unmarried so whose surname?

28 replies

Tuzz · 12/06/2012 13:07

'm pregnant with my 1st child. My DP has a son who has his surname. As DP and I are not married so whose surname should this baby have?

I feel strange about having a different name to my child. Once, when traveling with my ss we were stopped and questioned at passport control, why was I traveling with a child who was not MY child? where was the parent? My ss was then questioned aggressively did he know me? where was I taking him? This all happened because we were traveling together with different names.
Will this happen if I travel with my child? will I have to carry something to prove that the child is mine if we have different names?
In all the unmarried families I know the children take the fathers name, is this still because of tradition?

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minipie · 12/06/2012 14:22

If both you and DP want DC to have your surnames, the only fair solutions are 1) double barrel or 2) flip a coin.

Yes, the only tradition that children get given their father's surname is tradition. There is no legal obligation to do this. (This also applies to children born to married parents who have different surnames).

RockChick1984 · 12/06/2012 13:41

I think it's just personal preference now. Having worked in a bank, opening children's accounts and needing to connect the child to the parent to prove address, it's easier if you have the same surname, however the full birth certificate which you can pay for when registering your child shows both parent's names anyway. I'd definitely buy that though if you choose to give your child DP's surname.

If you are planning to get married in the future I'd go for DP's name, as it'll be 1 less thing to change, but if marriage isn't on the cards then I'd definitely be going for my surname!

quoteunquote · 12/06/2012 13:40

Both

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