Name bullying

There are myriad reasons why children bully, and in turn for how that bully selects a victim and then what is picked on and how.

Yes, name (and anything else to do with first impressions) can be part of that. And names are also easy quarry for nicknames and playground teasing which falls short of bullying.

I'd say that it is names with unfortunate associations which are most likely to be difficult for the child to live with.

SoupDreggon that's not why I or anyone else was specifically saying, I don't think, and I'm sorry if I've offended you somehow.

What I meant was...well, for example, I knew brothers named Willy and Peter, last name Johnson. ALL THREE of those names are euphemisms for penis. (Though Willy isn't used as much here as there.) They were never once teased. They wouldn't have cared. They would have told the person to eff off and gone off to play with no further thought to it.

On another kid, those names would have been disastrous.

dd 2 is Eloisa and is now 12 in primary school she was bullied about her name they called her E-Lowsa she used to hate it and got very upset about it. It stopped when I told her to say "at least my parents have some imaginations and haven't just stuck with what was fashionable when I was born" It was not actually specifically my opinion but it stopped the bullying when it was turned on them.

I was bullied myself with my name it was my birthday recently one of my school "mates" thought it was "fun" to mention it on my facebook I pointed out I was now 42 and I had not cared for it when i was a child so why did she bring it up now. I got an apology.

I know of other children who have been bullied over their names both when we lived in Outer London and where we are now.(Country side)

Yep. I would have been - and was - bullied regardless.

I was bullied in a small Scottish primary school for having a posh English accent and being bad at spelling.

Then I was bullied in a posh English boarding school for wearing the wrong tights.

Then I was bullied in an international school abroad for.. I dunno, being a dick, being unpopular, being someone who people didn't want to be friends with, snogging a waiter which I didn;t even do! People just made stuff up ... people just like to bully me!

Now I'm not kidding myself that it's not me. Of course it's me. I must have been wildly unlikable in some way, and I don't think that my accent or my tights were really at fault. Ffs, kids don't really care if someone is good at spelling do they? Yet they mocked me mercilessly for it.

Meanwhile I remember a fat girl with short curly hair who wore her mum's jeans and was called Bun who everyone liked.

Look at it another way, Notespelling - would you have been bullied if you took away whatever you were bullied about? If you were the "fat kid" would you have been bullied if you were thin? If you were the "NHS glasses" kid would you have been bullied if you had contact lenses?

Of course I would have been bullied because I am a natural victim and a scapegoat. According to this thread anyway.

I was specifically "bullied" because of my name. This was the only thing I was ever bullied or teased about.

Question for Stranded and Soup Do you think that you would not have been bullied had you been called Emma or Lucy?

I was bullied, and I am called something like Emma or Lucy. If I had been called Grizelle I suppose that would have been a nice easy thing for the bullies to grab hold of, but being called something dull didn't save me.

My children have come across all sorts of weird and wonderful names in their short childhoods and they take it all in their strides.

My DDs have known a Ptolemy, Isis, Habiba, Tosca, Josca.... all names which have gone without a mention from my DDs.

Although my DD1 did once comment that she thought Faye was an odd name, and why would someone want to use that... .

That said, I can't say I've seen any particular bullying over names and I've taught all sorts... including a Geoffrey, a Dorian and the like.

The only time its come close is with the names Ben and Amy. I once taught 4 Bens and as their names all came after each other in the register they were known as:

Tall Ben
Sporty Ben
Ginger Ben and
Thick Ben.

Always felt sorry for Thick ben, but that's just how the kids differentiated between them.

I also had a class of Amys and again they were distinguished by their looks. Most of the descriptions were okay, although it wasn't great for 'Amy Microphone Head' (on account of her unfortunate haircut.

It's Zulfikar or Zulfiqar. Not Zulfucker.
For instance- here.

Sigh...I have given up many of my favorite names due to marrying a Mr. Brick, Soup.

I asked my two state-schooled teens, and they both said that they had never known anyone, at primary or secondary school, bullied about their name. Ever. They said that one boy, who has a name which can be misheard as a girls name (it's not Lucian, but along the lines of Lucian / Lucy-Ann) had awkward moments, not bullying, but occasions when people were laughing as a result of misunderstandings IYSWIM.

My kids' avice is - foreign or unusual names are fine, but don't give your boy a girl's name.

No, it wasn't made up, it wasn't a cartoon character or a rude word it was a very common, ordinary name.

Except it was one syllable and rhymed with my one syllable surname. Oh, and my surname was also a noun. Let's just say that if the name you have been wanting to name your daughter since forever is, random name... say Pat, you either should not marry Mr Cat or you should discard your favourite name.

I can remember a time when I was perhaps 6 (?) when I was reasonably confident and the name didn't bother me. Then the teasing at school started and it was all downhill from there.

There's nothing wrong with unusual names - we live in a multicultural society now and this isn't going to be so much of a problem for children. However, stupid names are another thing entirely.

I worry about this, see, cos my two have unusual names. But they go well with our forrin surname.

the name itself? or people?

Well, having a stupid name destroyed my confidence. That is a fact.

kids bully if they're bullies. It's nothing to do with the name and it never has been. If someone is a bully, they'll find something. It probably used to be names because that was easy. Now there's much more diversity in names, it's something else, but the reason hasn't changed, iyswim.

Someone who bullies you because your name is Tay-Ce Hulahoop would not turn into a fine upstanding citizen who spent their saturdays looking for old ladies to help across roads if they were schooled with people who were all called John.

I think it's important to stress that there is never anything about the victim that makes them the reason they are bullied.

I don't think unusual names are a problem. Names that mean something else might be a problem e.g. Willie. In this part of Scotland, a Ned is a delinquent; that wouldn't be a good name to have.

Boys with a unisex name usually associated with girls might have a problem; there are three Morgans at my kids' school, and two of them are girls, which I think makes things awkward for the boy. Also, all the named things like pencils, keyrings, etc with Morgan on them are pink. They might not be bullied per se, but there'd be awkwardness.

Unusual or foreign names aren't a problem, though.

I think kids are more likely to pick on kids for their character (shy, clever) or more commonly their appearance (overweight, spotty etc). To be honest I'd much rather be teased for my name (which is completely out of my control) than anything else.