Baby name "tactics"

We said after 20 week scan 'welcome xyz'. I know it's early but TBH even if we'd lost DS after that point I would still have wanted him to have his name. I'd seen him- he was my baby by then. From that point on we called him by his name- not bump or peanut etc.

If you are sure about the name you want you could go that route. Didn't feel weird to me.

If you're really close and you have your heart set on these names, just tell them they are what you've picked out. They might be relieved to hear you're not considering their choices! If they happen to be the same, you might have to just to agree that either you both use the name or neither of you use it. You'll sort it out, particularly if you've got a good relationship with them.

No one can stop you from using your preferred name. If two cousins end up with the same forename, then so be it. That was actually the norm up until the 20th century, people used quite a small pool of names.

So I would make no secret of the chosen name, then in the unlikely event that the others choose it too, just use it anyway.

If they use those names it's up to them - first come, first served. I don't think they'd be particularly pleased if you dropped hints that the names were "taken", as they'll be deciding before you. Of course, it doesn't stop you using them as well.

Nothing useful to input, but just waving at minipie and saying congrats!

....we have called our DS's by their names from sexing scan. If you simply state the name nobody gives negative feedback because your not asking whether they like it IYSWIM your just telling them your choice as you would after the birth!

First, you may have a boy; they may have a girl. This might never be an issue.

Secondly, if you have decided on these names, I see no reason why you shouldn't tell people! You are obviously very worried about this. It's getting to you and it's showing (e.g. 'Should I just accept that SIL got pregnant first (despite starting TTCing much later) and so gets "first pick" of names?' could sound a little mean-spirited).

If I were in your position and this bothered - and I was 100% certain these were the names and I wasn't going to change my mind - I'd perhaps do something like e-mail them a picture of the baby scan and say something like, 'Meet baby Sophie or Oliver!'

Alternatively, just strike up a conversation with your SIL, ask if she's thought about names yet and tell her definitively what you've picked out. You can't stop her using your choices but you can let her know that you're going to use them too.

If you're picking names as popular as you've implied, it's just a fact of life that other people will like them too - and that might include family members. But there are so many other names around, what are the chances that she'll pick the same one?

I wouldn't mention it casually because that could simply plant the idea in their head without staking a proper claim!
Either don't say at all or (what I would do) as soon as you know the sex simply state what your child's name is to the whole family. Then there is no debate. You'll have 20 week scan before her LO is born so should be fine!

There's a risk that this tactic could lead to a big row. You can't "reserve" names, nothing to do with when you started ttc. How's your relationship with them to start with? I'd never have dreamed of talking about names before our babies were born as people react and might spoil it; you might change your minds; your baby might not look like a xxx in the end. I'd say keep quiet and see how things turn out, without getting totally fixated on one name.

if you mention it all casual like then they might say "ooo that's nice, didn't think about that " and use it!

or they'll say they hate it

I'ld keep schtum!

Do it.