Thoughts on having the same name as a friends baby?

It's not as if you'd never heard of the name Charlie before this person used it. So you're not "copying" them.

I think it is totally fine and anyone getting upset about it has little to worry about.

You chose a name, they chose a name, it stands to reason people of the same age/interests/friends may have similar tastes in names. I've never known any adult to have a chip on their shoulder about other people having the same name as them.

Don't do it...! Or at least check first they are okay about it... Before I got pregnany, my friend used the name I told her I "loved" so now both our girls have the same (not all that common) name, which is okay, but not ideal...

I can see it might be a problem with close family members, expecially if the surname will be the same, but not amongst friends, if a friend took offence to my choice of child's name I would take that as a sign that that friendship just wasn't meant to be.

It is pretty unimaginative.

I have two friends who were best friends at college, they were both due their first DC within a few weeks of each other, and they both loved the name Matthew. They discussed it and both used it. They are still good friends but don't live close so the two aren't in the same class or anything. If you love the name, who cares if there are others with it? If you do care, then you'd probably choose a more unusual name, even if it wasn't so nice. There will be other Charlies anyway, as it's a lovely, therefore popular, name.

I am interested in knowing why it might bother someone to have their choice of name used by a friend. Do they think it's going to bother the DCs to have the same name as a friend? By the time they go to school there will be 100s of Charlies. I think it's more that we all set too much store by names that we think will define our DCs so if it's 'stolen' we think they will somehow be less unique as a person. What rubbish. It's just a name. If you like it, use it.

Also, have you actually asked your friend if she would mind? If you don't have the sort of friendship where you can be honest with each other, maybe it's not worth making this concession to her.

Having said this, I would find it bordering on creepy if I had chosen a very unusual name and a friend knew it was my choice and used it before me. But I am sure I would get over it. There are lots of names out there.

My DD2 has the same name as my friend's DD. There are only two weeks between them too (her DD is 2 weeks older so it looks a bit like we totally copied but we didn't, it was purely coincidental).

We had decided, before we were even ttc, that if we were ever to have another DD we would call her that name.

Then I ended up pg at the same time as my friend and I never discussed names. When she announced the name I was and I did consider changing but we couldn't find another name that DH liked. I did ask her if she minded and she didn't. It's quite a classic name so it's not like it's unusual for lots of people to share the name anyway.

We call our DD a shortened version of the name anyway, so it's less confusing!

We have a Thomas and a close friend asked me if we minded as it was a name they love. I was flattered.... Depends on the friend.

Unless you and the boys are going to be lifelong friends I don't see that it matters. I had lots of friends with DCs the same age when they were babies and toddlers-we all moved on. To tell DS he didn't have a certain name because I had a friend 20 yrs ago, who used it would seem rather silly-especially as he has no memory of the friend!

Isn't it just confusing to have two kids with the same name in a group of friends / family? I know it happens anyway at school etc, but why knowingly create that situation?

I don't think it's 'stealing' - it's such a popular mainstream name that they could hardly think you'd only chosen it because they did. I could understand them being a bit if they'd chosen something very unusual or 'unique' in the hope of their child having a distinctive name, but even then no one owns a name!

Might be a bit confusing if you and the DCs spent a lot of time together, but if it's someone you only see occasionally I really wouldn't worry.

awkward - you don't own names though. Both our friends and us had separately chosen the names, were due at the same time, we m/c and then they had their ds several months in advance to us...it happens and given my time again I would have just used the name. if it's important to you its bound to be just as important to them.

I think if it is a popular name like Tom or Olivia, it's fine.

If it's Peregrine or Araminta, I i don't think it's on.

WHen a friend did this to us we were abslutely gobsmacked...couldn't belive it...I think it's beyond rude. There are so many OTHER names...why choose ours?

My dd2 has the same as my closest friend' s daughter. It was the only name I really liked & because she is in the UK (I'm in Oz) we didn't think it was an issue. Her dd is very chuffed to have a 'mini me' . Ironically, they also share the same birthday.

I think it wouldn't have mattered in the past, but people seem to invest so much into names nowadays that I don't think it's acceptable. The way people think about it now, if you had told her that it was your favourite name, then she was in the wrong for choosing it, but if you didn't and then you use then it it looks as if you're copying. It's a bizarre way of thinking, to my mind, but the you go!

Unless the name is completely unique, how on earth can it be stolen??

No biggie- I have 2 friends with baby Evas 6 months apart. When the first one gave birth, the second one was very forthright in a jokey way about how she had 'stolen' her name. But she still used it and neither of them are bothered, after all it's a common name.

We gave up the name which we would have preferred for our ds as our friends named their son 4 months previous to us. We see them 1-2 times a year and we should have just gone for it......having said that, my ds Charlie really suits his name!!!!

A colleague of mine had her dd 3 months after mine & called her same name as my dd. At the time I was miffed but now realise she shouldn't have go with a 2nd choice name just to spare my feelings. We still work together 9 years later & its all fine. Go with the name you love but be prepared that your friend might be annoyed. I agree that you should mention it before hand as I think that was part of problem with me as my colleague hadn't said she liked my choice when we used to discuss names at lunch time.

There are so many names in the world but on the other hand probably only a handful that one would really choose for one's child. I would go for it but flag it up to friend too. Charlie is sufficiently popular that it is going to appeal to lots of people so don't think she will be offended.

Generally think one would be more likely to have a problem with a really unusual name.

In a way like-minded friends are more likely to choose similar names because they share similar traits etc..... Two of our ante-natal group named their DDs 'Emma' within a matter of a year of each other and they didn't seem to bat an eyelid about the duplication.

But there are lots of Charlies out there. Could you not consider it as a middle name and review your first name options?

My cousin named her ds the same as mine. I just thought it a bit odd, but as I never see her really it's not an issue.

When SIL was pregnant and found out she was having a boy, my brother rang to ask if we minded them using DS' middle name for his first name... I really didn't see the problem. DH shares a name with one of his cousins... they're just knows as BigDHname and LittleDHname.