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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Made a mistake - what would you do? Time running out...

35 replies

Haarlemmer · 18/09/2012 11:16

I've always felt I've/we've made a mistake in naming our DS. I posted about this when he was quite tiny but for various reasons, have done nothing about it, other than find myself regularly in tears to my husband, telling him I just don't feel that DS feels/looks like his name.

So we're coming up to the one year crunch point (and his christening this weekend), and I'd like your advice.

DH happy to add a name but doesn't want to change DS' first name. I feel I must respect that. So what order?

Current name is Dominic Robert V...
I've always wanted to call him Alexander
Which order do the initials look better and what flows better? Is it too much of a mouth full?

People who have added/changed names: did it help?

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Original poster
Haarlemmer · 18/09/2012 13:24

Thanks for all your other messages.

Nick/Nicho isn't really an option as that is BIL's name.

I still feel adding a name isn't like removing/completely changing a name. My daughter answers to quite a few different names, and my poor son probably thinks he's called 'young man' or 'little one'.

Moving countries and building a new home does make you quite introspective - but I've done quite a bit of soul searching about this very issue and can't come up with anything else. I delayed changing names despite my gut feelings right at the beginning because I thought I could live through it. But nearly a year on - I really can say that DS is and will remain Dominic but I know that I've given him another name that he could use later should he so wish.

OP posts:
Original poster
Haarlemmer · 18/09/2012 12:57

Link to the old thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/baby_names/a1354234-Dominic-reassurance-please

OP posts:
ATailOfTwoKitties · 18/09/2012 12:57

(Or Nix, for cool teenagedom)

ATailOfTwoKitties · 18/09/2012 12:56

Could you live with Nick instead of Dom as a nickname?

newby2 · 18/09/2012 12:56

Sorry but I'm going to be frank here. Absolutely NOT! You can't change such an important thing as a name, adding in a name is not going to change his christian name. Dominic will know his name now and so will every-one else. If you'd have changed it immediately then fair enough.

You need to look at ways that you may want to change your baby (hard I know) or something about your-self and the name is masking your issue.

Original poster
Haarlemmer · 18/09/2012 12:55

Thanks for your comments.

Leftwing and Mayanna - my DH would actually agree with you! He's worried that there will still be something troubling me. Our problem was that we never came up with names that either liked and before DS was born, we moved jobs, house and country so having the time to discuss names always felt like a bit of a luxury. If DD had been a boy, she would have been called Felix which we both loved but a very good friend who was due exactly the same time as us had a still born at 21 weeks whom she called Felix. We felt it was totally inappropriate to even consider that for our child.

Dominic was a very last minute suggestion from me (yes I know - but I don't think I ever thought DH would like it) and well it's all a bit of a haze after the birth in terms of the decision making process.

My problem with Dominic is that I don't like the nickname Dom - and because we never really discussed names enough - I don't think we thought through the consequences. We used to live in Holland - where one day we might return - and Dom means stupid/thick etc. By giving him an extra middle name - he then has the choice, if he wants it.

JammySplodger - glad you agree about suiting the name. My little boy is a bit of red head ('strawberry blond'!) and somehow to me Dominic suits boys with dark hair (which he was born with).

OP posts:
mayanna123 · 18/09/2012 12:33

If his first name is Dominic and your dh doesn't want to change that, then I agree that adding additional middle names is not going to change his name.

Middle names are rarely used, most people don't even know the middle names of their friends, so I agree that adding Alexander or another name does not address the issue of you not being happy with his name, I'm afraid.

Leftwingharpie · 18/09/2012 12:31

My hunch is that there is some unresolved issue between you and your partner about how the name of your son was decided upon. Is adding a name really going to resolve the problem? Middle names are pretty inconsequential - and might you want the name for another child? Sorry if I'm way off the mark but I think we need to understand the background. Perhaps you could link to your old thread?

JammySplodger · 18/09/2012 11:56

Alexander's a lovely name by the way. And I know what you mean about them 'suiting' their name.

JammySplodger · 18/09/2012 11:55

Would your DH be happy about calling him Alexander?

DARV / DRAV, nothing jumps out at me in a 'he'll get bullied for that at school' kind of way.