Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Is this a mean thing to do to DM?

44 replies

monsterchild · 29/07/2012 21:38

I am not due until December, this will be our first child. We found out we are having a boy. My DM has a history of making the expectant parents lives hell about names, and then groaning and moaning that they didn't pick names she approved. I saw all this with my brothers and sister when their kids were born.

My Dh has (not unexpectedly) some issues with DM's controlling ways. So he has decided that we are to tell her that the baby will be Catfish. and then, after the baby is born and a normal name sort of name is chosen, she won't have so much to moan about.

I think it's funny, but also a bit mean, however, she does bring this on herself by criticizing everyone's names!

And I'm also a bit afraid that Dh will continue to call the kiddo catfish!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
HolyOlympicNamechangeBatman · 30/07/2012 02:09

Keep your real list of names a secret and turn a deaf ear to what she says, but nod and agree with everything she says. For example;

what are thinking of calling the baby?
Zack
Oh Zack is awful, I much prefer John
Mmm ooh you've got a point there mum, John? Yes I really like it. Much more classic than Zack.

When the baby is born, announce the name you and DH have chosen.

Original poster
monsterchild · 30/07/2012 02:00

thanks for all the input!

It seems everyone is right, Catfish is too obviously not a name. (though DH is calling him that!) However, it will certainly be a challenge to not discuss! I have read many threads here about not discussing names, and tonight I told her that she should send me names she likes for us to deliberate, but we don't have a name just yet.

OP posts:
Badgerina · 30/07/2012 00:54

I don't know, you could tell her you're calling him Catfish. Or you could just tell her the names you like but ignore her comments? Or don't discuss names but tell her why? Or... I don't know - its a tricky business. I wish grandparents would just STFU sometimes heavy sigh..

Tommy · 30/07/2012 00:09

my MIL was convinced we were going to call DS1 Obadiah - because that's what we told her. Gave us a laugh anyway Grin

VolAuVent · 30/07/2012 00:07

Very funny - good idea! :o

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 29/07/2012 23:29

I think it's brilliant idea! And it should prove a salutary reminder of the impertinence of trying to name other peoples' babies.

MagdalenaAlec · 29/07/2012 22:48

I find it quite funny actually..

DC2 is due in 2 weeks and he is still "Flipper" to everyone (including us because his/her name is not sorted out yet). DS also was "Nemo" before his birth.

It is just a joke and will keep the suspense until the end!

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 29/07/2012 22:42

I think it's a good idea, but for it to work well I think you really need to choose something far more 'normal' but awful. I would make a few suggestions but I don't want to offend anyone Grin names like Stanley and Norman

TeWiDoesTheHulaInHawaii · 29/07/2012 22:39

I think it's a great idea!

Plus catfish is a good nn.

NagooingForGold · 29/07/2012 22:28

I called my unborn baby 'Tufty'. trouble was, I grew to quite like the name... hormones are a dangerous thing Grin

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 29/07/2012 22:24

I would not discuss this with your DM at all, and tell her the subject is not up for discussion, that you will let her know the name of her grandchild after the birth.

AKMD · 29/07/2012 22:22

Just don't discuss names.

twooter · 29/07/2012 22:08

Never tell the name before the birth. It's the golden rule.

poppydaisy · 29/07/2012 22:08

In our case, my mum's views were actually very helpful but then we have very similar views/ tastes.

EdithWeston · 29/07/2012 22:07

Do not interfere between DH and his mother on this!

Bump names don't often stick as RL later nns, but in case that happens, are you sure you want a little Catfish in your home?

poppydaisy · 29/07/2012 22:06

Well, I don't think you need to justify your decision to her. Your baby, your name choice imo. Her complaining shouldn't affect you, unless of course you agree with her views.

Original poster
monsterchild · 29/07/2012 22:04

Poppy, I did say that we had likely settled on a few names and told her. She complained that all of them were "dead people, why not one of my brothers?" Of course, one of my brothers means a name she picked.

I am not comfortable with the jokes, especially as I should be able to tell her the names we've chosen. Well, I suppose if she gets really gripy about the whole thing we'll just tell her Catfish, or Pecan, and she can do what she likes with it.

OP posts:
poppydaisy · 29/07/2012 21:58

Just tell her the name YOU and your DH have chosen for your child. No need for silly jokes imo.

sarahseashell · 29/07/2012 21:39

Grin sounds fair enough. Or just tell her you haven't decided yet and you'll tell her after you've named him/her