Calling people who have kept their own surname or double barrelled and given their DC their maiden name as an extra middle name ....

My dd is FirstName MiddleName MySurname-Ex's Surname

but it usually gets shortened to FirstName MySurname by nursery staff, receptionists at doctors/dentitst etc as it is quite a long name otherwise but on official things its obv her full name.

OR

Could you consider doing what we did and merging half of each surname together to create a whole new surname? E.g. Ms Howard & Mr Johnson = Howson or Wardson.

You would have to have the kind of names that would work this way I suppose but it gets rid of the awkward hypenating two long names together issue that bothers some. It's also completely egalitarian favouring neither and giving equal weight to both. Both adults then change name by deed poll - very straightforward - then when registering DCs use the new name as normal.

I love that we have created a whole new name for our family.

I know someone who is quite grand who has two surnames which are not hyphenated ie you just say one and then the other. But I think he finds that he has to hyphenate them in order for government departments etc to call him by the right name.

People will ditch names that are not double-barrelled IME.

I think if you want your surname actually used, you will have to double barrel.

sorry should be "SurnameAsMiddleName", not "MiddleNameAsSurname"

i was FirstName MiddleNameAsSurname MaidenSurname. Now FirstName MiddleNameAsSurname MarriedSurname. No hyphens.

the middle name is a maiden name from my dad's side. mum got to choose my first name, dad got middle...

it is hideous and stupid. i hate having a completely unfeminine middle name that also has nothing to do with me. i would have much preferred something chosen to reflect ME, not my family of origin. i already HAD a surname to indicate which family i came from.

so of course i would not go for anything but hyphenation, theoretically anyway.

i think if you are set on including your surname somewhere, maybe go for the v sensible Icelandic thing of giving girls Mum's surname, and boys Dad's surname? that way it's all down to chance which name is used, all v egalitarian.

or at least include two middle names - one that refers to your child, and one for your family iyswim.

I did change my surname to Firstname Myname-Hisname, but I found the whole namechange process such a massive bore that I've drifted back to just Firstname Myname.
DS is Firstname Myname-Hisname though. The ONLY people that don't use it are DH's family (whole other thread ).

As with Slambang

Myself and at least 5 or 6 friends had both parents surnames as our surnames, but without a hyphen! Our school was very pro-calling a child what they were supposed to be, so nicknames/shortened versions and one/two surnames with hyphen or without..

We had 'Campion Smith', 'Bartho Wells', 'Nowd Bailey' and 'Bailey Hope' to name but a few!!

Sorry - no idea why my laptop reposted my comment! I'm not trying to hammer in my point of view, honest!

oops , sp

Disgraceful that you weren't allowed that option for registering , ICutMYFoot

A dislike of double -barreled names / slight cringeing ( my own feeble emotion sometimes on using ) is not a good enough reason for erasing the mother's name !

DS has my surname as a middle name. its in his passport so if I travel with DS with out DH its more obvious that he is my child.

My DD is the same as others have said - First Name, Middle Name, My Surname, DH's Surname. I didn't change my name when I got married, and it's quite unusual and I'm my dad's only child (and the only one of the grandchildren with it as my dad has two sisters) so I felt it was important that I passed it on. I'm 5 months pregnant and will be doing the same with the next one.

My DD has DH's surname with mine as an extra middle name. She's mainly known as Robin (DH surname). I don't like hyphened surnames so it was my own decision not to join them, also our surnames both start with the same sound and have the same number of syllables so it wasn't ideal.

The reason I wanted both surnames was partly because my Dad was an only child and had 3 daughters, so this was a way of keeping his (unusual) name going. And also because we both travel a lot and not always together, but my passport is in my name and I think it's a good idea for our DD to be connected to both of us in official documents in case something awful happens and I can't claim any connection to her.

If we had had dc they would have had our hyphenated surname - although double-barrelled names not 100% to our taste , Dh & I both felt it was important for equality & sense of dc's roots . In this country , not using hyphen means first name is ignored , whether intentionally a middle name or not

I think people will aways find a way to sneer slightly at name choices , for whatever reason , & not going doule barrelled won't necessarily avoid that -I was given my mother's maiden name , though only known by father's surname , in a culture where 3 surnames are common , & am sometimes smirked at when I use full name in paperwork< thumbs nose >

youll need to retain your surname and double barrell as when filling forms,birth cert etc it will ask

foreame
surname

frankly it's not up to your dp if you want to retain your surname then do so. your middle name isn't same as surname

our dc have double barrelled names
forenames
two surnames his and mine

I did this as where my children were born we were not allowed to register them with both last names or with my last name if Dp was going to be named on the birth certificates.

So, although we wanted to double barrel, we were forced to give them both my last name as an extra middle. They are still known to school, friends etc as firstname myname hisname.

We all have the same surname. It mine-dh's. So he has taken mine as much as I have his. It works for us. His parents were a bit about it though.

Mine have:

First Name. Middle Name. My Maiden Name As Extra Middle Name. (Dad's) Surname.

So for example, John Simon Harris Smith (not Harris-Smith). But as with most people, day to day (in school etc) are known as John Smith. The important thing, to me, is that my surname is in there, for them to know where they come from, iykwim.

My two have first name + middle name + my surname + DH's surname, but they are generally just known as first name + DH's surname.

Less of a mouthful that way, also easier they were born and spent their first few years in Japan where no one has a middle name or double-barrelled surname so forms etc only have space for two names.

I think if you want to make sure that both surnames are used, you just have to make sure that you always refer to them that way, and always fill in forms (for doctors, schools etc) with both surnames in the surname box, whether or not they have a hyphen.

My ds is:first name my surname dh surname
He doesn't have any other middle name.
We wanted to include my family name for history sake really but it's to be used as a middle name not as an extra surname.
I'm puzzled over what to do though if we have a dc2. Should I carry it on so all dcshave same middle name? Or just first?
Also to confuse things, dc1's surname is not quite dh's surname, we internationalized it on his birth certificate
I kept my own surname so the three of us all have different surnames which I kind of like!

My DD has DH's surname with mine as an extra middle name. She's mainly known as Robin (DH surname). I don't like hyphened surnames so it was my own decision not to join them, also our surnames both start with the same sound and have the same number of syllables so it wasn't ideal.

The reason I wanted both surnames was partly because my Dad was an only child and had 3 daughters, so this was a way of keeping his (unusual) name going. And also because we both travel a lot and not always together, but my passport is in my name and I think it's a good idea for our DD to be connected to both of us in official documents in case something awful happens and I can't claim any connection to her.

My dcs have first name +middle name+ my surname+ dh's surname. They use first name + dh's surname.

IMO if you register them with your surname as a 'middle name' (ie a forename not a surname) it wont ever be used in a surname context e.g. passports, forms etc.

If you register them with 2 surnames (which we did) then they have the option of dropping one quietly in daily usage (school) because sometimes a double-barrelled name is just too much of a mouthful.

You have the choice of hyphenating or not hyphenating the 2 surnames. We chose not to, specifically so the dcs could more easily leave a name out in informal circumstances. A few computers can't cope without hyphenating the 2 surnames but it has not been a major problem through their lives.

We did it so the dcs could have both first names and surnames from mine and dh's cultures and could take on future identities of whichever country they choose to belong to and also becasue I am a militant feminist and wanted my surname to be kept.