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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Have you/would you change your own first name?

60 replies

MadBusLady · 16/08/2012 08:34

WWYD? I hate my first name. I've always hated it. It sounds ugly to me, it has an atypical spelling which means I'm constantly correcting people, and I was teased about it at primary school which I remember vividly for some reason. I actually sound apologetic when I introduce myself, which probably sets the tone for many interactions Grin I happen to have a totally kick-ass surname, and seriously I prefer it when people call me that!

Every few years I get worked up about it and wonder if I should change it, but maybe it is too late now (I am early 30s)? Has anyone ever done this or wanted to? Is it just a totally pretentious and weird thing to do? Have you ever known a case of a namechange leading to everlasting happiness, confidence, weight loss, world domination etc?

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MadBusLady · 16/08/2012 09:35

Reddaisy, longer version not an option sadly, in fact it's part of the problem! I'm an Alix. Not an Alexandra, or even a more commonly spelt Alex. An Alix. Thanks, parents Angry. There's no name I really, really love, though I do feel a bit cheated out of Gabrielle!

I don't like Alexandra, and everyone would shorten it anyway which would defeat the object. So what I'm vaguely wondering is whether Alice would be possible. That's not so different (but the sound and spelling makes a world of difference to me), and my parents call me Ali anyway for some reason (nobody else does). I wouldn't even have to change my email address, which only has my initials.

And re: workplaces, new jobs etc, part of the reason I'm wondering this now is that I'm slightly in a transition phase of life. I'm freelance at the moment so I can announce I wish to be known as Hephzibah-Jane Crumpetslinger if I want and the people I met next month would never know any different.

That leaves close mates, DP and DP's family. And my brother who got given a perfectly nice, normal name, the lucky sod . It would be weird at first (for me too). Not sure. I'm encouraged to hear some people have managed it.

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Coprolite · 16/08/2012 09:17

I think that maybe introducing a new name within the workplace would be harder than with family and friends.

mrsnec · 16/08/2012 09:17

I don't think it's ever too late. I know a Kathleen who's now a Casey. I've only ever known the latter but think that was a change for the best.

reddaisy · 16/08/2012 09:09

By the way I have moved house recently and started introducing myself with my full name eg Isabella instead of everyone just calling me Belle as I prefer the full version and DP is also trying to call me by my proper name which I prefer. Is this an option for you?

Sabriel · 16/08/2012 09:07

My SIL uses a name that's not her real name. English isn't her first language and she doesn't like the way English speakers pronounce her proper name, so she picked something else (she was in her 30s at the time).

Luckily for her everyone has only known her in her adopted name, so that is 'her' IYSWIM. It's not so easy with people who've always known you as the other name.

She didn't do it officially, so when they got married it was in her 'real' name. I assume her passports etc is also in her real name.

I wish I could do it, and there have been several opportunities in life when starting a new job etc that I could have done, but I can't think of an alternative. Like you I hate my name, and everybody spells it wrong, and/or lengthens it :(

reddaisy · 16/08/2012 09:06

I want to do it but I daren't! And we named DD the name I would have wanted to change mine to! I know two people who have done it. One made up a name which rhymes with her original name Hmm and everyone calls her by her new name. But I didnt know her by her original name so I dont know how the transition went. And a friend of mine changed his too but is still known by the shortened version of his old one. Eg he is called Joe but changed it from Joseph to Johanne. What would you like to be called?

FunnyBird · 16/08/2012 09:06

We were just bewildered that her new friends knew her by a different name. She didn't tell us that she wanted the change. I don't know why it slipped back, we didn't keep much in contact while she was away and have since reconnected. It would definitely be quite an effort to get all your existing friends, family and colleagues etc to cooperate, but I think it might be worth it to get a name you feel comfortable with.

SkinnyVanillaLatte · 16/08/2012 08:59

I would like to. Have at times thought about it.

But I don't know how you would convince people who have known you for years/family to adopt the new name.

I was under the impression that you can just tell people you know want to be known as 'so-and-so' and just use your real name officially. I don't know if you can change a first name by deed poll like a surname - maybe that'd make it more persuasive for people you know to use the new name.

I think there would be a mix of opinions over what people think at you doing it,so I reckon you would need to be prepared that some may be less than nice (but maybe I'm just paranoid).I think a hard hat and thick skin for a bit of (hopefully) temporary ribbing may be needed,but who knows????

Do whatever makes you happy,for you.

MadBusLady · 16/08/2012 08:55

Thanks Funnybird. Yes, it's the reversion that would worry me. Maybe I am doomed Sad. Did she decide as a positive choice that she preferred her original name, or did it just kind of slip back?

My dad wanted to call me Gabrielle or Fabienne but was outvoted. How cool would that have been??

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FunnyBird · 16/08/2012 08:48

I have an unusual spelling for my first name, but I love it and have learned to relax over the inevitable misspellings.

I do know someone who chose to be known by her middle name when she went to university. It was odd for a time, and now she's reverted to the name we knew her by. Perhaps you could try out a new name for a while.

Sorry, not much help, but didn't want to leave you unanswered.

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