decided we will wait until we meet s/he and decide then, I've some ideas (mostly from books) but I think I need to meet baby before I saddle them with a name for life. DC#1's name is perfect (for her) and suits her 100%.

For DC1, there was a tv character from my childhood whose name I loved. It is generally assumed to be an abbreviation, but is a name in its own right and has strong links with our family heritage. For DC2, another name I had seen many years ago, when a very well known ( at the time) 'celebrity' used it for his son. It also has strong connections to our family heritage. DH loved both names. For middle names, DC1 has a family name from DG side, DC2 has my family name.

For girls, we deliberately set out to find names we liked that were associated with family heritage, though choice of middle name was another film/book character's name that we both loved. Never needed the girl's name.

I first saw DS's name on mumsnet, and it remained high on the potential list (it has a similar "feel" to a more common and potentially faddy name that I loved but was worried about it quickly being very dated).

Don't worry; it'll come to you. And don't pay too much heed to the stats. According to them, we saddled DD with the most popular girl's name of 2011 (she was born in January so we had no way of predicting). I have yet to meet another girl locally with the same name who'll be in her school year. Good luck!

When we found out we were having a boy we went at 1st with Harvey due to his last name Khetani but we changed our mind and my sister in fact came up with his name my partner said no then but when he went on a baby name search on google came up with his name Kai Nayan Khetani (the same name my sister had said) the middle name is because it is my partners 1st name and his deceased dads too his family actually wanted us to have kumar as all the boys had that as a middle name but imagine having a quarter Indian child with the initials K.K.K not exactly appropriate is it? Hahaha

We thought of a few we liked then looked up their meanings. The meanings really helped us to make our final choices.

People seem very organized about names!making lists and ticking boxes,i just chose mine cus i liked them,didnt matter whether they were popular or not,dh didt get much of a say,wouldnt of chosen one he hated but he wasnt massively keen o any of them but loves them now.

We decided to reflect my ancestory in the DCs names.

On a more general theme I didn't want names people would shorten, and we also googled potential first name last names to check there was no dodgy history and also made sure the initials didn't have any bad meanings. We also rejected names that were currently very popular and that couldn't be said in an English accent (we're Scottish living in England).

As far as middle names go all the DC have two middle names, one from my family and one from DH's.

My DH and I can't even agree how we came up with DS1's name! He says it was his idea but I think my colleague suggested it originally.

But basically we found out the sex, which cut down the arguments a lot! Then we both separately thought about names (looked on threads, name books, Office for National Statistics spreadsheets etc) and threw them at each other until one stuck.

We changed our minds about our original choice at about 6 months, when I found i kept meeting people who'd just called their DS that name, and thought it was becoming too popular for us to use.

We really only had one name (plus one back-up) we could agree on, so that was that. DS2 on his way and so far we're planning on using the "back-up" name we had for DS1 as we've not found any other names we can agree on. No middle names, thankfully, or we'd be spending the entire pregnancy arguing about names!

Both agree it has to be a name that works for an adult man as well as a child, unusual but not too weird, and able to be shouted across a playground without embarrassment.

Good luck

As someone who was given an Irish name that no one outside of Ireland can pronounce (I get very tired of correcting people, spelling it -which doesn't help as its Gaelic and now I stick to Mrs Surname for ease!!) We went with a classic boys name for our ds. We did find it really hard to agree on more than one boys name but had a few girls names. We loved old names like Thea and Cassie or Anna for a girl. One of my friends sat with her husband and each of them wrote down their top 5 names any that made both lists went on a final short list. It is hard though good luck!! ;-)

Bugger outside the top 20, I went looking for names outside the top 1500

I wanted uncommon but not unusual, so I went through the Office of National Statistics lists and only looked at names outside of the top 1,500 that I had already heard of. You'd be surprised what names are outside the top 1000.

Got a list of 5 that I liked and ran them by DH in all combinations till we settled on it.

I wanted a nature name. DH wanted a name he and his family could pronounce (they're German). Which overruled my other wish of wanting a Welsh name!

We then thought a bird would be nice, as it would commemorate the place where we were married and her first home. Wren threw up pronunciation issues so we had Robin and Raven. We picked Robin.

Auf - no joy as yet :(

Good luck with the birth, let us know how it goes.

there's lots of samuels in my family so if I'd had a boy, I'd be expected to call it Samuel.

There are lots of James and Margarets in my family tree as well.

I quite like 'Fergus' which was my gran-in-law's maiden name apparently, but DH and MIL hate it. Not having another kid anyway, so it doesn't matter

hiya twinklestar :)

You've got a good memory! And yes it's gone amazingly quickly. How's things?

You need a name which goes well with your surname, so have a look at name lists and say them out loud, have a couple to go for and then wait until you see your baby - a name with suit them once you see them! Good luck!

aufaniae - i cant believe your daughter is due in 3 days. I remember you getting your BFP. (I was winkle2 on the conception boards).

With dd1 it was easy. OH had a girls name he had always liked and I had a boys name I had always liked. We both liked each others choices and when dd1 was born luckily she suited her name.

With dd2 it was so hard. The only name we kind of liked didn't suit her, so she was nameless for 2 days. Then I found a name in a book, said it and it really suited her. Phew!! I like the classic names, nothing too .

The only advice I can give is don't panic if the baby arrives and doesn't have a name. Just keep reading name books and there will be one which is just right.