MIL and name

If you used your mothers name as a middle name it is only fair you use your husbands mothers too, after all she is his mother and this child IS as much his as yours

Why don't you just give her 2 middle names? You could use some major reverse psychology and say that your first daughter absolutely loved the other name but you didn't want to upset your mil and so decided to use both.

Isabel xxx Lynn would maybe feel like a compromise that you are happier with but not make a massive massive statement against her.

I know how sick it can make you feel when you feel held hostage over names. We never said we would use a family name but the grief we have had with every single pregnancy just because we haven't named our children after our fil is just horrible. If he had been happy with a middle name tribute then I would have done it without any problem at all but only a first name copy was acceptable

Oh, you could also fiddle it so the 2 names sound like a different one when said quickly together iykwim... something like Isabel Maddy Lynn or Isabel Caro Lynn??!

I've always liked Linnea (pronounced LI-nay-uh here in the States), if that helps.

oh it's a middle name? that's fine for a middle name imo It's pretty and simple. It would balance out a fancier first name.

What Lyndsay or Evelyn?

Forgot to add, imagine if you have a baby boy, you could be the MIL one day and have a daughter in law who does the same to you, how would it make you feel?

My ex's mother was a vile woman, I really couldn't bear her so I understand completely what it's like to have a mil from hell however she was still his Mom and he loved her.

If I were you I'd use the name for your husbands sake, he loves his Mom and if it weren't for her then he wouldn't be here and it's nice to acknowledge her even if she's a dragon, she seems to be pleased & proud about you using her name and it would hurt her if you changed your mind.

Linn isn't a bad name either and will only ever be used on forms etc.

Well if you used your mothers name as a middle name and you have told your MIL you will use her name as a middle name this time then I think it is mean nasty and petty to change your mind now, also I bet your own mother was not feeling that you were pushed in to using her name.
A middle name does not get used that much, use it and get over it

I think you should use it! I don't like my mil but would feel a bit mean if I was in the same situation.

Good point kayano - your Mum shouldn't be trying to pull the ladder up after herself!

I think you're going to have to use it, well not have to but really, I do think you should as you have said you will already. It's not like her middle name is something like Ermintrude after all! (apologies to any Ermintrudes out there!)

My mum is Kathleen

So we used Caitlin as a middle name (pronounced like Kathleen in Ireland but said Kate-lynn by many)

Could you not do something like that?
You should use it

Oh and your mum should butt out. She didn't have a problem with you using her name so to winge about using family names and 'pressure' is a bit lame

I think Lynn is a good middle name & it wouldn't be worth upsetting mil by ditching it. I have set the same precedent by using DM's name as DD1's mn. If we have DD2 I will feel obliged to use DMIL's as an mn- it's Judith, which is harder to live with for a baby than Lynn in my mind! We might get away with Something Jude instead, I hope. But Lynn is fine, I think.

What first names do you have in mind?

You said it, you can't change your mind now. It would be very unfair. And it sounds vindictive as well-you started by saying you didn't like the name- then went on to say you didn't like your mil!

What does your dh think?

I think you should use it, it would be embarrassing for her if you back out now that she's told people. It obviously means a lot to her and it's only a middle name.

Madelynn?
Evelyn?
Anne Boleyn

Middle names are great for this sort of thing. No-one really uses them, they just sit there. I'd just use it.

I think you should use it, even if you don't like it much.

You said you would, and even if you hadn't, you used your mum's name first time around, so it seems only fair to use her name this time.

Andeven if you don't like it, it is fairly inoffensive, at the very least, and people rarely use middle names, anyway.

Lynn is fine.

I have a family member's middle name. I don't really like the name but like having the link with the family member. Hope that makes sense.

I think it's a bit late now you've said you'll do it, tbh

I feel it's really a bit mean if you've promised her and she's excited about it. Lynne is a pretty name.. can't you try and come round to using it?