Thoughts on having the same name as a friends baby?

We had a similar situation but reversed, being that we were 'Charlie's parents'. Our friend who wanted to use our DS1's name (a very common but still lovely name) asked us if they would mind if they used the name for their expected DS1 and we said yes, and in a way were a little honoured and felt it affirmed that it is a good name (sounds silly and egotistical but you all know the emotions & doubts surrounding name choosing).

Then we had the same situation as you for our DS2, we liked a name less common but the same as friends of ours DS2. We contacted them and asked if it was ok and they were over joyed and felt the same as we did when we were asked for DS1's name.

We live in separate countries to both the namesakes but it is always a little special when we get together as our LOs have a little special tie.

It all depends on your friend, really. My impulse would be to say 'ask her', but if you're not prepared to change, then there won't be any point. It varies so much and people feel incredibly strongly about it. Be prepared for any reaction! Having said that, Charlie isn't at all unusual and so she's going to be expecting others surely.

No, I wouldn't use it, this happened to me. Years ago I'd mentioned that I'd liked the name Amelia to someone at a family gathering almost a year later they had a DD and used the name. I was a little shocked but since I wasn't even planning a child I didn't think too deeply about it. A few years later I'm pregnant and we consider Amelia. However, I couldn't bring myself to use it, the name just didn't feel unique to us there would have been two Amelia's in the family. Even though we never see them we decided against it. Really glad we never went for it because Amelia is so popular now and even though I think it is a beautiful name I have gone off it.

Did you always have charlie in mind or did you think of it when you heard it used for friends so

Charlie's a great name -if it's your first/preferred choice, I'd go for it. Based on the situation you've described, doesn't sound like it should be a problem.

i think Charlie is a common enough name that it is fine, if it was a REALLY unusual name then i probably wouldnt, when preg with ds3 we were going to call him Arlo, we never mentioned this to anyone, so how suprised was i when a friend of mine (through a toddler group) had her baby two weeks before me and used the name Arlo! as it is not a common name we then didnt use it, but they subsequently moved and we didnt stay in touch so i wish we had of done tbh, as it is we gave the name Arlo to ds4 as middle name :)

Using the same name in a family, I can understand someone being upset, but not friends, and not with a popular name like Charlie.
If you were really really close and likely to be in each others' lives forever, then you should be close enough to discuss it. If you're not then it shouldn't be an issue.
I wouldn't be offended!

If the only reason the name has come to your contemplation is because your friend named his or her child it, I would either not use it at all or proceed with caution. Tell your friend of your intention to use it. I wouldn't go as far as asking permission but I think it would be polite, and avoid awkwardness, to inform her.

If it is a more commonplace name that you have been made aware of through other sources (i.e. it hasn't just popped in your mind because your friend named her son it), use it with a clean conscience but still politely tell your friend.

Totally agree that no-one 'owns' a name. I truly could not care less if someone used the same names as us - I would be flattered but certainly not angry! My sis wants to use the male version of our DD's name if she has a boy - I really have no problem with it.

Like many others say, if the name is common place anyway, it's bonkers to think someone else isn't going to like and use it. There are some circumstances where a bit of sensitivity is needed, but generally, I would be a little baffled at someone thinking they have more 'right' to a name than someone else.

I also don't understand possession of a name.if anything i would feel flattered that they thought i had such good taste!!!

I can't believe people actually use the phrase, "They stole OUR name." Get over yourself! Do you honestly think that much of yourself that you believe people deliberately copied you?
Maybe they love the name and figure that naming their child takes precedence over who has the same name!

Cripes, I couldn't give a stuff. This name ownership thing is seriously weird.

It might be a bit different if the name was very unusual, but Charlie is hardly unique, is it?

My dcs 2 & 3 both have the same names as our friends' (older) children. We'd chosen names before we started ttc but my friends were fortunate enough to fall pg quicker than me!
It's never been a problem for any of us though. Dd's name is quite popular, ds's is unusual in this country.

Why not go for Charles on the certificate...and then call him Charlie? That way it's not the same.

We were considering Carys for a girl, but our cousin named her child that a few months ago (completely unaware it was on our list!)

At that point we considered Cerys and Charis.

...but we're having a boy. :)

Seems a bit silly to be, nobody owns a name do they? We have friends who have two children with the exact same names as my two, we are off on holiday together in a couple of weeks so it should be interesting :)

I wouldn't. But I'm a bit obsessive about giving children less popular names as my RL is common as muck and it's a PITA.

Our boy name was used by my friend when her DS was born. She asked what i thought of the name, I told her it was our choice if we were ever lucky enough to have a child and a boy (we had trouble TTC) but to go ahead and use it if she wanted to as it didn't bother us (although I was a bit that she'd had her 4th baby and I couldn't even get pregnant). By the time I was pregnant, I'd come to be very close to two other people with sons of the same name but it was a family name so we weren't about to change it. Had a girl in the end anyway

Do it, I had always said I would name my daughter a certain name if I had another, everybody knew, when my friend got pregnant she told me that she was considering that name if she had a daughter (its quite unusual) and I didn't mind it's a beautiful name why wouldn't she want it :-) it wouldn't stop me from using it in the future!

I agree, if you are going to go ahead anyway, don't ask, if they are unhappy about it that would make things even worse.

our DD has same second name as my sisters DD who is a year older, my Dh really wanted it as first name as in his family using family names is very important, so as second name was a compromise which my sister is fine with as I explained to my mother and when DD was born just said she is baby tigh and her second name is after DH granny so everyone knew why that was second name,
we purposefully did not ask my siter if it was OK first because it is harder if they say no to go ahead anyway so if you are going to call charlie don't tell her before charlie arrives

I'd be pleased and think what good taste you have! I don't see how someone can be upset. Why would they be?

I just don't get the "unacceptable" camp. At all.

a) Nobody "owns" names.

b) If you had a Charlie and then SUBSEQUENTLY met and befriended another Mum, would you then say "Oh, what a shame! We get on really well but we can't be friends because, well, obviously our children have the same name and it would just all be too confusing"!

If you'd pick the name anyway, pick it.

Bit awkward if you ask me, but if you really like it, go for it!

It all depends on whether they'd have called their DS Charlie if they knew that's what you were going to choose. If like some of us they'd have steered clear because they'd prefer not to have the same name as a friend, then they will be annoyed as they can't do anything about it now. The only way to find out is to ask them. If they mind it doesn't mean they are unreasonable, but it would be unkind not to ask now that you have begun to consider their feelings on it.